Any inspiring story on successful meth addiction withdrawal/ recovery?

Posted by Alexander Emerson @alexiskandar, May 5, 2022

Any of you have an inspiring story on getting rid of meth addiction? Much appreciate any of you could share!!

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Profile picture for aaronp361 @aaronp361

It’s run havoc in my life for nearly 20 years and in that time I’ve known maybe a handful of success stories. Meth is such a strong addiction, even fighting for my life with stage 3 cancer wasn’t enough to break the cycle. Unfortunately. I am going to rehab for the first time in 3 days and I’m optimistic about my chances once I have the tools that rehab provides.

Here’s a quick story about my journey and how it’s led me to the doorsteps of my treatment facility:

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Meth and I have been together for as long as I can remember, despite my best efforts to stop. After years of trying to break up, I’ve decided this time it really is over. There have been several attempts to escape our toxic relationship, but the symptoms of separation anxiety, depression, and fear often seduce me back into the relationship. The more time that passes, the more dependent I become. And even when we’re apart, meth always seems to be on my mind. When I’m not using, my mind becomes filled with anxiety or panic from a deep sense of loss. Depression takes root and suicidal thoughts get closer and closer to tomorrow. I can no longer feel what normal feels like, and my soul becomes void of all happiness. Every breath that I take becomes heavier from the tension in the air and any beauty that I would normally appreciate vanishes.

Each trigger has its hands on the clock. As time ticks by and each minute passes, the clock gets louder. When a single hour turns into two hours turns into three hours turns into four hours, Ill finally snap. I’ll pick up the phone and place my order. No matter what happens next, meth will save me.

Meth will save me. That’s what I tell myself every time I pick up the phone to place an order. No matter what the consequences, no matter how much pain it causes me, meth will save me.

I know I’m in a bad place when I start thinking like this. I know that using meth is only going to make my life harder in the future. But in the moment, in the throes of my addiction, I can’t see anything beyond getting high.

I can’t see how using meth is destroying my life. I can’t see how it’s ruining my health. I can’t see how it’s driving a wedge between me and my friends and family. All I see is the immediate relief that meth provides.

I know I shouldn’t be doing this. I know that meth is only going to make things worse in the long run. But in the moment, I can’t see anything beyond getting high.

Meth will save me.

At least, that’s what I tell myself. But in my heart, I know that meth is only going to make things worse. I know that it’s tearing my life apart. I know that it’s going to ruin my health. I know that it’s going to make my cancer come back.

I also know that meth is the only thing that makes me feel alive. It’s the only thing that makes me feel like I’m in control. It’s the only thing that makes me feel like I’m worth something.

Without meth, I’m nothing. I’m a worthless 41 year old addict who can’t even get his life together enough to keep using.

But with meth, I’m somebody. I’m somebody who can get things done. I’m somebody who can feel good. I’m that mathematician again who used to make things happen.

I know that meth is destroying my life. I know that it’s going to kill me eventually. But in the moment, in the throes of my addiction, I can’t see anything beyond getting high

Meth will save me.

Or at least, that’s what I tell myself. I tell myself that meth is the only thing that can help me, that it’s the only thing that can make me feel better. I tell myself that without meth, I’m nothing.

But I know that’s not true. I know that meth is only making things worse. I know that it’s tearing my life apart.

I can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep using meth and pretending like it’s not tearing my life apart. I know that it is. I can see the destruction it’s causing. I can see how it’s ruining my health. I can see how it’s making me into someone I’m not.

I’m finally ready to face my fears and quit using meth for good. I know it won’t be easy, I understand the challenge ahead. Meth addiction can be a difficult to overcome with multiple mental illnesses and layers upon layers of complex PTSD. But I’m determined to make a fresh start. I’ll be going to rehab next Tuesday, followed with counseling and attending support groups to help me stay on track. I’m also going to make sure I have a strong support system of friends and family who will be there for me when I need them. With their help, I know I can overcome this addiction and finally live a happy, healthy life.

I’m grateful to have finally realized that meth is destroying my life. It’s not easy to face my fears and admit that I need help, but I’m ready to do whatever it takes to get clean. I know I can’t do it alone, but with the help of my friends, family, and counselors, I know I can overcome this addiction and learn how to manage my triggers. Because if I can stop betraying my trust when I promise myself its going to get better, I can finally live the healthy, happy life I deserve.

Because I’m the only one who can save me.

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@aaronp361 Everyday with you in it is a good day!!! Merry Christmas!

REPLY
Profile picture for joeyjensen1959 @joeyjensen1959

Addiction is a disease...meth Addiction will destroy you and everything and everyone around you...never think it's to late or to hard to quit never give up trying....I have 9 months clean after 30 years of Addiction everyday is different some days are harder than others and yes even painful we have to stop this disease from destroying our lives and the lives of our children and others.

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Well done Joey.

As Aaron commented - "...I’m the only one who can save me." This is the truth that lies at the heart of recovery.

I've been sober for 14 plus years now (alcohol mostly, and opiates). It's tempting to credit my very kind PCP, my sponsor, or any of the friends I've made in recovery with "saving my life".

The reality - we have to save our own lives by giving up and asking for help. It's that simple and that complex, that easy and that hard.

Anyway, I'm proud of you Joey for saving your life. You are an inspiration.

Joe

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I did not ever do meth or heroin, but I have battled addiction since the age of 14 years old. I am not 55 and 8 years sober. I never, EVER thought I would be able to have a life of any kind without some kind of substance. It is possible. I got, what others may have heard, "the gift of desperation." I started doing 12 step meetings, sometimes 2-3 times a day. It is possible to NOT use at this moment. If you need to take it 1 minute, hour or day at a time, that is paramount. All any of us has is this moment. I have had a couple of times where my mind has tried to tell me "F&ck it, you will never be okay might as well drink (add drug of choice here)." That is not true. The majority of me KNOWS it is not true and it sounds like you do as well. I encourage you to read the first 164 pages of the AA big book or even NA. It is the same, really. There are people in these groups that do know what it is like to battle addiction daily, who have lost friends and family and yet are able to take life a day at a time. Since I have been sober, I have faced the death of a parent, lost my partner of 28 years (to alcoholism) and I am battling Long COVID. There was a time when I would have thought I would never had made it through all the shit without using. That part of me is ever present. I am going to include a link on this comment. It is something I read everyday. This email is sent out every morning around 4:30 a.m. It helps me start my day. I do encourage you to at least give AA or NA a try. Message me if I can help. All you need to do is not use today. I would not worry about the medications at this point. I, too, had to utilize some medications for withdrawal as well as even now, for other issues. I also see a therapist for trauma and have for over 5 years now. There is a saying, "If I walk into the woods a mile, I have to walk back out of the woods a mile." You can do this! If I can, anyone can. Just today! You made a great start sharing on here.

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Profile picture for diverdown1 @diverdown1

I did not ever do meth or heroin, but I have battled addiction since the age of 14 years old. I am not 55 and 8 years sober. I never, EVER thought I would be able to have a life of any kind without some kind of substance. It is possible. I got, what others may have heard, "the gift of desperation." I started doing 12 step meetings, sometimes 2-3 times a day. It is possible to NOT use at this moment. If you need to take it 1 minute, hour or day at a time, that is paramount. All any of us has is this moment. I have had a couple of times where my mind has tried to tell me "F&ck it, you will never be okay might as well drink (add drug of choice here)." That is not true. The majority of me KNOWS it is not true and it sounds like you do as well. I encourage you to read the first 164 pages of the AA big book or even NA. It is the same, really. There are people in these groups that do know what it is like to battle addiction daily, who have lost friends and family and yet are able to take life a day at a time. Since I have been sober, I have faced the death of a parent, lost my partner of 28 years (to alcoholism) and I am battling Long COVID. There was a time when I would have thought I would never had made it through all the shit without using. That part of me is ever present. I am going to include a link on this comment. It is something I read everyday. This email is sent out every morning around 4:30 a.m. It helps me start my day. I do encourage you to at least give AA or NA a try. Message me if I can help. All you need to do is not use today. I would not worry about the medications at this point. I, too, had to utilize some medications for withdrawal as well as even now, for other issues. I also see a therapist for trauma and have for over 5 years now. There is a saying, "If I walk into the woods a mile, I have to walk back out of the woods a mile." You can do this! If I can, anyone can. Just today! You made a great start sharing on here.

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@diverdown1

Thanks so much for sharing your story! I got sober at about the same age as you. I just finally gave up and asked for help, and my PCP and AA were there for me.

I don't adhere to all of AA's steps. I believe recovery is possible without having to rely on a higher power. But steps 1, 4, 5, 8, 9, and 12 are required.

Thanks again DD1!

Joe

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Profile picture for jeno71 @jeno71

Success stories? Nearly everyone in the NA fellowship who lives the program to the best of their ability has stayed clean from all drugs - including alcohol too because that’s a drug due to it being a mind and mood altering substance. Gotta work it though. I never really thought I’d get clean, at least not stay clean, but it’s been 7.5 years and counting.

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@jeno71 I agree...NA has helped me. But I can't say it's been easy....almost 10 months clean and still each day is a struggle...it takes determination and work.
Joseph

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Never give up...it takes time to break the cycle and build a new different life...and yes being clean can be painful, but it's worth it i promise you can get there if you want it bad enough.
Joseph

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