Husband with dementia in denial

My husband has what they call front lobe dementia. Everyday is different. One of my biggest frustrations is he is always wanting me to explain to him what is wrong. He also has peripheral neuropathy and is in a lot of pain and is on a very strong pain patches
Very difficult for him to get around so we stay home
I laugh and say if we did not have doctor appointment we would have no social life LOL Thanks for listening

@doyel Thank you all sometimes it helps to just say it

@doyel, being asked the same thing repeatedly is tiring and frustrating, even when you know it's the disease, not him. When you explain what is wrong, is he satisfied with the answer for a while or more confused by it? What answers help?

@baj I had not thought of keeping a diary—thank you! My husband’s medical clinic told me that I can only convey my concerns if I attend appointments with my husband, which he definitely wouldn’t allow, though I haven’t reached out to his doctor, directly. I am really experiencing anger issues, but am able to remind myself that he isn’t control…

@ceriselu Can you keep a diary and make an appointment for just you and his doctor (without your husband)? My husband's neurologist is pretty sympathetic; he listens to me but is also understanding and comforting to my husband and his feelings. My diary was helpful to the neurologist also.

If you cannot see the doctor in person, or if you cannot phone him, most doctors have a nurse in their practice. Please email her all your worries, and she will let the doctor know. Or mail the doctor a copy of your diary.

Good luck

My husband has dementia and he is an introvert as well. We tried senior living for a year but all the people and activities just made him more agitated and confused. We've been back in our home for six months and he has calmed down. I know what it's like to have to take care of everything and how overwhelming it can be, especially when a few things go wrong at the same time. I sigh a lot -- do you? Sometimes just letting yourself have a good cry helps. I also had trouble getting him in and out of a car so now I call wheelchair transport. I think my husband feels safer that way, too. The most useful thing I have found was an online caregiver eduation course. I learned a lot about dementia behaviors and how to deal with them. It was on Zoom so we could be anonymous if we chose. In-person caregiver support groups can be helpful, too, but it depends on the people in the group. This group is great. I hope it's helpful for you!

@doyel Sounds like our situation, with the neuropathy and pain patches, and the dementia. We stay home, too, and have the same social life! A good sense of humor helps us, too.

@colleenyoung I care for my wife with Frontemporal Demicia. She was diagonsed abiut 4 1/2 years ago. It has progressed very quickly. She is to the point where she does not comprehend anythjng you try to explain to her. She has a good memory of past events and experiences but cannot remember people or events in recent times. She gets very upset with me because i dont talk to her so she understands. She swears at me and says she dont know what the Hell i am talking about. She calls me many awful names one minute and hates me then next minute she loves me. She does pretty well taking care of her self , house work and cleaning but does a problem about taking a shower and washing her hair. Sometimes over two weeks. I shower every other day sometimes everyday. She has become angry in public and swears there at times. We attend church and sometimes becomes adjtated there. I am trying to care for her as long as i can but it is becoming difficult and dont know i will be able to do so and keep my sanity. When do know when its time you cant do so any longer. Her two children live out of state and have shut us off for the past 6 years plus. We are not allowed to see them or correspond on the phone. My wife does understand this and wants to see them so bad and she does not understand we are not allowed to visit them. That makes it even harder for me because she blames me for not takkng her to see them. They said we woukd be arrested if we show up in Milwakee ay there house.

@edj1950 , man, that does sound very stressful. I do hope you have good support from some sources. FTD is often marked for behavioral issues and resistance to care. Have you considered placement?