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Asking for help as the caregiver (husband 20 yrs with Parkinson's)
For 20 of our 33 years of marriage has been focused on my husband’s slowly progressing Parkinson’s. The last 6-9 months have been increasingly stressful. I’m beyond being overwhelmed. He is falling almost weekly, his voice is softer/more mumbled, little short periods of confusion. We have never fought; disagreed but always compromising to make the other happy. We now are arguing more with many ended often in a fight.
I’m at a lost. Feeling so hopeless and helpless. I’m broken hearted and so sad. I’m not as strong as others see me. My faith in God keeps my mind at comforted but my heart is racing and lacking strength to continue. I lack the strong hugs of reassurance.
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Your posts resonate with me! We are Christians also and have strong faith in God. We wouldn't have got this far without Him. Do you think sometimes you actually feel guilty because you feel you should be able to keep going and be strong because of your faith, yet we are human and sometimes things just do get very heavy? I am 32 years old, been caring for my husband who has a degenerative neurological condition for 10 years. I grieve the loss of a normal relationship, a well spouse and a well father to our 2 girls. I feel guilty because I still have him, but it is no longer a reciprocal marriage and I do crave connection, converstion and warmth
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4 Reactions@elizajayne I pray you have family near by. We now live in a generational suite with our son and his family. It’s nice to know help is on the of door. Hugs to you and your family.
@colleenyoung
Colleen - This is why this site is GREAT!
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1 ReactionHoney, I wish I could give you a big hug and let you cry out your frustration on my shoulder.
It is so hard to keep up appearances when we ourselves are overwhelmed. No one seems to see it.
I am early in what H is going through, but I sometimes feel that if I ever just let go and cried out all the fears, stress, etc. I have; I would never be able to get it all back together to continue.
When it gets bad, I come here and read, support and post. Sometimes about what must seem small issues but in the situation, I see as Big issues.
Use us, we are here for you.
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1 Reaction@elizajayne
You wrote: I grieve the loss of a normal relationship, a well spouse. I feel guilty because I still have him, but it is no longer a reciprocal marriage and I do crave connection, converstion and warmth.
I can so agree with that. I also feel bad when I get angry that I don't have those gifts anymore.
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1 ReactionHello all. I’m 76 yo wife caring for my 80 yo husband of 47 yrs. After 3+ years of seeing multiple specialists, the neurologist ordered a DAP test at Mayo Clinic for the diagnosis. We live in Jacksonville, FL. Initially it was a relief to have a name for all of the symptoms. Then the hard work began of gaining his cooperation with treating the symptoms.
I cannot say how much your posts resonate with me. We argue & fight at times. I am sad yet can’t cry. I’m angry this has happened. I’m seeing a therapist to address my emotional state and help me cope. This disease is unrelenting in presenting new challenges. I do have help from our children and for that I am extremely grateful.
I am sending hugs out to all. I am telling myself I am doing the best I can. I know when the dementia is talking and that this is not the man I married. I am pushing on with self care. I’m a type 1 diabetic on insulin for 57 years; my condition gets progressively challenging to manage as time goes on & stress builds. I have periods of being overwhelmed and stuck. I am comforted to know I’m not alone in this journey. I look forward to being in this group.
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