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Newly & Nearly bedridden, This is hard
In the past 6 weeks, Mom went from using a walker to being in a wheelchair to barely getting out of bed. Yesterday, I put a cold cloth on her head while she puked after staying in bed all day and not eating. This morning she fell out of bed but didn't get hurt.
She's in a memory unit and on hospice. The decline seems to be accelerating. I miss her and my heart hurts. She has been sleeping more and more while eating less and less. It's now hard for her sitting up for more than a few minutes. But, tomorrow, she might be able to walk some.
Although she can't recall the past 30 years, I mentioned the Big Red Storybook she used to read from when I was a kid. She remembered it! And I still have it. I took it to show her yesterday and she lit up. What a beautiful smile - even though she fell on her face last month and now has half a front tooth.
My emotions seem as eratic as her lewy body. I appreciate this outlet and support. I tend to isolate and hesitate to talk about this with others. Oh how I miss her, even when I'm holding her hand.
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I’m so sorry. It depends on her wishes if she expressed them before the dementia got bad or your wishes if she did not. You could have a discussion with her doctor about a brief work up, maybe just a chest X-ray, simple bloodwork and a urinalysis and culture to look for simple things that might be causing this abrupt decline. Or it is also ok to just be with her and let her know she is loved.
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3 Reactions@laura1970 Thanks. We knew this was coming. Mom had made all her wishes known before dementia was an issue which I'm glad. Hospice warned me her decline would be more rapid now and yet I heard...but didn't hear. So yes, I'll cherish the moments, even when tough.
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6 ReactionsUpdate: For the very first time, my Mom hit me today. I know it's not 'her' but it's tough.
🙁
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6 ReactionsSorry about that...my wife started hitting when she was in the throes of a final UTI. You are right -- it is not her any more.
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5 Reactions@tracidw
@tracidw, how is your mom doing? How are YOU doing?
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2 ReactionsThanks for asking. The new hospital bed seems to help. She had a hard fall and gashed both arms. She can't remember that she can't really walk. The best thing is that she knows me and always gives me a huge smile. So I will cherish it each time.
And, me? I forget, we gotta take care of ourselves too! I'm in a great LBD zoom group twice a month and that helps and I joined a book club. Might not have the book read by the meeting, but I'll still go since I tend to be a hermit these days.
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1 ReactionI am so sorry and understand how painful all this is. I lost my father very rapidly. His dementia took him quickly. Now, my mom has dementia. It is slower, but over the last year has progressed and her short term memory is horrible. Conversations several times a day that she does not remember. I know that you can relate to this. Hold that red book memory close and maybe even keep reminding her of this. It seems people with dementia remember very old memories. My mom can tell me stories of old memories. If you find those, bring them up daily. Be sure and take care of yourself. I know that I am struggling with losing the woman that she has always been. Please keep sharing here. It helps me and probably others dealing with similar situations. Thinking of you this morning.
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4 Reactions@diverdown1 Sorry about your mom. I agree, it helps being able to relate to others... we are not alone. It's tough losing someone piece by piece, memory by memory. On the way to her memory care, sometimes my stomach is a crazy mess because I don't know how she'll be. Thanks for writing, helps me too!
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