Self-Preservation Tips?

First, thank you for the lovely photos.

Next, as luck would have it, I was at my monthly stroke group meeting, and today's topic was care for caregivers.

The salient points:
Good intentions aside, it's vital that you not sacrifice your own life. (Would you want your child to die caring for you?)
It is not selfish to take care of yourself, so don't feel guilty doing so.
It's also okay to ask for help, and just as okay to accept it when offered.
There are resources available for tasks large and small, from help with housework and meal prep to full-time care. Use whatever you can afford or arrange.

There's more, of course.
When I had a disabling stroke, my wife became my primary, secondary, and tertiary caregiver. I strive to help as much as I can, in as many ways as I can. But my case is different, since I am slowly improving.
My YouTube channel about my recovery journey is here:
https://m.youtube.com/@srlucado/videos
Be safe, take care of yourself, and may God aid you along the way.

@scottrl Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. It means a lot to me, especially hearing from someone who is on the other side of the situation. It’s hard to find the balance in all of this, but I know you are right that there are resources and it’s ok to ask for help. I’m struggling mentally especially since feeling unwell myself.
I’m so glad you are recovering and you are under loving care. I know that attitude and faith play a large role in the recovery process. I need to let go and have more faith rather than stay in a fear anxious mode. I admire your strength and commitment to getting well and I wish you and your loved ones the best as you progress on your journey to a full recovery. I’m going to visit Youtube channel- Thank You!
❤️✨Here are a few more photos- winter-

@gratia You really have an eye for photography. Keep up the great work!

Hi:
I will share a few tips from a dementia class I just took:
-seek support from others (a no-brainer)
-explore resources (e.g., ADRC)
-attend a Memory Café (maybe only available in larger towns)
-respite/preventative maintenance for you (for the long haul, since this is a marathon not a sprint, do things for yourself over time)
-keep educating yourself about dementia so you can adapt to her behaviors
-move toward acceptance of the changes in your relationship (now you may be more of the mom in the relationship, making important decisions on her behalf)
-be proactive with legal and financial planning
-let go of any guilt, make space for grief (this is hard)
-aim for presence over perfection (you showed up, you are caregiving, you are human)
- develop positive messages for yourself as a boost when there are challenges
- choose grace over guilt

All the best to you, and hugs. 🫂

@judimahoney thank you Judi, for sharing this info. I really appreciate it.✨🤗

Your feelings are normal and they are valid. Anger is often a big part of it, as well as sadness and hopelessness. I hope your sister is sharing this caregiving burden (while it may be a labor of love, it is also a burden) with you. You need time away to do things for yourself. This is a support group. You can vent, rant or express your feelings any way you want to. Guilt is not allowed. Do explore community resources for elderly and/or dementia patients. You cannot do this alone without getting burned out. Hugs 🤗🤗🤗

@wctdoc1943 I appreciate your comment, it means a lot to me. Thank you so much. I’m just having an extra hard time since I’m also not feeling 100% physically, and it’s all feeling so very precarious.

@gratia You metioned not having insurance. I'm one of those people who believe healthcare is a right and it is a travesty that you are uninsured. I don't want to get political (does anyone?), but this is WRONG. Do not neglect your own needs. I'm so sorry.

Yes, unfortunately, due to my travel back-and-forth to care for my mother, I lost my job and with that my health insurance. I’m still a resident out of state, and I can’t seem to find any sort of safety net here. I’ve been searching for free clinic options, but was just told that if needed, I should go to ER, because the local clinic doesn’t have appointments available until June! Believe me, I even tried CVS MinuteClinic, which I’ve used in LA in urgent situations. However, they don’t offer MinuteClinic at the local CVS in this area. Go figure.
I’ve always taken good care of myself, but this situation is taking a great toll, and it makes me realize how many people are struggling & falling through the cracks due to the healthcare/lack of, & the insurance gouging in this country. It is a major political greed issue and it’s very concerning. On top of the rest of that mess.
Again, thank you so much for the communication. It helps. Trust me. I feel like I’m living in some kind of a strange limbo.

You are obviously doing one thing very well in taking care of yourself - your photography!
Your winter scenes are really lovely. I will try to use the one with the water in the background for inspiration for a watercolor painting. If it turns out presentable, I’ll share it!
I have some of the same feelings that torment me that you do. I’m going to physically pay for not getting enough rest - but I am doing the best I can.
I did make the decision to have caregivers come in a few hours a week prior to my husband’s decline, and I’m glad I did - I think it would be harder now to get him to agree to have other people around. When they aren’t here, it’s is absolutely soul and bone marrow draining, It is relentless. I think sometimes I am so tired I can’t even sleep.
Whew, breathe deep, and please understand you are part of a sorority that none of us wanted to join but we can support one another. Peace, Cheryl