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Early possible dementia
Hello,
I’m trying to figure out if my mom has early signs of dementia or simply age related issues. She is 79, seems to be very sharp for her age, still works two days a week part time, but while she was driving home, she texted me.
I was on the phone at the time, but once I called her, I saw she texted she was on the way home and immediately after she said “I may be driving into it”
When i called her, she asked if it was storming out and I said no. She said that I had texted her and told her it was storming. I checked my phone, I checked her phone when she got home and there was no such text. I asked her about it and she shrugged it off. Bothering me still, I asked her about it, she didn’t want to talk about it and said “it’s a mystery”.
A few years ago I was worried about her memory, her not remembering movies we watched. I chalked it up to old age. Recently, we were going to sell our house we own together and downsize, but she became frustrated with understanding numbers. She also told me about some mailings we had in the mail for life insurance she wanted to look into. It was junk mail and she was sure it wasn’t. She has also hidden some financial decisions from me (we co-own together) and is also very paranoid about our neighbors, who she has called the HOA on and has had me put security cameras up on to our house.
This all sounds like a lot, but she still works and acts normal, has normal conversations, and my brothers don’t see anything wrong.
She eats dinner two hours earlier and goes to sleep earlier. She gets upset easily if it isn’t something she likes to hear and puts her hands over her ears.
Again, she acts normal otherwise. I take care of her and no one else sees this.
Should I be concerned of early dementia or simply age related issues?
Thank you!
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tiffanyhope12 The only advise I can give that helped me was to "journal" her actions, responses, concerns, etc ( with dates), so her doctor can get a good idea of what's going on with your mom. My husband was only 59 when I was seeing changes, so I could rule out that it was probably not age related but still needed to know what was happening. I'm sorry your brothers don't see that something is happening, and it could be denial, which is perfectly normal in my opinion because we want to think it's nothing more that aging. But getting a diagnosis, and testing will help you with how you move forward and get the help you AND her need. I hope you will be able to see a doctor soon and get some answers.
Strength, Peace, Love and Hugs to you
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4 ReactionsWill your mom agreed to go to a doctor for an evaluation?
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1 Reaction@laura1970
I just took my mom to a doctor appointment for her ear. She keeps saying she has an ear infection, but they she didn’t. They flushed her ear 3 days ago and today she said she has an ear infection again.
I asked her to make another appointment and she said no. I took off work to take her to the last appointment, but I wasn’t able to get the doctor alone.
She said she will make another appointment and I said I’d go. I’ll try and get the doctor alone this time.
I haven’t expressed my concerns to her regarding dementia.
@agh Sorry it took me this long to reply. I was trying to figure out if the issue was aging vs early dementia. The problem is, our lawyer is someone my mom used to work for and still works for one or two days a week, as an assistant. My mom used to be a Legal Secretary but works part time to get out of the house. She does very basic things, such as taking the mail to the post office or sitting in for signings. I reached out to another co-worker about my issues, and she said she seems to be doing fine, but this co-worker doesn't work directly with my mom anymore; she works remote. I thought about reaching out to our attorney, but I don't want her to tell my mom my concerns. She is closer to my mom than I am. In fact, I do not really know her well.
I haven't posted in a while, but I have a list of concerns still. Again, not sure if it's aging vs dementia. My brothers don't see it/know what to do when I tell them, because they aren't close by. I have journal entries of things that happen and I just don't know who to talk to about this.
My mom told me she has a dr. appt in February, but she didn't give me an exact date - yet. I am working on it.
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2 Reactions@laura1970 I asked her last week when her appointment was and she said, "sometime in February". I am not sure if she has an appointment or if she doesn't want to go. I am trying to find out so I can call them before the appointment and express my concerns. I am POA, so am trying to go with her.
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2 Reactions@tiffanyhope12 I have not expressed my concerns regarding dementia to her. She has had some questionable things happen and when I question her on it, she says "it's a mystery".
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1 ReactionI think age related is an old fashioned term. There are 90 year olds who are sharp as a tack. Your mom is showing signs of not being focused on reality. A medical appointment is crucial to rule out something simple like a UTI, etc. Journal everything you see and show it to the doctor. Monitor her fluid intake.
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3 Reactions@tiffanyhope12 , is your primary concern having a doctor diagnose her with cognitive decline or dementia? While getting that confirmed has some value, often it doesn’t bring the help we think it will. The reason is that if it’s true, their reasoning is impaired as is judgment and memory. So, they often will not accept the diagnosis. Or, they can’t process it. Or, they keep forgetting about it. I thought that getting my cousin diagnosed would be ideal. But, she couldn’t remember it. It wasn’t like the patient will say oh, ok, so that’s my problem. Now I’m going to do better and make better decisions. It often makes no difference to the patient, except it might help her qualify for services like Memory Care and to get on meds for dementia. My dad took two that helped him a great deal. NOW there are new meds for ALZ, so you could explore that treatment if that’s what she has. To me that option is NOW the best reason for diagnosis. There are some posts around here about those latest injection treatments.
Can you send her doctor a note to check for UTI, med side effects, etc?
Good luck with everything!
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4 Reactions@tiffanyhope12
Hi, I watched expert Teepa Snow's video regarding normal aging vs. dementia. Hope you can find that online.
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2 Reactions@celia16 Your post was very beneficial. I think my main concern is to determine if it's old age vs. dementia. If it's dementia, I would like to get her the treatment she needs. Like you said, there is medication out there that will help. But I don't want to tell her I am concerned about it (for her) and freak her out. I just asked her again when her appointment was and she told me 2/6. I told her I was going to go with her and she didn't ask why, which is good. I will try and reach out to them. She sent me the contact card. I will reach out to them before the appointment. She doesn't seem to have a UTI that she complains about. She had ear issues, but that concern for her has gone away. She has taken the same medication for years, nothing new, but I will ask.
Thank you for the help!
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4 Reactions