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Early possible dementia
Hello,
I’m trying to figure out if my mom has early signs of dementia or simply age related issues. She is 79, seems to be very sharp for her age, still works two days a week part time, but while she was driving home, she texted me.
I was on the phone at the time, but once I called her, I saw she texted she was on the way home and immediately after she said “I may be driving into it”
When i called her, she asked if it was storming out and I said no. She said that I had texted her and told her it was storming. I checked my phone, I checked her phone when she got home and there was no such text. I asked her about it and she shrugged it off. Bothering me still, I asked her about it, she didn’t want to talk about it and said “it’s a mystery”.
A few years ago I was worried about her memory, her not remembering movies we watched. I chalked it up to old age. Recently, we were going to sell our house we own together and downsize, but she became frustrated with understanding numbers. She also told me about some mailings we had in the mail for life insurance she wanted to look into. It was junk mail and she was sure it wasn’t. She has also hidden some financial decisions from me (we co-own together) and is also very paranoid about our neighbors, who she has called the HOA on and has had me put security cameras up on to our house.
This all sounds like a lot, but she still works and acts normal, has normal conversations, and my brothers don’t see anything wrong.
She eats dinner two hours earlier and goes to sleep earlier. She gets upset easily if it isn’t something she likes to hear and puts her hands over her ears.
Again, she acts normal otherwise. I take care of her and no one else sees this.
Should I be concerned of early dementia or simply age related issues?
Thank you!
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@judimahoney I will look now. Thank you! My problem is, whenever she has a concern, I wonder if I am going crazy analyzing her. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt of what she is talking about or what she is seeing or hearing. I have to investigate her issues, so I know what she is experiencing is real. Does this make sense? I don't want to just assume she has dementia. It's a lot.
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3 Reactions@tiffanyhope12 , I see. Often, it helps if possible, to stay with the person for several days to observe what is really happening. And, to talk to neighbors and friends who may be concerned, but don’t know what to do. I found that my cousin had a bandaid on a toe she hadn’t removed in months! And, that she had lots of expired food in the fridge. Her laundry had piled up because she wasn’t able to use the washing machine. She no longer watched her favorite tv shows, because she couldn’t follow the dialogue. Her neighbors told me she got confused in her car and couldn’t figure out how to get out 1 day. I found piles of mail she hadn’t opened. So, there’s a lot you might discover by observing day to day activities that can help the doctor. Some cognitive decline is more subtle. Her self reporting informed might not be accurate. And a UTI might not be obvious except for odd behavior.
My cousin was young, so I wanted a diagnosis from a neurologist in addition to a primary.
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2 Reactions@celia16 My mom is paranoid about one neighbor. She is actually obsessed with them. Long story. Last night, she brought up issues with them, and I told her to just let it go. She got super upset with me. She used to report them the HOA and the HOA told them it was her (from what she said). Now she scans our outside cameras because she is worried about retaliation.
I reached out to someone at her work, who I have known since age 7, and she said my mom was doing really well. This person is in another state and doesn't work with my mom. But my mom is working two days a week at age 79. She seems to be doing great. It gets her out of the house. But it's just her and her boss. Her boss is busy. and my mom does basic tasks. I wanted to reach out to her boss, but I don't want to break that barrier of trust. I think what I am going to do is talk to her doctor when we go in February with her.
I'm so sorry about your cousin. What your cousin went through are major signs in failing cognitively. I'm glad you shared the experience. I'm glad you were there for her. My mom isn't near that stage - yet.
Everyone keeps saying a UTI, but she drinks a lot of water and doesn't seem to have signs of it.
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2 ReactionsYour mom’s ability to work will be the last thing to go. It’s an old, ingrained behavior.
I describe what my husband has as “holes in the brain”. Little things are not right; he forgets how to do something or forgets words or events, but can do other things as if he were “normal”. Nothing seems to happen with dementias in an orderly fashion.
It’s too hard to describe to doctors anymore and I am weary of fighting the inevitable or getting a doctor to validate what I already know.
I do find myself on a constant high alert mode, to be aware and ready for the next blindside; those are inevitable as well.
I am so sorry you are having to go through this, but it does sound like you are somewhat in financial control. I am not. I married a divorced man that doesn’t trust himself with sharing money. I own half of everything, but I am not on his bank accounts. It’s very disconcerting. I do have a durable POA, it was the only way I agreed to stay and take care of him once we got the initial diagnosis of “maybe FTD, maybe LBD, we have to wait and see.”
That was six years ago. I see changes, he still struggles and asks for help.
It’s so unpredictable.
I took notes of my early observations, then I had a clerk send them to the neurologist just before our appointment. She read them before the appointment and actually mentioned them during the appointment. That was embarrassing, but the notes were useful in diagnosing him.
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3 Reactions@tiffanyhope12 , cognitive decline varies on how it presents itself. Your mom definitely sounds like something is going on.
For some, memory remains while they have obsessions, delusions, or personality changes. Years before my cousin was diagnosed she exhibited some odd behavior that I didn’t pick up on…..such as insisting on wearing winter clothes in the summer. (She was always a hot person who hated sweaters). She became obsessed with her cat and was afraid it would escape from her house through a crevice the size of a pea. She thought some people disliked her for no apparent reason. It was years before more pronounced symptoms emerged.
My dad had Alz and it was very slow in its progression.
A UTI often has no signs of pain, infection or frequent urination. The only sign can be acting odd.
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