What things change with an Alzheimer’s diagnosis?

Once they are diagnosed with Alzheimer's they cannot drive. If a neurologist knows they are driving they can turn them into the DMV.

One of the most difficult things for my husband is his not being able to drive. It has caused a lot of strife.

@katrina123 I cannot imagine how that will affect my husband if and when that happens. It certainly shrinks people’s worlds.
My heart goes out to you as you navigate that transition. I’m sure it is a daily struggle, at least for awhile…as he may not remember he shouldn’t drive. Hugs.

@katrina123 Once he's diagnosed with dementia, I would agree he shouldn't drive. But the laws vary by state as to whether a doctor would notify the state. I would suggest that you contact an elder care attorney to decide what other steps might be necessary to protect your estate in the event you become incapacitated or die before he does. For example, my husband voluntarily relinquished his role as a co-trustee of our estate. Our daughter now has DPOA if I die, and our son has health care power of attorney in the same instance.

My husband's neurologist told us that when he could no longer draw the clock with designated time (10 past 11, I think) it was time to stop driving. My husband gave it up easily. He was relieved.
I was determined for him to keep driving as long as he could, after the Alzheimer's Diagnosis. In retrospect, I think that was foolish. I had to watch him like a hawk. If he had had an accident, I doubt our insurance would have covered it.
Now he can't remember why he stopped driving and I tell him he failed the test. He accepts it and loves to be the passenger. He's a front seat driver now, always telling me what to do.

@2me Dementia shrinks the world, not lack of driving. It's hard, but don't focus on driving. Focus on the potential that he could get lost, get hurt in an accident and seriously hurt others. Uber exists and is very doable.

@tsc interesting about not being to draw the clock. My husband has scored 13 out of 30 on the MOCHA test and the neurologist he likes said he can continue to drive. He only drives around our small town and I am never the passenger when we are in the car together. He was the driver on long trips for over 42 years of our relationship, but seems to accept his new seat in the car okay. He is a great front seat driver and tends to hold onto the door handle often I am hoping the doctor at Mayo suggests his driving days are over.

Hi 2me,
This is a great question. Here are a few thoughts about what you should consider changing with the diagnosis. The progression may be very slow or may be quite fast. It is good to avoid regrets by doing some of these things sooner, rather than later.

1. "Affairs in Order" Medical Directives. In addition to the wills and POA, consider Dementia/Alzheimer's-specific medical directives. Here are some that we used. There may be others as several that have been developed by responsible and knowledgable entities. I was not allowed to post the urls. but you can google
These are tough topics to face, but it is important to understand and codify these things while the person with the condition is capable of understanding and choosing what they want.

2. "Affairs in Order" Digital and physical information Assets. Now is the time to do a full inventory of passwords, account numbers, key documents, etc., how bills are paid. Put the info in secure places and, if appropriate, let key people (attorney, children, others) know where they are or include them in legal documents.

3. "Affairs in Order": Change the Name of "account holder. Where possible, change the name and contact info to the name of the person not afflicted. You could be shut out of key accounts at some point.

4. Living situation. Start assessing your living situation: Is it right for the long term? You don't need to try to foresee the future in detail. Just think in broad strokes. Some couples may have a large mortgage and suddenly be facing the fact that the spouse can no longer work: Is it time to downsize? Some people have many stairs in their home and face a diagnosis that suggests that the person will have mobility issues: What will be alternatives for dealing with that? This may sound depressing. It can be daunting, but like everything about living with this disease area, it is all about your attitude. Opening your mind to these things will make you feel more in control rather than a victim of circumstances. It will also ensure that you and your spouse can avoid problems and, instead focus on living your best lives.

5. You: Assess how you want to live your life in light of the diagnosis. This can range from dropping all your other obligations in order to devote yourself to the care of your spouse, to continuing to pursue your life/work much as you do now and using caregivers or other resources to meet the needs of your partner. There are clearly many points in between those two options and your choice may shift over time. But it is good to start now to think very intentionally about this so that you can start thinking about what that choice means and what resources you need to implement it. Of course, your spouse's needs and preferences will be important to consider. There will be trade offs to be made. For example, spouses who refuse to accept outside caregivers, are not realistic, and your finances may not permit exactly the kind of care that you have in mind.

Once again, you do not need to try to foresee all that is to come, but starting to think about how your life can be fulfilling while your spouse's emotional and physical needs are met is important.

5. You: Your health. It is time to get very serious about taking care of your health.

6. Medical Team. Most people have a Primary Care Physician, one or more Specialists based on past or current medical needs and may add a Neurologist. I recommend adding a Gerontologist. These doctors have a better understanding of how to manage the mix of issues that are to come when someone has Alzheimer’s/dementia. They can be excellent quarterbacks as you make this journey. I would also recommend finding one or more good Physical therapists as they can be very helpful in maintaining mobility and good posture, among other things.

Every one of us will be ultimately be afflicted with some disease. We, on this site, just have a more specific idea of the nature and timing of the end of life of our Person. There is nothing gained by focusing on the tragedy of this on a day to day basis. Rather, we can do what everyone says they want to do "Live each day fully", savoring the joys more completely and making positive changes in our lives because we know those are changes that we should not put off. My husband and I have been on the journey 15 years and I can say that they have been wonderful years.

All the best to you.

@memoriestomoments I can't begin to thank you enough for sending this extremely valuable post. I've been wracking my brain every day to determine what I'm doing, how I'm going to do it, and what's to come while I'm now confronted with my husband's MCI diagnosis in 2025. You give me hope when you say you've been on a 15 year journey. If I have 15 more years with my wonderful man, which will put us at 92 years old, I'll be the fortunate one.
Thank you for your note with "affairs in order." I'm already into assessing my living situation and determining work life balance with caregiving.
And yes, my own health became even more paramount, in what's been taking place. Thank you, so much. This site, and the wonderful people willing to share are so wonderful - and invaluable.