How to deal with aging anxiety?

At 60, a new doc asked me how I thought I wanted to spend my next 20 years. Without thinking, I flashed him a look!! I have always been rather anxious and a worrier, sorry to say, but it came with the territory. Even so, at 60, I felt great and believed that I had at least 20 years, if not many more, to live a full life, by my standard anyway, which was work, exercise, a few very close friends, music, my small family, etc. A simple life.
I had tons of energy, much more like a 35-40 yr old. So I was taken by surprise by his question. I guess he saw the look on my face because he changed he subject quickly.

When I approached 70, I was still very energetic, but had some limitations, osteoporosis for one, which changed my life quite a bit and my vigorous exercise program! I didn't really feel differently, but I so dreaded turning 70, it did become an obsession. When the day came, I was not happy. Something snapped in me, though, a few months in, and I just accepted my age and decided if I could keep going as I was, I might make it another 20 yrs without major illness or death. I was always more youthful mentally and physically than my age on paper would dictate. I decided to take healthy risks more than before, embrace and accept what came my way instead of expecting bad things.

Now, I'm 76, and for the last couple of years am, like you, obsessed with the future. For me, ruminating about illness and death are my most common demons. I am unable to find enough purposeful and fulfilling things to do that remove me from my dark thoughts of the future. I've tried many things and am involved in groups and classes almost every day but reality is what it is and after an hour or so of focusing on something else, I'm back to illness and death and what to do if my husband pre-deceases me. It would be a mess. We have no close friends, I have very little family and though he has family, I don't feel close enough to them to ask for help. Very scary. That preys on me so badly. We know our neighbors but they too, are older, and we are not close. We've been here 5 yrs and meeting friends has not been possible. In the burbs', where we lived forever, I felt safe. But my husband won as he was inconsolably miserable and had to get away from the traffic and noise. Now, we're stuck in a house in the boonies which is becoming far too much for us. He is younger, and of course, was very confident that he'd do ti all. LOL. Now he has chronic back problems galore, pain in his legs, etc. He will not move to a condo and in our area, all over 55's are high rises.

I need but can't find a competent therapist who will take ins and can't afford the 300+/hr out of pocket - stated just in case someone suggests it.

Not looking for help here, just letting you know you are not alone AND you are only 60!!!!! Try to enjoy these years. Revel in your good health and the things you can still do with ease and energy. It worked for me for a decade and a bigger worry wart has never walked this earth!!! Best to you, my young friend.

@susiewordsmith I appreciate you sharing. There are some days it is too much and then with the help of people like you in this forum we get thru and find a way despite pain and grief to get to the next day and make it what we can. Doing that today. Thoughts with you.

susie, thank you so much for posting.
I, too, have read about Dignitas and was comforted by it.
As a religious skeptic, I feel you when it comes to finding solace and peace from a higher power or the like.
I believe Dignitas will offer release to more than those with terminal illness which the US Medical Aid in Dying law requires.
Thank you for this reminder...I very much appreciate your sharing.
My hope is that you do enjoy life when not tending to medical issues, which I agree are fully unfair!!
Sending light and "glimmers."

@glinda47

Thanks so much, Glinda. Nice to know that we're not alone in our skepticism about religion. In addition to Dignitas, you may be interested in Compassion in Dying...which is working on dignity in death legislation in several states. I live in Ohio, where I think it's hopeless (although the three cities are bubbles of clear thinking, most of the state is not).
I love your concept of "light and 'glimmers.'" May you have many days of light!
Susan

grahmilou-
The last part of your opening statement expresses my experience exactly.
You wrote: "Trying to stay grateful for today but sometimes the anxiety feels overwhelming especially as I see our country change for worse and worry about the world for my grandchildren."
I can accept that my personal meanings, joys and pains will end with me.
The larger loss of human community, the rising power of unlimited greed and the destruction of the natural world that gives us life is a tragedy I can't ignore.
This is our time, and we must live with it. And we must try our best to embody the possibility that it could be different.

@glinda47

Thanks so much, Glinda. Nice to know that we're not alone in our skepticism about religion. In addition to Dignitas, you may be interested in Compassion in Dying...which is working on dignity in death legislation in several states. I live in Ohio, where I think it's hopeless (although the three cities are bubbles of clear thinking, most of the state is not).
I love your concept of "light and 'glimmers.'" May you have many days of light!
Susan