And the Academy Award goes to... Pretender

@kartwk
Hello: the detailed notes I keep about my husband's behaviors really help the Neuro Doc with their comprehensive diagnosis (paired with three hours of cognitive testing, baseline in 2024 and again in '25). They only see you in their office for a short while and ask a lot of questions, so the info you provide (since you're with him 24/7 and know him better than anyone) proves invaluable.
The diagnosis won't change the outcome, however it will help with resources.
Caution though: once he has a diagnosis you may want the Doc to write a note for DMV that he can't drive anymore. You will be held liable if he drives, injures person/property and you knew of his diagnosis and still let him drive.
Keep checking in and we'll support each other. 🫂

@kartwk
I am now in Stage 8, having lost my DH in July, 2025. I do remember trying to understand what he was talking about and wondering how to respond. I finally came to a point where I discovered explaining reality and trying to help him understand what was happening was useless, even more confusing for him. I had a standard reply ready at all times. "Go figure" "Unbelievable" "Wow" "I don't know " were just a few. Any response would do. If I tried correcting him he thought I was arguing with him. I missed the deep conversations we used to have but came to realize that was in the past.

I hope this helps. Every situation is different but I want you to know you're not alone.

@jatonlouise I strongly suggest that you only put personal info like your phone number in a private message. This site is public and no one wants your phone number to go public, too. A scammer or thief could cause you trouble. I’ll ask a moderator to remove your number.

@jatonlouise, you are so articulate and describe your experiences so well. Do you know there are drugs now that can help people if cognitive decline is found in the early stages?
I just searched and found this:
Recent advancements in Alzheimer's treatment include drugs like lecanemab and donanemab, which have been approved to slow the progression of early Alzheimer's disease by targeting amyloid plaques in the brain. These treatments can potentially delay the onset of symptoms if administered in the early stages of the disease.
Alzheimer's Association ScienceDaily
You can probably find more out at the Alzheimer's Association website. I'm not sure if those drugs are effective for other forms of dementia. Have you been diagnosed yet?
My husband is beyond reminding himself with lists. I do write him notes to tell him where I am. He keeps them in his pocket and remembers he has them vs. looking at the whiteboard on the refrigerator where we also write things down. The rest of the time I give him verbal cues for what he needs to do: get dressed, work on a puzzle, brush your teeth, take your pills, etc. He just started washing the dishes without prompting!
He was in Adult Care for six weeks, but got discharged because he wasn't manageable. He tried to escape often, wouldn't' participate in any games or activities, was rude and aggressive to staff and participants, and constantly demanded food. I think it was too much like kindergarten for him. There were two days where he stayed for the amount of time he was supposed to, the rest of the time I got those dreaded phone calls to pick him up early because he was done with it.
I had a friend in graduate school who lived with a man who drank. One night he urinated in their closet! Reminded me of the story you told about your Aunt VertaLee. Moral of the story? Don't drink too much if you wear nice shoes or only wear old shoes to a party where you intend to over imbibe.
Thank you for telling us your great stories and how life is for you, @jatonlouise. Best wishes for the New Year!

@tsc I got my diagnosis in November 2023. I have advanced stage (stage 4of 5) Idiopathic Parkinson's Disease. I will ask my neurologist, though. Apparrntly there's no rule that you can't have more than one affliction per person. I wonder whether one might cancel out the other, but likely that's not the case. In arithmetic, if you multiply 2 negative numbers the result is a positive number (which I don't understand. If I get 2 bills for $100 each, they don't cancel each other out
And Ihave to pay both. Presumably that principle doesn't apply to afflictions.

@jatonlouise I strongly suggest that you only put personal info like your phone number in a private message. This site is public and no one wants your phone number to go public, too. A scammer or thief could cause you trouble. I’ll ask a moderator to remove your number.

@becsbuddy Do you think, this would elicit a complaintif I posted it And I realize I habe pr obably out-stsupided my ownself because I'm aware that there's some way t o send things to you that aren't made pblc, but haven't yet figured out how to do that. SUPRISESURPRISE!

Today I realized something, which is that when I get around to dying (which won't be any time soon because my To-Do list is so long), it will be self-inflicted. But don't worry! I'm not talking about suicide, but rather its cousin, Stupidicide. This is when you do something so stupid that the Universe dare not leave you unsupervised for so much as a second, and is growing weary because it takes so much energy that needs to be spent elsewhere. For example, I sleep in my socks because sleep will evade me if my feet get cold. I usually have only black socks (because when every sock you have is the same, losing one doesn't matter, whereas if you have a pair of decorated socks, when one disappears, the remaining sock is doomed, and has only 2 choices: spend the rest of his life polishing your furniture; or hie itself to the nearest waste receptacle and join the other things that have become useless.
But despite knowing these brutal truths, I succumbed to the desire to wear something other than solid black and bought far too many pairs of striped socks with kitties. The background of these socks is still black, so I have exercised some restraint (which clearly was insufficient to adequately offset the danger posed by the contrast between the black background and the bright neon yellow, pink, and turquoise of the socks). So, heeding the call of nature in the wee small hours of the morning (before Mr. Sun has deigned to grace us with his presence) and remaining in my sleep stupor, I emerged from my bed and proceeded down the well worn path to the bathroom, and became dimly aware that something was drastically different from the previous excursions. I became vaguely aware of some bright stripes where my feet should be, and I couldn't outrun them, so I tried to kick them away. This, of course, didn't have the desired effect. Instead, it made me start to lose my balance, and if I had not been accompanied by my trusty cane (which I sometimes forget to invite along on these excursions), I might have fallen and hit my head on the lavatory, toilet, or bathtub. These bathroom fixtures have such boring, sedentary, uneventful lives that they may welcome the sound of an ambulance's siren. Alas, if they were expecting my ever-attentive husband to respond to my cries for help, they would have to wait a few hours, because without his hearing aids, he can hardly hear at all, and after a full day of tending to me, he is bone-tired. He has always fallen asleep just as soon as his head hits the pillow and can stay in that position until the time to wake up the next morning, hopefully getting a well- deserved break. So, this is what I mean by Stupidicide. I don't know if Mr. Webster has added him to his book yet.

@becsbuddy Do you think, this would elicit a complaintif I posted it And I realize I habe pr obably out-stsupided my ownself because I'm aware that there's some way t o send things to you that aren't made pblc, but haven't yet figured out how to do that. SUPRISESURPRISE!

Today I realized something, which is that when I get around to dying (which won't be any time soon because my To-Do list is so long), it will be self-inflicted. But don't worry! I'm not talking about suicide, but rather its cousin, Stupidicide. This is when you do something so stupid that the Universe dare not leave you unsupervised for so much as a second, and is growing weary because it takes so much energy that needs to be spent elsewhere. For example, I sleep in my socks because sleep will evade me if my feet get cold. I usually have only black socks (because when every sock you have is the same, losing one doesn't matter, whereas if you have a pair of decorated socks, when one disappears, the remaining sock is doomed, and has only 2 choices: spend the rest of his life polishing your furniture; or hie itself to the nearest waste receptacle and join the other things that have become useless.
But despite knowing these brutal truths, I succumbed to the desire to wear something other than solid black and bought far too many pairs of striped socks with kitties. The background of these socks is still black, so I have exercised some restraint (which clearly was insufficient to adequately offset the danger posed by the contrast between the black background and the bright neon yellow, pink, and turquoise of the socks). So, heeding the call of nature in the wee small hours of the morning (before Mr. Sun has deigned to grace us with his presence) and remaining in my sleep stupor, I emerged from my bed and proceeded down the well worn path to the bathroom, and became dimly aware that something was drastically different from the previous excursions. I became vaguely aware of some bright stripes where my feet should be, and I couldn't outrun them, so I tried to kick them away. This, of course, didn't have the desired effect. Instead, it made me start to lose my balance, and if I had not been accompanied by my trusty cane (which I sometimes forget to invite along on these excursions), I might have fallen and hit my head on the lavatory, toilet, or bathtub. These bathroom fixtures have such boring, sedentary, uneventful lives that they may welcome the sound of an ambulance's siren. Alas, if they were expecting my ever-attentive husband to respond to my cries for help, they would have to wait a few hours, because without his hearing aids, he can hardly hear at all, and after a full day of tending to me, he is bone-tired. He has always fallen asleep just as soon as his head hits the pillow and can stay in that position until the time to wake up the next morning, hopefully getting a well- deserved break. So, this is what I mean by Stupidicide. I don't know if Mr. Webster has added him to his book yet.

@jatonlouise

I seriously needed this today! Thank you! It's been a traumatic 24 hours and I needed a break from my emotions.