Want to share with other victims of narcissism (NPD)

People with narcissistic personality disorder are a bit different than narcissistic people. That is not to say that narcissism is easier to deal with. We all have a bit of it, but people with NPD or those with antisocial personality's can be dangerous. They are hard to spot. They are charming, and the best liars I have ever seen. I recommend listening to Dr. Ramani on YouTube. I had a family member diagnosed with NPD and it is painful to realize a person you loved and trusted is someone that you never really knew. On the other side, a lot of people with these traits have trauma in their childhoods. The narcissism seems to have become a survival skill for them, hence the lack of empathy, etc. It is a strange and devastating disorder for anyone on the receiving end of them and takes time to start recovery from a relationship. The last person I had a relationship with, was a wolf in sheep's clothing and I was devastated when it all blew up and their mask fell off, but it is possible to start recovering from it. The trauma bond is still in me, but I see it now and can remind myself that the person I thought I knew, never existed.

@diverdown1 thank you! I am still living with my daughter and I am so thankful for her help. My other children are corresponding with me. I don't miss the fake friends. I'm anxious to make real friends once I feel confident to meet people. Right now my social anxiety and trust issues are still huge. People who have never been involved with a narcissist, whether it be a family member or a relationship, do not understand the narcissist type of abuse. It's easy for them to want to help but because they don't understand that abuse cycle, they get frustrated and sometimes mad because I went back to him. My sister stopped communicating with me because of this. I've often thought about starting a narcissism support group in my area, and may do so!

My dealings have to do with an adult (58) stepdaughter. I will tell you right off she scares the begesus out of me.

It is always about her, her problems with her SIL, husband and adult children.

She is very cunning and conniving and a few years back H (86 now) was in hospital for heart issues, she showed up, when I wasn't around, with a new will for him to sign and wanted the nurses to witness it!! A couple of weeks after that she came by and started telling me that we had to have 3 wills drawn up - one for when H. passes, one for when I pass, and one if we should both die at the same time!!! I threw her out and old my H. That is when I found out about her going after him to sign a new will.

She talked a good game when H and I were getting ready to retire. I didn't know her that well, but she told H she would help us out, watch our dog so we could travel, etc. That, including the dog watching never happened. The only one who's dogs got watched were hers so that she and her H could go on trips all the time. Anytime we wanted to get away, she had an excuse. I put an end to that nonsense.

She has ignored her Father for years on Father's Day and on his birthday. Sometimes she will call a few days later and give him a story about how she forgot it was Father's day or some such BS. He always would believe her and the next year it would happen again. This last year it didn't go down quite that way. For the first time, after not hearing from her, he came out and stated that now he knows what she thinks of him.

She has stolen things from me, including jewelry (I once caught her coming out of my bedroom a few days before I realized the piece was missing). Along with other things.

She expects something big for Christmas, but we get presents like a used thrift store ashtray (I don't smoke) and H got a used greasy grill set - wrapped nicely though.

We haven't seen her since before last Christmas. She didn't call H for his birthday, Father's Day etc., but I guess she cruises around the area to check on what we are doing. Didn't hear from her for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. or even send a card.

The latest thing that scares me now is that in the last week or so she has come by twice, rung the doorbell and then left, pulled out of the driveway before we could get there. H saw her car and her going past the front of our house! She is aware that it takes us time to get to the door and one of us always shots that we are coming.

Very strange.

@kartwk

To add one thing.
When her oldest son got married in 2018 we were not invited to the wedding! YET, we were expected to send a gift, preferably a check as the couple had already been living together! That certainly didn't happen. I did get a card for H and I to sign, just being nice.