How about a laugh, (hopefully)

My car broke down somewhere between the marina and Hallmark store and now I'm between a dock and a card place.

@kamama94
You’re on a roll!!!
I love it!
I pray your health is coming along.

Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand shops.

@captboat I'm still above ground and I think that's a plus. Hope you're doing ok also.

MATURE ADVICE:

If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law." (Eva Gabor)

"Old age comes at a bad time." (Ed Sullivan)

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it." (Golda Meir)

"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up; then, you forget to pull your zipper down." (Rob Reiner)

"Old people shouldn't eat healthy foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." (Bob Hope)

"The years between 55 and 75 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." (T.S Elliot)

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us.. at age 40, we don't care what they think of us... at age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all." (Ann Landers)

"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I'm labeled senile." (Milton Berle)

"The important thing to remember is that I'm probably going to forget." (Martin Scorsese)

"It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone." (Andy Rooney)

"The older I get, the better I used to be." (Lee Trevino)

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me — they're cramming for their final exam." (George Carlin)

"Everything seems to slow down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." (Elizabeth Taylor)

"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." (Dennis Quaid)

"Looking fifty is great — if you're sixty." (Joan Rivers)

"Time may be a great Healer, but it's a lousy Beautician." (Zsa Zsa Gabor)

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is going? Krisp Kringle.

I met some chess enthusiasts in a hotel lobby today. They all just kept on bragging about how good they are at the game!!

Ugh, there’s nothing worse than Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

Keep seeking, Hope.

What do you call someone who's scared of Santa? Claus-trophobic.

Ok some sad news. I broke up with my girlfriend Loraine.

She found out I was seeing another girl Claire Lee.

The good news is I can see Clair Lee now Loraine is gone.