Regret: A decision made and I've lost purpose & motivation

Good points. I made mistakes 40 years ago and 70 years ago and 40 days ago.

Gotta go fix them (if practical) or just move on. The key word is MOVE. sitting still will get you covered in dust, mentally and physically.

I have a mail box at the road, about 50 yards away. Even on my worst days I make myself go that far.

On cold/wet days, I go to Walmart, using a cart for support, and walk the isles. I smile at people. Say ‘excuse me’ for anyone I bump into, and politely go around those getting stuff for other people with those huge - and irritating - carts as they frantically scan items and search got the next one (sure glad I never had one of those jobs).

I often find something although probably not needed. I give stuff away or donate.

I go to the bank and use the teller to get cash. The ATM is usable but I go into to engage with a LIVE person. They don’t seem to mind, thank goodness. I wish them a pleasant day and they do the same.

Smile.

Dont be a grouch.

Say ‘hello’.

Wish people a good day.

If they say nothing don’t let it bother you. It’s their problem. Don’t make it yours.

KEEP GOING. TRY IT WITH THE NEXT PERSON.

However, remain cautious. Going out does have its risks. Parking lots are dangerous places. Other people are in a hurry, meeting work or family schedules. Let them go first, and SMILE as they pass and look again to see if there is another driver in a hurry coming from the other direction. There often is.

Don’t go in the dark. Use your head. We are old people and there are some who may try to use their youth and strength against us. Don’t give them the opportunity.

Don’t put ALL the important stuff about you in one container (purse, wallet). If it goes away have something left to get home.

I rarely make left hand turns without a green arrow. I adjust my route, including to the drug store, to use them. It takes longer but getting there and returning safely is important. My driving skills have deteriorated some.

We’re old but not inept.

Get up.

Do something.

Check the mail.

Nothing there? Congratulations. Checking is an accomplishment. Getting something was second most important.

Check again tomorrow, even if it’s a Federal holiday because getting any mail is not the important part. Getting up is.

I’m 78-years-old and struggle with rethinking past mistakes. Honestly, most people do. What helped me was joining a grief group that grew into a support group with other women who learned each other’s darkest secrets and felt safe to share. I was suffering with suicide ideation and being able to discuss it was immensely helpful. The old saying: We are only as sick as our secrets, is very true. It takes guts to open up.
I hope this helps you in some way❤️ I wish you the very best.

@kdpennin Thanks for sharing. My worst time for rehashing past decision is duuring the night when I cannot sleep... and not only why I did or said things is one side of the coin; the other side is why did that person say or so those things to me and I didnt speak up! I know we cannot go back even one minute in time.. but I suppose it is some form/level of PTSD

We are all human. We all make mistakes and have done stupid, embarrassing, shameful, and hurtful things in our life. While I have no idea what you did 40 years ago that is still causing you pain, I assume that it is pretty horrendous. My own shameful acts are within my last couple decades. My only advice is to find something that can reverse the harm. Not against the person(s) that you may have harmed (if that was it) since that may cause criminal or civil liabilities or may only open old pain for others, but in a karmic sense. Look for others that you can help and ease their similar pain. Put some good out there to balance the bad that you may have caused. Actually finding and working to do something can give you purpose and motivation. Good luck. Just remember the old saying that we are all villains in someone's story. All you can do is work to be the hero in someone's story.

Good points. I made mistakes 40 years ago and 70 years ago and 40 days ago.

Gotta go fix them (if practical) or just move on. The key word is MOVE. sitting still will get you covered in dust, mentally and physically.

I have a mail box at the road, about 50 yards away. Even on my worst days I make myself go that far.

On cold/wet days, I go to Walmart, using a cart for support, and walk the isles. I smile at people. Say ‘excuse me’ for anyone I bump into, and politely go around those getting stuff for other people with those huge - and irritating - carts as they frantically scan items and search got the next one (sure glad I never had one of those jobs).

I often find something although probably not needed. I give stuff away or donate.

I go to the bank and use the teller to get cash. The ATM is usable but I go into to engage with a LIVE person. They don’t seem to mind, thank goodness. I wish them a pleasant day and they do the same.

Smile.

Dont be a grouch.

Say ‘hello’.

Wish people a good day.

If they say nothing don’t let it bother you. It’s their problem. Don’t make it yours.

KEEP GOING. TRY IT WITH THE NEXT PERSON.

However, remain cautious. Going out does have its risks. Parking lots are dangerous places. Other people are in a hurry, meeting work or family schedules. Let them go first, and SMILE as they pass and look again to see if there is another driver in a hurry coming from the other direction. There often is.

Don’t go in the dark. Use your head. We are old people and there are some who may try to use their youth and strength against us. Don’t give them the opportunity.

Don’t put ALL the important stuff about you in one container (purse, wallet). If it goes away have something left to get home.

I rarely make left hand turns without a green arrow. I adjust my route, including to the drug store, to use them. It takes longer but getting there and returning safely is important. My driving skills have deteriorated some.

We’re old but not inept.

Get up.

Do something.

Check the mail.

Nothing there? Congratulations. Checking is an accomplishment. Getting something was second most important.

Check again tomorrow, even if it’s a Federal holiday because getting any mail is not the important part. Getting up is.

Of all the things i’ve been called, it’s never been Canadian!

😉

@dhabeger I said you sound so Canadian - whether you are in fact Canadian or not. 😀 Canadians are known to be polite (they even apologize when someone bumps into them, lol), smile at people, hold doors open when they see someone heading toward one, etc. And senior Canadians prefer in person banking instead of going to the ATM or going online and shopping in actual stores, because they like the human interaction.

In other words … you sound just like me, and I am Canadian! ☺️