How do I add aging issues to a life I have never been happy in?

....I sympathyze with you,. One thing I did most of my life which I kept to myself... always compared myself to others; taller, smarter, prettier etc. Two realatives of different ages ... one doesnt wear her teeth as they hurt and the other, much younger, chose not to wear any! Thing is, for a long time I didnt realize she didnt have any because I suppose I listened to her rather than watch her moth, and she is quite comfortable with it. When younger I used to not appear greedy to myself - but could I please be prettier or taller! Now older and ill and rarely go out, it doesnt bother me but I do agree that feeling this way Plus ageing is a lot to cope with. Over the years I have met some horrible people with perfect teeth and are healthy! Go figure! Take care, J.

Hi Grasping,
I'm so sorry you feel that you aren't attractive. That's a sad situation to have. However, you sound like a very nice friendly attractive person! I wouldn't be surprised if other people find you that way and don't feel you are unattractive at all! We all have something about us physically that we don't like. Society has taught us that we have to be beautiful or not be accepted by others. So as a result there are a lot of beautiful, mean people out there because they don't care about others just themselves.

I hope your implants fit well and feel good. That in itself will make your face look wonderful! Plus you will be able to eat healthy again and that helps!

Don't worry about aging. Just put on some makeup and sparkly earrings and a freindly smile! You will look ten years younger and feel better about yourself. What is inside our hearts is much more important than what the outside looks like.

Ask God for help. He's always there for us. I'll say a prayer for you also.
I wish you the best.
PML

Get a face lift. Expensive but if it makes you feel better, probably
worth it....but do wait until your teeth are in as you may be happy with
the results.

I wonder if our parents felt like we do when they were aging, our world is cold and superficial with too much emphasis on outer beauty instead of inner beauty, even our young people are feeling too much pressure about how they look. When I watch the shows on television it makes me feel bad, everyone is beautiful and this impacts them to think that they are not attractive. Another issue that I have as a senior is how we’re being treated by other people, they have no interest in what you have to say and they sometimes make me feel uncomfortable, God help you if you’re still looking for a relationship because frankly older men are not interested in older women, as females we are more forgiving to men and all their flaws but not the other way around.

I have had a mini facelift, looks horrible. As I keep learning how to be disappointed in life, I realized cosmetic surgery is another scam, just a way to make money at the expense of others. If you decide to go for a facelift keep in mind you can do nothing if things go wrong.

@frouke
Yes, I totally agree. Life continues to make me wonder why I had to be born. No joy found.

So sad to read these stories ! My heart goes out to you…true, age can change our appearance and health issues happen….some things we can’t change… but we can cultivate a rich inner and spiritual life and share that with others…forget our societal ‘’norms’’, they really are not what define us…how we see things can put us ‘’in the driver’s seat’’ with our own life…wishing all elders better days .

I am reading these posts with a great deal of sadness and empathy. I felt desperate for answers at a time in my life (about 18 years ago) when it seemed like my problems were overwhelming. I had loved ones who suffered from addictions, and my life seemed to revolve around "helping" them out of their problems and crisis. As a result, I felt I lived in a state of continuous turmoil and my self-esteem suffered. Fortunately, I found a 12 step program (Al-Anon) that has helped me immensely. I've found a fellowship of people who love me in a special way, just like I love them (although we may not all like each other). We share our experience, strength, and hope and encourage each other when we're down. When I'm feeling particularly bad about myself, I use the tools of the program (e.g. acceptance, a gratitude practice, my daily readings, my higher power, and regular meetings) to guide me toward a more positive outlook. Today I live in genuine peace, have a better relationship with my loved ones, and I mostly look forward to each day. As I'm aging, I too am not always pleased with the physical changes, but I'm so grateful to have an opportunity for continued spiritual, intellectual, and emotional growth that it seems like a fine trade-off.

I know that Al-Anon isn't for everyone, but I hope you find something like it to help you. I believe we all deserve to live a serene and joyful life, no matter our age or circumstances. The trick is finding it for ourselves, and we may find help through the support of others facing the same challenges.

Bless everyone here who has written. God loves each of you, and I bet most people would think lots more of you than your opinion of yourself. It’s the heart and its feelings that count.

@grasping God had a reason for you to be born, and you are still here, so . . .You are important, no matter what you think !