How do you change the perception of aging?

Forget labels and stereotypes ! Sure, our physical bodies change, but there are many joys to find as time goes on…one thing is being freedom from worrying so much about what others may think…another is having interesting perspectives…another, pursuing a passion you may have not had time for when younger…the world is huge—nature and the arts renew us all if we pay attention !

What a great discussion! How much do you think our background and upbringing has to do with the perception of ourselves as we age?

My parents were great examples to me in so many ways, but I'lljusttalk about aging here. My Dad was an active volunteer up until a few weeks before his ( too early) death from cancer. My Mom lived new "chapters" as her body failed, for example, when she could no longer dance she still enjoyed music. When she could no longer bake the Christmas cookies, she still helped ice and pack them. When her legs and balance failed after strokes in her 80's, we went on adventures with grandkids with her wheelchair and switched from long trips to painting memories of her travels.

My long-time PCP recently said "If I didn't know you, and just read your chart, I would expect to walk into the room and meet a crippled little old lady. I wish I could have you talk to some of my patients." She asked my secret, and I told her about my parents.

Who was your example in life?

@sueinmn My example for aging was my grandma, who lived most of her life in the Soviet Union. Physically, she was not doing well: diabetes, heart disease, breast cancer, very overweight. However, she was a force of nature mentally. She was a widow for most of her life - her husband was executed by the Stalin regime in 1939 for his religious beliefs. My grandma went on to raise my dad alone. In her 50’s she organized other Christian women to support and defend Christian prisoners and their families. For this she was arrested when she was 63 and sentenced to 3 years in prison. Her time in prison was rough and she came home very sick and depressed. She recovered and went straight back to the work she was doing before her arrest. The police came to warn her that she would be arrested again, but she wasn’t intimidated and continued her defense work until our family came to America. My grandma was 71 years old then.

I am afraid that what I do as a 60 year old will never be as significant or brave as what my grandma did. However, I can continue making a contribution to help others and make a difference in their lives. Our mindset directs our lives. Our bodies may fail, but we can still lead meaningful and impactful lives.

@captboat I like what you wrote here…I turned 81 in September and always so amazed and grateful I lived this long.. Every morning I wake up I thank God for another day… I mediate more and it brings me Grace and acceptance…

I'm 76.
Out walking last week, I realized that I still think of myself as "middle-aged."
I thought I should find a "more up to date" way to imagine myself, but I couldn't think of anything.
I'm not dead yet, so I must be somewhere in the middle!
And I'm pretty good at doing things, and still learning.
Maybe that's it: I'm "still learning!"
Still learning,
Ed

@edsutton enjoyed your post—learning is so central to living well at any age ! Live, love, learn !

@1995victoria you need a reason for tomorrow. I have too many pets and an out of control garden. My goal is to be able to bless the strangers in my life with fresh produce.

I so agree with you. An acquaintance became slightly irritated with me several days ago when I said that I refuse to use the term, " I'm old". I will not allow that mindset to inhabit my brain space. She said something to the effect of believing that God wants us to be as He sees us. I did not respond to that accusation and found myself taken aback by her twisted opinion. I will be 75 in 2 weeks and even though my mind isn't as sharp as it once was, my feet don't move as quickly as I would like at times, and my health has taken several unplanned turns, God has blessed me with a smile and a positive attitude and a desire to live my life and not sit on the sidelines and watch it pass me by.

I am definitely old. I am 91 years old. But I am not the 91 year old most people fantasize about. I am robust, fairly healthy, take care of myself, drive (even at night) and think logically. If anything I am changing the perception of how people think old people should look. Because they constantly say "You don't look that old." My answer to that is how do you think I should look? That stops them in their tracks. I do not know what the future holds for me or how much longer I have. So I do not make long-range plans (my joke is that I do not buy green bananas) but just go along from day to day. I have built up a fund just sitting in a modest savings account which I am growing to pay for a caregiver should that need arise. I definitely do not want to go to those hellholes that advertise assisted living.

@thisismarilynb bravo ! You are really special, an inspiration to all ! It does seem that more people are doing well into their 90s than I remember from years past…and you have much to teach the rest of us. Your open attitude is very good medicine.