Cumulative Grief

@rivermaya34
Hi dear,
My sincerest condolences.
When you're up for it, may I suggest to take a mini brisk walk in the woods or try art creative expression. Whether that's in song, journal, draw. These helpful tools do benefit lives. Be gentle with yourself. There's alot of weight you''re carrying. We're with you!

@zenren14 Thank you for the encouragement and great suggestions. If my younger self could still run, I would. That was always my safe escape. I love writing, but hate Journaling with a passion bc it always makes me really angry and usually results in a bonfire. I tried it a few times this week and it hurt but also felt good bc it was a way for me to feel like I still have a connection with my best friend. I'm afraid to open up about the depths of my grief for fear of someone labeling me as "crazy" etc. My heart feels like its in shambles and I'm struggling to find healthy ways to deal with the grief so I can heal and move on with life. I guess this is what happens when denial turns into a mountain. I know it'll get better in time...at least, that's what people say. I feel like I just need to sit in silence surrounded by friends who are ready to give hugs when I ask. Sounds crazy, but I think that's what I’ve been missing. Thanks for being a listening ear, friend. I know that I am loved.

Read some books on grief to know you are not crazy......or at least not in regards to grief.

Also see a therapist if you can find a good one. There might also be a Hospice office in your area & they will have suggestions. Good luck.

@kayraymat Hadn't thought about a hospice office - that's a great suggestion, and there are several nearby actually. Thank you!

Experiencing a wave of grief - sadness, mostly, and no understanding of what happened. For the first time in my life, I'm asking the age-old 'Why' question and wishing we could trade places. But, I know there's a purpose in this; it's just so painful. What are you supposed to do when it comes over....just let it roll, feel and sit thru the emotions? I'm sure with time this will ease. Losing your best friend is the worst 💔 I don't advise it lol. 😕 Journaling is actually starting to help....and, I did go for a quiet walk in the warm sun today, where I felt safe to deal with and leave the brunt of my emotions. #justventing #thanksyall #communityisthebest #mayofamforever #muchlove

I learned this 'trick' from a little boy when his grandfather died. That grandfather was my brother. When he was playing Legos, he decided his grandfather was still there but was now just 'invisible'. That really stuck me as a child's solution to loss. I too have lost so many people in the last few years. Somehow it works at times. When I think of them, I picture them in their normal life, doing their normal things. Incorporating them into our thoughts in that way helps soften the pain we feel as we grieve them. After all, they do live in the hearts of those who loved them. Make no mistake. None of this is easy business. So much good advice from folks. Sometimes you have to try something totally new. Whatever it is, don't forget nice long deep breaths. The CALM app has some great meditations and sleep stories. For $80 a year you can have access day and night.