What if others say they're afraid you'll have a seizure?

Posted by Dan Noyes @dannoyes, Jan 13 12:30pm

A friend recently came to town and he wanted to get together for lunch. On the way to the restaurant, he looked at me with trepidation and asked, "What do I do if you have a seizure?" Many of us are so used to epilepsy we don't even think twice about what it must be like for our family and friends to be with us. During the holidays, I once again saw some of my family giving me some distance, especially while I had a mini-absence seizure at Costco (not convulsive, but...well, you know). I'd love to know how you have handled this, especially getting together with people you haven't seen in ages.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Epilepsy & Seizures Support Group.

Profile picture for Randy Shields @randallshields56

@marianne72 last comment tonight. your healing and improving. its taken me more than a year to get this far but im thankful for the journey and if anyone of your family has a question ill gladly respond to an email or chat here in the group. the mind has a remarkable way of healing. mot just brainwaves but the body. just have to believe and fight for what you want. Thank you so much 💓

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@randallshields56 I appreciate your wisdom and encouragement, Randy. Thank you. It’s an unusual perspective to be grateful for the hard journeys but I believe it’s a right way. We have life today! With healing and hope. ❤️‍🩹 Grateful for your presence!

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It's ok to be afraid....sometimes I'm afraid that I'll have a seizure. Joseph

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Profile picture for royanthony @royanthony

@randallshields56 Correct, Dan, Randy. You'll know who your true friends are. I learned I had only 3 friends, out of about 15 with whom I routinely associated. I now know them as past casual acquaintances.

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@royanthony doesn't it feel like this is when we realize who are our real friends.

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Profile picture for Randy Shields @randallshields56

@marianne72 last comment tonight. your healing and improving. its taken me more than a year to get this far but im thankful for the journey and if anyone of your family has a question ill gladly respond to an email or chat here in the group. the mind has a remarkable way of healing. mot just brainwaves but the body. just have to believe and fight for what you want. Thank you so much 💓

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I appreciate the hug. i was just told by my caregiver that something i see
as odd and maybe not good, can in her opinion be me healing and not seeing
it through her eyes. I have to remind myself regularly that it can be
another matter on its own. here is hoping you have a great day today.

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Profile picture for marianne72 @marianne72

@randallshields56 I appreciate your wisdom and encouragement, Randy. Thank you. It’s an unusual perspective to be grateful for the hard journeys but I believe it’s a right way. We have life today! With healing and hope. ❤️‍🩹 Grateful for your presence!

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some day what comes out of our conversations truly makes me feel whole and
wanting more from your side of the fence, to know more about you. your
comments make me feel a little more whole at the end of the day. Thank
you.😌

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Profile picture for Randy Shields @randallshields56

@methel thank you for your post, yes i have watched a few videos and my daughter checks often for new information because or her health issues and possibly one day a grand seizure. they can be scary and her wife has studied long hours to help us both in times of need. spreading the word helps so that others can help when out and about. just like so many things that can go wrong, there is classes or multiple web sites you can visit and getting better every year. best we can do is to give who are worried, places on the web to check or videos or numbers to call. try to put their minds at ease. hope this helped.

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Thank you.😊

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@dannoyes
Hi Dan,
You've touched on something really important here.
The first time I had a tonic-clonic seizure—until then, I'd only experienced focal seizures, which remain my most frequent type—I was at home with my husband. He knew exactly what to do, but later told me how distressed he felt watching it happen.
If my husband, who lives with me and understands my condition, felt that way, imagine what it's like for people who barely know about epilepsy, have never witnessed a seizure, or don't know how to help.
That experience made me reflect on how I approach this.
I started by telling close friends about my epilepsy—and thankfully, most embraced me. Later, I informed people I see regularly: my Pilates teacher, hairdresser, neighbors. I kept it simple: "If I have a seizure, call my husband."
But when I had my first complex focal seizure during Pilates and my teacher couldn't reach my husband right away, I realized this wasn't enough. I needed to provide clearer guidance in case of a seizure. I also started wearing a medical alert bracelet, though the information on it is still fairly limited.
But how do I deal with this with friends I haven't seen in a while, or with strangers?
I confess I am still thinking that through. Recently, I heard about a solution that might help some of you. Someone I know who has mostly complex focal seizures recently shared that he carries business-sized cards with his condition and what to do during a seizure. When he feels one starting, he hands the card to whoever's nearby. Of course, this only works for seizures with auras—not everyone has that warning.
Some friends have suggested putting this information on the back of my phone since it's always with me. I'm still thinking about it.
What's worked for you when a seizure happens around strangers or people you don't know well? I'd love to hear how you've been dealing with this.
Chris

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Profile picture for methel @methel

@marianne72

I have been really lucky, I guess, because my kids who are local have seen me with a seizure and treat them as “ this is just what mom does”. ( It makes you wonder what other things I do they think are odd. ) I once electrified my church group with a generalized seizure, but the retired RN recognized it and knew how to handle it.
The epilepsy foundation has a video on their website showing you what to do for someone with a seizure. If you know someone who says they are worried about this, tell them to look for that video.

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@methel
Thank you for sharing that video resource from the Epilepsy Foundation!
Your post prompted me to look at their first aid videos, and I found several helpful ones:
- An Overview of Epilepsy and Seizure First Aid (covers both focal and generalized seizures)


- Seizure First Aid (focuses on generalized seizures)

- First Aid for Seizures (covers both focal and generalized seizures)

Was one of these the video you mentioned?
For anyone interested, the Epilepsy Foundation offers free Seizure First Aid Training with online classes. I learned a lot from it! Here's more information: https://www.epilepsy.com/recognition/first-aid-resources
Chris

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Profile picture for marianne72 @marianne72

Thanks for the discussion. It helps me think of possible scripts I could use in the future. Biggest challenge I face now is family members in the house who live on pins and needles thinking I’ll have a seizure any minute. This, despite assurances and much improved stabilization after starting meds six weeks ago.

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@marianne72
Welcome to our group at Mayo Clinic Connect! I'm glad you found us, and I hope you'll find the support you're looking for here.
If I'm understanding correctly, you were diagnosed with epilepsy fairly recently. What you're experiencing with your family constantly watching and worrying that a seizure might happen at any moment is very common early on. I went through the same thing. But as time passes and your seizures become better controlled, that intense vigilance tends to ease.
Would you mind sharing what type of seizures you've been having?
Chris

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Profile picture for methel @methel

@randallshields56

Epilepsy has a long history of being stigmatized and misunderstood. And some people I think don’t want to deal with the disease because of the stigma involved instead of the straightforward medical issues. This can be hard for those of us with epilepsy to deal with.

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@methel Television and movies to the best stigmatization. Typically, they are the tonic clonic type. Many people think that epilepsy is contagious. 3 locations in the Bible refer to Jesus casting out evil from a few boys. In one location, what the boy was experiencing is notably similar to the Tonic Clonic type. Jesus cured him too.

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