Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

@moea I'm sorry that you're having a rough day.
Therapy helps, I think just because it's another place where one has the freedom to spill all of your thoughts without obvious judgement, but you do get some coping skills out of it, too.
It is sad and lonely. It takes a lot to try to learn to live alone with someone else, what kind of conundrum is that??!
I don't know where you live, if you live in a legal state, you should try edible gummies with a little thc, they help so much with sleep, but don't take away your sense of goings on around you if you need to get up in the middle of the night.
Don't ever be sorry for negativity, how can we not be negative ?!? We're not robots.
You should find a support group for caregivers only. There are groups online, too. It would be better for you, and sometimes you find others to talk to in between meetings.
It's all such a complicated process, even just finding a little respite.
Just go on here any time you can. It definitely helps.

@llthomson I know there are many that take Aricept, and it was the first one along with Memantine that my hubby was prescribed, but he was not able to take it. It made him very ill (nausea, dizziness) to the point he could not function. He suffered through for two weeks before we gave up on it. The neurologist doubled up his Memantine and then the next year added Rivastigmine patches. All your husband can do is try it, but if it doesn’t work for him, try something else. Honestly, I wonder if any of them really work. My hubby continues to decline, but I am afraid to stop him from taking them in case he might be even worse…

My husband has been on Donepezil for 2 years. I think it has helped with thought clarity.
If he had missed a dose, it set him back for a week. We added Mementine 2 months ago because I noticed increased anxiety and frustration. This has helped. On a side note, a close friend stopped for a visit recently. She hadn’t seen him in over a year and told him she noted a positive difference in how he is able convey his thoughts in conversation. So, for him, I think both meds have been beneficial.

@llthomson

My husband was on Ariciept for a short time years ago. Even at that point, he was unable to tell me what he was feeling. But he would hold his upper abdomen and shake his head no. It's listed on his medical records as a drug allergy - nausea.
My mom was on Aricept for years with no side effects, but I don't know if it helped or not.

The geriatric specialist offered Aricept for my husband at age 83 but did not "push" it saying results are minimal and none of the studies have been done on patients over 80. Our family doctor agreed. His adult children agreed. We declined .
His ALZ is progressing very slowly after 2 years. I honestly don’t know if the drug would have made a difference.
It’s an individual decision. Good luck.

@llthomson
Greetings: caveat that our experience may not be like anyone else's. Within a month of taking Donepezil, my husband became much more confused, worse than he was. Was this a coincidence and happened with no connection to the drug? Who knows. It was not supposed to make his cognition improve, just keep it from getting worse.
A few months later we are now trying Memantine and we'll see how that goes.
One thing I found out about is called, 'Cognitive Masking'. Folks who are intelligent are able to 'mask' or cover up their Cognitive deficits by using other parts of their brain to take over when one part is failing. This of course can only go on for so long, then there's a crash, when they can no longer cover and things all of a sudden seem much worse.
So... was my husband's sudden decline due to not a good fit with Donepezil, or because he could no longer mask his decline, or both?
Good luck to you. 🫂

My wife began taking 10mg Donepezil daily a few months ago and it seems to be helping her memory and focus. The improvement is not dramatic but we both agree that it has helped. She began on 5mg daily for a month to see if side effects of nausea or disturbing dreams might happen, but happily none did. Good luck.

@cyds
At some point you should also consider talking to your husband's physician about getting a POLST. A lot of people in our situation have no idea what this document is for. It is Physician's Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment. It has three sections that offer choices for the care of someone who cannot make choices for himself. The first is asking to chose between attempting resuscitation or a do not resuscitate order. The second part asks about different medical interventions. The third part asks about artificially administered nutrition aka feeding tubes. The last part is the necessary signatures of the physician and legally recognized decision maker. The reason I have this document is to let first responders and Emergency room personnel know what the plan of care is for my husband. I may not be available when an emergency arises. This document is kept in a readily available location and caregivers are told where it is and what it is for.

Hello All
This is my first comment on this site. My husband was diagnosed with MCI one year ago. He also has orthostatic hypotension, which causes him to faint pretty often. So my frustration today was due to the snow that fell in our area. Hubby has always been the one to shovel and clear the pathway and driveway. But because of his fainting, he shouldn't be shoveling. But he was defiant, got dressed and proceeded to shovel. I kept asking him to come in because I hired teens to shovel tomorrow in the AM. He just kept at it until I could tell he was feeling unwell.
He finally came in to my relief. But when he does his own thing, it stresses me immensely because I have to deal with the faint, which comes with seizure like activity and vomiting. Then he doesn't remember it happened.
What do other wives do when their husband has MCI, but think they are invincible and do not heed a loving wife's advice?

@pamela78 I realizeI’m reading this several months after you posted, but I feel I should look for more of your posts on here, as our lives seem to be running a parallel in this area at least. I am still at the “annoyed” part tho…when my husband of 52 years meets me at the door, or, more recently in the garage or even when I pull in the driveway. I like a few minutes to just breathe before coming back in the house. I need to be thankful that I still CAN get out by myself, even if only for an hour or two.