@missy78 Any cancer diagnosis is a huge shock to everyone. It forces us to face our own mortality and it takes over your life while you secure diagnosis and treatment. It is healthy and normal to have emotions like you are. As you face this new realization, you will find an inner strength that you didn't know you had. When you see the doctor tomorrow have a few questions prepared such as a request for a second opinion at a larger cancer /referral/teaching hospital, the odds of successful treatment?, side effects of the treatment?. Talk to your mom beforehand about considering travel to a referral canter for best medical care. Initially it seems like just an added burden, but if medical care is limited at home, travel may be worth it. Sometimes, once you have a firm diagnosis and scan results, a video visit can be done where you share your results with a specialist to see if there are better options for treatment.
My cancer was a rather rare location and we began with a referral to a teaching hospital an hour away, but ended up at Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN, 10 hours away. I feel that I am alive today because we chose that route. Instead of surgery by an ENT locally who has done a few, I had surgery by two specialists who do these surgeries daily. I continue to return there 14 years later for that standard of care. Initially it may seem difficult, maybe too difficult, but it should be something to consider, whether she chooses that route or not. Be strong. Have hope. You both can get through this and return to a normal life.

@missy78 It is overwhelming to say the least. You are not alone. Dr. Eric Moore was my surgeon. Mayo Clinic is the best. I was taken care of and knew I was getting the best care I could. I will keep you in my prayers.

Hi @missy78

Four things during my cancer journey that helped me keep track of everything from diagnosis/treatment options to my medications or pain meds.
One, I bought a Philips VoiceTracer DVT1160 ($42 on Amazon) to record every appointment with every person I was in contact with so I could always go back and play so nothing is missed. Never had any of my doctors or others which I have seen many over the years not allow it and some actually were glad so important information is not missed. I have done this in 2008 with my first tonsil cancer caused from HPV and more recently in 2024 for my tongue cancer which was most likely caused from my radiation treatment in 08’.
Two, go to a cancer center and if possible one that specializes in head & neck.
Three, get a second opinion.
Four, be your own best advocate as you only get ONE life.

Best of luck with the journey and hope this helps ease some of the frustration.

@missy78 It is very scary to get a cancer diagnosis. Is there a Memorial Sloan Kettering in your area? They have a lot of clinical trials and these show good results. Maybe there is a Mayo clinical locally, again a wonderful place to go to. New treatments show great results. Keep us updated here .