How do you change the perception of aging?

@1995victoria
I was with a new group of people yesterday. They are all younger than I; I'm 85 and I use a cane. As we got up to leave, one of the women offered assistance. I found that unusual, I was not offended. I said that I was fine, and everyone gathered their things and we all left. I was a bit slower, and one person stayed to walk out with me. I found it all very gracious, but never before has someone offered me assistance when all I needed to do was stand up, gather my purse and cane, and walk out the door.

@joanland I use a cane more and more. It is a safety net so I don't lose my balance. Having a bum right knee, and neuropathy from left knee down, I need the security of being able to move confidently, even though it is a bit slower. People may ask if they can help, and usually the answer is "no". But, at 72, it is appreciated, and I hope those same people will extend the offer to others.
Ginger

@gingerw I've used a cane since I was in my early 40's--that is thirty years. Actually I love my canes. People comment on how pretty they are. Sometimes I get offers of help, sometimes people seem oblivious or even just cut in front of me. Sometimes I can actually be polite and hold the door for someone. I always say yes to offers of help, except the few times I've fallen in public where "help" might do more harm than good. The cane signals that I'm slow, etc. Once in Montreal a lady on a cane said to me in French--"we're in the same family" and that was a highlight! A cane is so simple, inexpensive, and can be elegant. Without it I'd be much less mobile.

@mir123 My everyday cane came from Sedona [AZ] in the late-80s. Very sturdy, and very light weight. He also gets a lot of comments due to his unique markings. Yes, a cane signals to others the person may be balance challenged, or have a less-than-full-working limb. When people offer to wait for me, I joke "go ahead and play through! I am movitating as fast as is practical, and today that may not be very fast!" And when it is appropriate, I am quick to educate young people how to act around those of us who may use an assisted mobility device.
Ginger

@gingerw The cane sounds beautiful! I'm tickled to hear you wave people ahead--I do that too.

@1995victoria I’m sorry you feel disrespected and upset by these questions. You’ve received so many wonderful responses which hopefully will help you to look at the questions in a different light and without feeling upset.

I’m currently in remission from stage 4 cancer. I too had those types of questions from my GP while undergoing treatment at 58 years old. It was easier to appreciate they were intended to identify any functional issues I might be having so we could address them. She still asks similar questions 4 years later. She’s an excellent GP. She’s just referred me to have heart tests because my smartwatch is showing some potentially concerning data. Her various questions around how I’m doing prompted me to mention the data instead of assuming something was wrong with the watch. She also found my cancer in 2021.

There is no stupid question…personally, I do a bit of research so I can frame my questions to docs better…often write them down , give them to doc for my record.. docs ask questions to learn more about us- sometimes those little chats reveal valuable info….. as to canes, a few of my friends got ones with rhinestone decoration, and it adds a ‘’little swing’’ to their steps.

While I don't need a cane any more following a healed broken kneecap, sometimes I'll take one with me into the market just because people are more likely to offer help.

That said, I'm an 82-year-old woman. When I go out for a walk around my neighbourhood, I prefer to use trekking poles for additional stability. They keep your posture upright whereas you are more likely to slouch onto a cane even properly measured. Also, while I may consider the poles to be the preferable equivalent of two canes, I believe that trekking poles make you look like an athlete keeping in shape for the ski slopes - a cane just says "infirm" (or, anyway, I've never been offered help while using the trekking poles).

@emaureen I, too, prefer to use trekking poles. I have two sets, one is collapsible to go into a 21 in. carryon, the other is fixed length. A man I know uses two trekking poles everywhere he walks, even into church. Even though mine have hard rubber "indoor" tips on them, they still click like they are too hard for indoor floors. I need to check on getting softer tips so they don't make so much noise.
And to all, I once met a woman who had a whole collection of canes - she had one to go with each outfit. What a marvelous display of color, rhinestones, curved handles, straight sticks, carved; she had them all. She must have had 30. I have never seen such canes for sale; perhaps I'm not shopping the right stores.

@joanland Be happy that someone noticed that you might require help. Most people are too involved with themselves.