Taking Loved Ones from Memory Facility for a Holiday

An older friend of mine LOVED the songs of Englebert Humperdinck. In her final days in hospital while she was still communicative I tried playing her favourite music but she just looked confused and didn’t react to it.
The brain is a strange thing !!

If your hubby still enjoys a car ride, I would drive mine from Assistive Living to family's house, they would be out in the driveway, I would put down his window, they would come, greet him with joy, maybe 5-10 minutes, then hugs and waves good-bye. He did the best with these short visits, not requiring him to get up or hold conversation or listen to other people's conversation. I never took him to our home/our part of town, thought that would not be a nice thing to do where he can't come home.

I brought my husband (who has Parkinson’s and Lew body dementia) home for thanksgiving. He walked in with little reaction and greeted everyone. The only thing I would change is not to keep him so long. Two hours is about the max. After that he started getting anxious

I’m new here, my husband is still home, but it’s in the works, we just talked about it, at first he got pretty upset, and stormed out of the house, when he came back inside he’d settled down and he was able to talk about it. It was about the same when I said he shouldn’t drive anymore. We balled our eyes out, and he looked around the room and saw all of his things. I really hope I can bring him every thing he’d like for his new place to live.
I told him that I’ll be looking out the window here, and you’ll be looking out the window there. It’s pretty close to home, so I can visit often, what an adjustment!

Greetings. Can you tell me how or when you knew your husband should move to a care facility? Were you both involved in the decision, or was it up to you alone? Many of us will be facing the same thing, and it might help to learn about how others make this decision.

@nelms I’m still not exactly sure when I’ll have to bring him to the facility. But, when we went to a neurologist, our primary doctor suggested it, he asked questions of my husband, and it opened my eyes to the truth. Then we went back to see him again and he looked at me and said that I need to start planning things. I was sort of lost, not really sure what to do. So I met a man at the liquor store and I used to think he was crabby! But, I tried to make it a pleasant experience, I told him about my husband and he said that we should see a financial advisor, there’s one at our bank so I spoke to him and he was very helpful, he said the first thing I should do was put our savings into just my name. We got that done right away.
You have to think of yourself too!
Then I needed financial help through getting medical assistance, that took a lot of work and time for me, I’m a nervous person anyway, there’s a lot of things that are needed. I think it’s mostly so you can still pay your normal bills. House insurance and property taxes. A lot of things. They’ll send you information.
I hope that this isn’t too much, and I hope some of it helps someone else.
We have a son that lives with us, that’s helping a lot, so I went out with my sister for brunch the other day, and I had a feeling that things might not be good at home. I hate being right . He and my son had an argument and it was bad, he went outside and stewed for a bit, when he came inside he was much better. We had a very good conversation about how he’ll have to go into a memory care facility, but not yet, we cried and hugged. He went outside again and he came to terms with the idea. I think I’ll know when he needs to, I have a place I like, it’s not far from home, and it’s along the Mississippi River, he’ll like that. He and I love the outdoors so that’s going to be tough I’m sure. I’ll visit him as much as he wants, and we can walk over across the street to look out at the river. I’ll be very sad and lonely, it’s probably like a death. I hope it goes well.
He gave up being able to drive pretty easily, that helps!

If in the US, I’d strongly encourage a consult with an elder law attorney. The handling of marital assets can be crucial when qualifying for certain state and federal assistance programs. An attorney who focuses on that type of planning can recommend legal ways to plan protect your assets.