I need an open heart surgery: Where do I begin?

https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/what-i-learned-from-my-open-heart-surgery-part-1/
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/1257983/
Hello @pinkpam,
"Blind sided" you typed...well, that's a perfect description of what myself and many others here on Connect who have had open heart surgery felt! So please do not feel alone in your fear.
Your profile says you've had a kidney transplant. May I ask if you felt the same fear facing that surgery?
The reason I ask is preparing for open heart surgery is not unlike preparing for any kind of big surgery.

I posted two links I made to share with others facing open heart surgery for any number of reasons. The route and routine is the same to get in and out of your chest, but the reasons differ and the post op course may differ.
But still there is a lot in common.

If you type in open heart surgery in the search area at the top of this screen it will lead you to numerous posts about open heart surgery. There is not a specific support group dedicated to just this surgery.

Are you able to get out and walk or exercise? Being healthy going into this is in your favor.
Do some reading on here on Connect and see if it doesn't help your fear level diminish just a bit.

When and where is your surgery being done?
Do you have supportive family or friends or neighbors to help afterwards?

I too am having open heart aneurysm repair in 2 weeks. At 75 I'm still working on the farm and doing what i've been doing for years. I am blessed to be able too. It'll slow me down a bit but it will all be good

@karukgirl - With the kidney transplant 28 years ago - I was very sick and didn't really care. I am not have symptoms now and do what I can to eat right and exercise. But it is still a lot for me . My husband and GP doc are a great help. We are going to see dr Spencer on the 12/1 and he will give us more inform. - I have no question for him. Local Doc gave me a very small dose of anxiety drug for now - to settle down and get some sleep. I will go look at your website.

I thought I was going to need open heart surgery last year but wound up having a TAVR instead but I found this four part You Tube series by Jim Davis, a heart surgery ambassador, very informative and comforting because it made me aware of how to prepare for the before and after things to do. https://www.youtube.com/watch
Even with the TAVR I needed to be prepared for open heart because if things go wrong during that surgery they will immediately switch to open heart. One thing I can tell you for sure is that you need to have an advanced directive that allows CPR if your heart stops, otherwise they won't do the surgery. Mayo has the forms you can use online. Mine was specific to Minnesota because my surgery was in Rochester.

If you do get the surgery in Rochester, the hospital food is great. FYI.

Please book your surgery. The WomenHeart support groups can help you to sort out your emotions and calm your anxiety. Please look up this terrific group exclusively for women in your area.

Obviously follow your cardiologist instructions.
I had a cardiologist find a heart murmur and was sent to a cardiovascular surgeon. I needed an aortic heart valve. I was anxious about it but I figured I either get it done or possibly die. They didn’t have tvar in the 70’s so I had to have my chest open from my throat down to the bottom of my chest.
Once the anesthesia kicks in you don’t even know what’s happening. Once I came to they kept me in a cardiac ICU for 2 weeks. Felt no pain but when I started to piece together what they had to do to me I was glad I survived. They took over my body. They breath for you they pump your blood and you have all kinds of tubes and wires taking over what you do on your own when your not in a hospital ICU but don’t worry about that as they monitor you as the surgery is going on.
Finally when I woke up enough to know where I was I stayed for 2 weeks laying in bed initially being fed through tubes going down your nose but as soon as they feel you’re ready they start disconnecting you.
Your scar will. Feel uncomfortable but eventually you are wheeled out of the CICU into a regular hospital room and you start being yourself again but I spent 2 weeks in that room but now a new problem develops. You forget how to walk. A month in bed will do that and you have a foley attached and you can see walk to a bathroom. I started therapy in another room and I went from a wheelchair to a walker then a cane and now they start thinking about discharging you. Eventually you are able to walk again without a cane.
Once released you will be real happy to be in your own bed.
It takes a few months for the scar to go away about 90% you will always have a permanent scar but there’s no pain.

That’s my story and now they use Tamar. They don’t have to open you up. They go from a vessel in your groin and put a new valve through the vessel.
A couple days in the hospital and you’re done. Unfortunately I don’t qualify for Tavares because I’ve had open heart surgery. But I’m not sure if they can do tavar. Hopefully I’ll never need it again. Now I can run walk and my valve is monitored
Every 3 months. Unfortunately I have to be on blood thinners the rest of my life. They come to my house and draw blood to make sure it’s within a certain range every Wednesday morning.
I’m glad it’s basically over except the blood draws.
Medical technology has come a long way this was just my experience back in 2012. Good luck with your surgery. They know what they’re doing.