Parotid gland tumor. Will need surgery. Your experience at Mayo?

@trainwife, how did your appointment go?

My appointment with Dr. Dey went well. He is warm and welcoming at every visit. I was numbed in the office and sat for about 45 minutes before I was taken to another room where the microneedling took place. RF Microneedling was more painful than I expected, but I just let him do the work. He answered all my questions. Cannot lift the upper lip anymore surgically because there is a risk that my lips won't completely seal. He said, and I agree, that I am doing absolutely everything in my power to achieve my smile/speech results, but it will take years. I'm still in the early stages of healing from the January 21 surgery. Each day, I'm learning something. Mirror exercise is my newest routine. I will continue OT/Speech and Red Light Therapy, and work out daily to keep blood flowing. I also take Lion's Mane to help nerve production. I am not giving up on getting a smile. My face looks so good now, I wish I had asked Dr. Dey for a nose job!

My Momma has a swollen lymph node in her neck. It’s about the size of a plum & been like that since September of ‘25 and noticed a spot lower in her neck (thyroid) biopsy results came back yesterday from the lymph node & it’s cancer. We go tomorrow to talk about her options. Have not gotten results back from thyroid yet but assuming it will be cancer as well. I’m paralyzed with fear. I feel like I could throw up & all I can do is cry. I’m scared. I have no one to talk to hence why I’m here. I do not trust the Dr’s in my small town & definitely want her to get the best PROPER CARE!!! Any help, words of advise etc & all the prayers appreciated!! All I want to do is sit & be with my Momma but not sure that’s what she wants.

@missy78 Any cancer diagnosis is a huge shock to everyone. It forces us to face our own mortality and it takes over your life while you secure diagnosis and treatment. It is healthy and normal to have emotions like you are. As you face this new realization, you will find an inner strength that you didn't know you had. When you see the doctor tomorrow have a few questions prepared such as a request for a second opinion at a larger cancer /referral/teaching hospital, the odds of successful treatment?, side effects of the treatment?. Talk to your mom beforehand about considering travel to a referral canter for best medical care. Initially it seems like just an added burden, but if medical care is limited at home, travel may be worth it. Sometimes, once you have a firm diagnosis and scan results, a video visit can be done where you share your results with a specialist to see if there are better options for treatment.
My cancer was a rather rare location and we began with a referral to a teaching hospital an hour away, but ended up at Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN, 10 hours away. I feel that I am alive today because we chose that route. Instead of surgery by an ENT locally who has done a few, I had surgery by two specialists who do these surgeries daily. I continue to return there 14 years later for that standard of care. Initially it may seem difficult, maybe too difficult, but it should be something to consider, whether she chooses that route or not. Be strong. Have hope. You both can get through this and return to a normal life.

@sue thank you so much. My Momma is a silent sufferer which makes it harder not knowing what she is thinking or feeling & Im most definitely sure she would object to “driving” to far for treatment but I can not take no for an answer this time. I am trying to keep my faith & hope but then I get that sick feeling in my stomach. The dread. The fear of the unknown is suffocating. I’ve started the process online with a Mayo Clinic appointment but did not have her insurance information but I’ll get it. I’m going to jot down your question suggestions for me so I’m better prepared for tomorrow. I mean them no disrespect but I do believe in 2nd opinions. I’m trying to educate myself like my life depends upon it because I feel like it does.

@colleenyoung Dr. Eric Moore performed a total parotidectomy and neck dissection to remove the tumor. Mayo is, in my opinion, the best place to get care. It will be 3 years in August. I met Dr. Moore on August 17, and my surgery was on August 28. I am very grateful to everyone at Mayo Clinic.

@missy78 It is overwhelming to say the least. You are not alone. Dr. Eric Moore was my surgeon. Mayo Clinic is the best. I was taken care of and knew I was getting the best care I could. I will keep you in my prayers.

@missy78
Dr Eric Moore (ENT) & Dr Michael Link (neurosurgeon) removed a tumor from my carotid artery July 2025. Often there is damage to the plethora of nerves causing facial drooping, etc. Not in my case...they are as expert as they come! Dr. Moore also removed a large lymph node at the same time. Since then he's recommended checking out my thyroid; I had a biopsy of calcified largest nodule 2 weeks ago. Carotid tumor, lymph node, thyroid nodule have all been benign, but Mayo recommends I have thyroid checked annually since I have multiple nodules. I fly to my appointments, as it is a 3-day drive to get there. My husband and I will keep going there for these checkups, as I was repeatedly told, "no problems" at home. One home ENT even mentioned biopsy of the carotid tumor, which can actually cause coma and death! If you don't have your health and advocate strongly for yourself, you have nothing. Keep pushing for your Mama. A visit to see Dr Moore would be more than well worth it. Those people are SAINTS. Best of everything to you and your mom!

Hi @missy78

Four things during my cancer journey that helped me keep track of everything from diagnosis/treatment options to my medications or pain meds.
One, I bought a Philips VoiceTracer DVT1160 ($42 on Amazon) to record every appointment with every person I was in contact with so I could always go back and play so nothing is missed. Never had any of my doctors or others which I have seen many over the years not allow it and some actually were glad so important information is not missed. I have done this in 2008 with my first tonsil cancer caused from HPV and more recently in 2024 for my tongue cancer which was most likely caused from my radiation treatment in 08’.
Two, go to a cancer center and if possible one that specializes in head & neck.
Three, get a second opinion.
Four, be your own best advocate as you only get ONE life.

Best of luck with the journey and hope this helps ease some of the frustration.

@missy78 It is very scary to get a cancer diagnosis. Is there a Memorial Sloan Kettering in your area? They have a lot of clinical trials and these show good results. Maybe there is a Mayo clinical locally, again a wonderful place to go to. New treatments show great results. Keep us updated here .