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New here really needing some support.

Posted by angieinmich @angieinmich, Dec 6, 2025

Hi all. So I'm 41 an alcoholic with sober date of 12/31/21 liver transplant 02/19/23.
Not sure if this is the proper place for this post so forgive me if it's not but here goes ...I had never been much of a Christian in my life. I had a very religious experience while I spent about 6 months in hospitals trying to get healthy enough to even be considered for the transplant list. And I can't explain it but it changed my outlook and my heart about Alot of things. I was a nobody who should not have survived and I did so I contribute it to God 1000 percent. And of course the donor who made the greatest sacrifice so this loser could get a second chance. Anyways I am struggling lately. It kind of felt like the first year almost 2 I was invincible . I had so much patience and love and understanding. It felt as though I was riding a high kind of ??? Not sure if that's the best way to describe that but anyways now as time goes on and other signs of aging and not taking proper care of myself ( before) are showing through. I have a knee injury from last summer that's been quite the bummer the last 6 or so months. Using it for very much makes it swell and ache and quite unstable. Jumping through hoops with Drs and insurance. Just overwhelming.

Try to not let it get me down but it's hard when I desperately want to be living everyday as much as I can because I feel it's my responsibility to thrive and survive and then I have so much guilt because I know this isn't what I want to be doing and I feel like im wasting life And not just mine anymore. And obviously I can't cope like I did for 25 years ..so I pray I try to reach out . Get in touch with people from my church etc. I know I have always been the person who tried to take everyones problems and everything and let it be my silent burden and I just can't do it anymore. And I don't know how necessarily to give that up and ask for help myself . So ya it's a struggle everyday lately just to get out of the funk I feel.

I guess my question is has anyone else had this experience after a year or 2 post transplant ? And any tips or helpful advice would be really appreciated. Thank you and again sorry if this post isn't in the right spot.
-Ange

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Mentor
Dana, Volunteer Mentor | @danab | Dec 9, 2025

Hi Angi, I'm actually a recovering Alcoholic also. But what's more important to me is my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. So its interesting to me as I'm studying the story of Elijha in 1 Kings 19 about how he went thru a similar period of despair after having a high point in his life over a success with the false prophets of Ahab and Jezabel Maybe reading that story may help to see that God is with you always Good times and not so good times. So the good times for Elijha was 1 King 18 but the bad times started in chapter 19 so God had a plan and protected Elijha during that time. ending up at the mountain of God Mt Sinai, by the end of the chapter where he renewed his strength. Gave Him a new mission.
I went thru a similar period as leading up to my transplant i was only 59 and a family to support. Now 9 years later i can see Gods hand in all that happen thru the process. Now retired God gave me a new ministry to teach both at my Church and online. Plus doing this on Mayo connect. I have found great joy in my new life so my advice is keep praying, asking for guidance as to what he has for you to do for Him.

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angieinmich | @angieinmich | Dec 9, 2025

Hi there thank you for sharing that. I enjoy learning about the Bible and in church yesterday actually , Pastor talked about Ahaz who I believe was the son of Ahab or grandson maybe ? And how he was so wicked and yet why did God give him the message of Jesus and how he would be born to a virgin and I can't remember how the entire verse or prophecy went without my notes but I was crying during church just how God can come to the most wicked even and offer repentance and a sign of mercy and grace just meant so much to me at that time. I have always been so hard on myself and never felt like I deserved forgiveness or goodness even though I never really did anything that bad I had so much bad happen at a young age , like a lot of people do , and It just jaded me against myself and even now without what I thought was the help of alcoohol and stuff it's hard to not get that sinking feeling once in a while. So having the Pastor talk about it really moved me .
When I was sick and I felt God come to me after I had been hospitalized for almost a month. It was the middle of the night and no it wasn't an audible voice but I was up and was overwhelmed with emotions my heart ached literally hurt and I just wanted a Bible. I called the nurse asked if I could get one from someone. (At the time my phone had fell and the screen was cracked so I couldn't really read it if I wanted to on the phone.)

She said she would see what she could do ,she saw how upset I was and she tried All night to get someone from the spiritual services , but everyone was home and the offices were locked . Finally the next morning a pastor came in with a Bible that I still have and prayed with me and from that moment on I wasn't afraid anymore. I was sad sometimes thinking of my son if I died. I know he would be sad and have to go through so much and I was sad for that but I wasn't afraid to die. I knew that God was with me from that moment on. And I have had so many signs in my life since then and even before once I sat and started thinking clearly about my life and all the years I was so dumb and silly and yet blessed and carried through so much ! God was always there even when I didn't believe or I questioned it. I would say such ridiculous things about how it couldn't possibly be real what about this and what about that and now ...it's like there is no one or nothing that could ever make me believe that God isn't real. The grace and mercy I received ...there's just no other way to explain so much in my life that happened. Even the bad...so much bad when I was younger I know only led me up to this resilience and I need to get my faith back I guess. Not my faith in God but that I'm worthy. And it's really starting to get better the last few days. I'm opening my heart to God's love again and so thankful for it. ❤️ Thanks again for the words of encouragement. All the comments mean so much and have helped a lot . I'm so grateful I stumbled upon this page

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Mentor
Dana, Volunteer Mentor | @danab | Dec 10, 2025
In reply to @angieinmich "Hi there thank you for sharing that. I enjoy learning about the Bible and in church..." + (show)
Profile picture for angieinmich @angieinmich

Hi there thank you for sharing that. I enjoy learning about the Bible and in church yesterday actually , Pastor talked about Ahaz who I believe was the son of Ahab or grandson maybe ? And how he was so wicked and yet why did God give him the message of Jesus and how he would be born to a virgin and I can't remember how the entire verse or prophecy went without my notes but I was crying during church just how God can come to the most wicked even and offer repentance and a sign of mercy and grace just meant so much to me at that time. I have always been so hard on myself and never felt like I deserved forgiveness or goodness even though I never really did anything that bad I had so much bad happen at a young age , like a lot of people do , and It just jaded me against myself and even now without what I thought was the help of alcoohol and stuff it's hard to not get that sinking feeling once in a while. So having the Pastor talk about it really moved me .
When I was sick and I felt God come to me after I had been hospitalized for almost a month. It was the middle of the night and no it wasn't an audible voice but I was up and was overwhelmed with emotions my heart ached literally hurt and I just wanted a Bible. I called the nurse asked if I could get one from someone. (At the time my phone had fell and the screen was cracked so I couldn't really read it if I wanted to on the phone.)

She said she would see what she could do ,she saw how upset I was and she tried All night to get someone from the spiritual services , but everyone was home and the offices were locked . Finally the next morning a pastor came in with a Bible that I still have and prayed with me and from that moment on I wasn't afraid anymore. I was sad sometimes thinking of my son if I died. I know he would be sad and have to go through so much and I was sad for that but I wasn't afraid to die. I knew that God was with me from that moment on. And I have had so many signs in my life since then and even before once I sat and started thinking clearly about my life and all the years I was so dumb and silly and yet blessed and carried through so much ! God was always there even when I didn't believe or I questioned it. I would say such ridiculous things about how it couldn't possibly be real what about this and what about that and now ...it's like there is no one or nothing that could ever make me believe that God isn't real. The grace and mercy I received ...there's just no other way to explain so much in my life that happened. Even the bad...so much bad when I was younger I know only led me up to this resilience and I need to get my faith back I guess. Not my faith in God but that I'm worthy. And it's really starting to get better the last few days. I'm opening my heart to God's love again and so thankful for it. ❤️ Thanks again for the words of encouragement. All the comments mean so much and have helped a lot . I'm so grateful I stumbled upon this page

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@angieinmich I know the names sound familiar, but Ahaz was also a wicked King of the southern kingdom so some interesting parallels. But also I love how God at times thru other people can bring to mind how he is always present and with us in our struggles. Thanks and Im so glad we chatted. Keep looking to God and you can't go wrong.

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