Breast Cancer Action Site: I Now Am Finally Validated

This is so good! Thank you so much for posting this. I have felt exactly the same way, and I'm thrilled to see this acknowledged on a public platform. Corporations absolutely exploit breast cancer "awareness" to make money. People who have no experience with breast cancer expect you to "fight" and "be positive" through some of the worst physical and emotional difficulties of your life. I find it disgusting that people believe if you just "fight" hard enough, you can "beat" breast cancer. To me, the implication is that those who don't survive just "gave in" or didn't try hard enough. I am not brave, I am not a warrior--I had no choice! I was diagnosed and I went through treatment. Heaven forbid if we dare "complain" about the horrible aching after a chemo treatment and Neulasta injection, if we are emotionally affected by losing our hair, if we're too exhausted to make dinner (you just sat in a chair all day getting your infusion, it's not like you ran a marathon). I will never forget this--I was talking to a friend after church, and she asked how I was feeling. I replied simply and truthfully, "tired." And a man who was with us told me, "Oh, but you have to stay positive!" My dear friend snapped back at him in my defense, and told him I'm the most positive person she knows; but that's not the point! I was tired, and positivity has nothing to do with that. Another good one: I had surgery, chemo, then 33 radiation treatments (which left me exhausted and my skin like blackened chicken). Shortly after, on a long walk with my now-ex-husband, I fell behind. He was irritated that I was slowing down, and I explained I still experienced pretty wicked fatigue from my treatment. He said, "Oh, from the cancer you don't even have anymore?" as if my fatigue should have disappeared the day I finished treatment. And then there's the unseen effects! My surgical scars have faded, my hair has grown back, my burnt skin has healed, but now I get Zoladex shots to suppress my ovaries and take an AI, so I have no estrogen left. And that causes fatigue, and brain fog, and makes it hard to lose weight, and I feel like I'm 110 years old when I'm 50. I've known a few women who were diagnosed after I'd been through all this, and I have told each of them that they are allowed to be upset, they are allowed to admit to their pain. They do not have to plaster on a fake smile, at least not with me. I think it's essential we have space to be authentic. No, it won't do any good to perpetually wallow in self-pity, but I have never once encountered a woman who did that!
Anyway, oops, I didn't mean to turn that into my own therapy session! I really just came to say I loved the article!

This is so good! Thank you so much for posting this. I have felt exactly the same way, and I'm thrilled to see this acknowledged on a public platform. Corporations absolutely exploit breast cancer "awareness" to make money. People who have no experience with breast cancer expect you to "fight" and "be positive" through some of the worst physical and emotional difficulties of your life. I find it disgusting that people believe if you just "fight" hard enough, you can "beat" breast cancer. To me, the implication is that those who don't survive just "gave in" or didn't try hard enough. I am not brave, I am not a warrior--I had no choice! I was diagnosed and I went through treatment. Heaven forbid if we dare "complain" about the horrible aching after a chemo treatment and Neulasta injection, if we are emotionally affected by losing our hair, if we're too exhausted to make dinner (you just sat in a chair all day getting your infusion, it's not like you ran a marathon). I will never forget this--I was talking to a friend after church, and she asked how I was feeling. I replied simply and truthfully, "tired." And a man who was with us told me, "Oh, but you have to stay positive!" My dear friend snapped back at him in my defense, and told him I'm the most positive person she knows; but that's not the point! I was tired, and positivity has nothing to do with that. Another good one: I had surgery, chemo, then 33 radiation treatments (which left me exhausted and my skin like blackened chicken). Shortly after, on a long walk with my now-ex-husband, I fell behind. He was irritated that I was slowing down, and I explained I still experienced pretty wicked fatigue from my treatment. He said, "Oh, from the cancer you don't even have anymore?" as if my fatigue should have disappeared the day I finished treatment. And then there's the unseen effects! My surgical scars have faded, my hair has grown back, my burnt skin has healed, but now I get Zoladex shots to suppress my ovaries and take an AI, so I have no estrogen left. And that causes fatigue, and brain fog, and makes it hard to lose weight, and I feel like I'm 110 years old when I'm 50. I've known a few women who were diagnosed after I'd been through all this, and I have told each of them that they are allowed to be upset, they are allowed to admit to their pain. They do not have to plaster on a fake smile, at least not with me. I think it's essential we have space to be authentic. No, it won't do any good to perpetually wallow in self-pity, but I have never once encountered a woman who did that!
Anyway, oops, I didn't mean to turn that into my own therapy session! I really just came to say I loved the article!

@sarahmh
Hello again Sarahmh:
For Neulasta pain, take Claritin ( NOT Claritin-D) .

Yes, the same Claritin that is available over the counter in any drug store. It's an antihistimine. It has helped prevent the terrible pain I used to have after Neulasta or other brand of pegfilgrastim, such as Udenyca.

My oncologist advised this and that was excellent advice! Take it before your timed Neulasta and for about 3 - 4 days after. Claritin is only taken once a day. It works by supressing the histimines in the pegfilgrastim. Best of luck to you!

@triciaot I stopped supporting Susan Komen Foundation years ago when I found out they were giving money donated for breast cancer research to Planned Parenthood and abortion foundations.!!!!!! What right did they have to do that? What else did they do with it, rather than have it go for BC research like the people donating it thought it did.

This is so good! Thank you so much for posting this. I have felt exactly the same way, and I'm thrilled to see this acknowledged on a public platform. Corporations absolutely exploit breast cancer "awareness" to make money. People who have no experience with breast cancer expect you to "fight" and "be positive" through some of the worst physical and emotional difficulties of your life. I find it disgusting that people believe if you just "fight" hard enough, you can "beat" breast cancer. To me, the implication is that those who don't survive just "gave in" or didn't try hard enough. I am not brave, I am not a warrior--I had no choice! I was diagnosed and I went through treatment. Heaven forbid if we dare "complain" about the horrible aching after a chemo treatment and Neulasta injection, if we are emotionally affected by losing our hair, if we're too exhausted to make dinner (you just sat in a chair all day getting your infusion, it's not like you ran a marathon). I will never forget this--I was talking to a friend after church, and she asked how I was feeling. I replied simply and truthfully, "tired." And a man who was with us told me, "Oh, but you have to stay positive!" My dear friend snapped back at him in my defense, and told him I'm the most positive person she knows; but that's not the point! I was tired, and positivity has nothing to do with that. Another good one: I had surgery, chemo, then 33 radiation treatments (which left me exhausted and my skin like blackened chicken). Shortly after, on a long walk with my now-ex-husband, I fell behind. He was irritated that I was slowing down, and I explained I still experienced pretty wicked fatigue from my treatment. He said, "Oh, from the cancer you don't even have anymore?" as if my fatigue should have disappeared the day I finished treatment. And then there's the unseen effects! My surgical scars have faded, my hair has grown back, my burnt skin has healed, but now I get Zoladex shots to suppress my ovaries and take an AI, so I have no estrogen left. And that causes fatigue, and brain fog, and makes it hard to lose weight, and I feel like I'm 110 years old when I'm 50. I've known a few women who were diagnosed after I'd been through all this, and I have told each of them that they are allowed to be upset, they are allowed to admit to their pain. They do not have to plaster on a fake smile, at least not with me. I think it's essential we have space to be authentic. No, it won't do any good to perpetually wallow in self-pity, but I have never once encountered a woman who did that!
Anyway, oops, I didn't mean to turn that into my own therapy session! I really just came to say I loved the article!

@sarahmh I am at the point of saying F-it all. I don’t want to have surgery, take pills to block estrogen (I have one hormone of estrogen remaining and I’m sure it’s on life support). I’m sick of biopsies, and the answers I’ve received are mostly from Dr Google. I believe I’d rather spend 6 months traveling and doing things I love - than reliving menopause and hot flashes. If this makes me “negative”
So? I’m tired of the
Pep talks and “you got this”. I’m going to be
70 soon. I’m wondering- has anyone else rethought going through treatment? Surgery, reconstructive surgery, radiation & follow ups? I have one dog that is 12, a Yorkie. Maybe it’s just me. I’m seriously considering just being done at this point.

@sarahmh I am at the point of saying F-it all. I don’t want to have surgery, take pills to block estrogen (I have one hormone of estrogen remaining and I’m sure it’s on life support). I’m sick of biopsies, and the answers I’ve received are mostly from Dr Google. I believe I’d rather spend 6 months traveling and doing things I love - than reliving menopause and hot flashes. If this makes me “negative”
So? I’m tired of the
Pep talks and “you got this”. I’m going to be
70 soon. I’m wondering- has anyone else rethought going through treatment? Surgery, reconstructive surgery, radiation & follow ups? I have one dog that is 12, a Yorkie. Maybe it’s just me. I’m seriously considering just being done at this point.

@sarahmh I am at the point of saying F-it all. I don’t want to have surgery, take pills to block estrogen (I have one hormone of estrogen remaining and I’m sure it’s on life support). I’m sick of biopsies, and the answers I’ve received are mostly from Dr Google. I believe I’d rather spend 6 months traveling and doing things I love - than reliving menopause and hot flashes. If this makes me “negative”
So? I’m tired of the
Pep talks and “you got this”. I’m going to be
70 soon. I’m wondering- has anyone else rethought going through treatment? Surgery, reconstructive surgery, radiation & follow ups? I have one dog that is 12, a Yorkie. Maybe it’s just me. I’m seriously considering just being done at this point.

@jlwilcox No. As annoying as it might be for you to hear this, I would tell you to not give up. Death is forever. Fight for your life. Your dog and you both have many good years ahead. I personally would not worry about the reconstruction surgery (I'm 72) & the radiation for me was nothing at all. I take a half-dose (10 mgs) of Tamoxifen which protects my bones. No side effects. It sucks to be sick, yes, but there's still a lot of life to live after treatment.