Long-term depression

@lisalucier
I've always been the responsible type. If I see something that needs to be done I do it. People would ask me to do things because they knew I'd get it done.
I think I always said yes because I wanted people to like me. Also, embarrassing as it is to admit, there were times I thought I could do a better job than anyone else.
Before I found an antidepressant that gave me some relief I was on a rollercoaster that was going deeper and deeper and staying down there longer and longer.
Always saying yes resulted in being overcommitted and overwhelmed. I wasn't doing a good job with my commitments and was missing timeframes I'd agreed to. The guilt this created weighed me down even more.
Getting on meds that gave me some relief also gave me the opportunity to realize I had to pick and choose what I said yes to. I had taken an assertiveness class where I was told I didn't have to give a reason for saying no and if I got push back just keep repeating myself.
As I started saying, "I can't right now but thank you for thinking of me", I did get some unhappy people pushing back. It was hard for me to not cave and say yes but I knew I'd be in bad shape if I did. So I would repeat myself. There were a few times I had to follow up with, "Have a good day!" and hang up. The more often I did it the easier it got. If I was leaning toward saying yes when I didn't really want to (we all have those days we aren't as strong) I would tell them I'd call them back after I looked at what was on my plate. That gave me time to talk to myself and get some conviction back.
This didn't happen overnight. It was a battle I fought and sometimes still do. I've learned that I have to protect myself because no one can do that better.

Thank you for sharing Lisa!
I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of as long as I can remember.
I've been trying to change this for the last few months. I have noticed that most of those test me and are upset with me.
It does feel good at the end of the day tho. My dad ysed ti tell me, "No" is a complete sentence.
I've been told to practice, practice and practice some more.
I'd live to hear more from you regarding your feelings and successes.
Thanks again, Kelli

Hello, @pearlbaby7 - welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I agree that not letting yourself be taken advantage of is important.

It sounds from your posts like you may have had some experiences with needing to say no to protect yourself and your health, however hard to do. Wondering if you would share more about those, if you feel comfortable?

@theotherone - wanted to see how you are doing these days? Did you end up finding a new psychiatrist?

@lisalucier
I've always been the responsible type. If I see something that needs to be done I do it. People would ask me to do things because they knew I'd get it done.
I think I always said yes because I wanted people to like me. Also, embarrassing as it is to admit, there were times I thought I could do a better job than anyone else.
Before I found an antidepressant that gave me some relief I was on a rollercoaster that was going deeper and deeper and staying down there longer and longer.
Always saying yes resulted in being overcommitted and overwhelmed. I wasn't doing a good job with my commitments and was missing timeframes I'd agreed to. The guilt this created weighed me down even more.
Getting on meds that gave me some relief also gave me the opportunity to realize I had to pick and choose what I said yes to. I had taken an assertiveness class where I was told I didn't have to give a reason for saying no and if I got push back just keep repeating myself.
As I started saying, "I can't right now but thank you for thinking of me", I did get some unhappy people pushing back. It was hard for me to not cave and say yes but I knew I'd be in bad shape if I did. So I would repeat myself. There were a few times I had to follow up with, "Have a good day!" and hang up. The more often I did it the easier it got. If I was leaning toward saying yes when I didn't really want to (we all have those days we aren't as strong) I would tell them I'd call them back after I looked at what was on my plate. That gave me time to talk to myself and get some conviction back.
This didn't happen overnight. It was a battle I fought and sometimes still do. I've learned that I have to protect myself because no one can do that better.

Hi, @theotherone - good to hear from you. That is disappointing to not feel like you are seeing any real interest from your psychiatrist. I would feel that way, too.

You mentioned being out of fluvoxamine (fevarin) and experiencing what you believe are withdrawal symptoms. Here is some Mayo Clinic information on this medication which may be useful, https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/fluvoxamine-oral-route/description/drg-20066874. I wanted to point out this part in the Precautions section, in particular:

Do not suddenly stop taking this medicine without checking with your doctor first. Your doctor may want you to gradually reduce the amount you are taking before stopping it completely. This is to decrease the chance of having withdrawal symptoms such as agitation, confusion, headache, irritability, numbness or tingling, restlessness, trouble sleeping, or unusual drowsiness or weakness.

I'd encourage you to monitor your symptoms carefully, and please don't hesitate to go to urgent care or the ER, especially with the agitation, dizziness and loss of balance. I personally had some challenges a number of years ago when a tapering schedule I had for an antidepressant didn't seem to work out right and I had some of the symptoms you describe. I finally went to urgent care, and they took it seriously and gave me some medication to get me through the weekend and calm my symptoms.

@theotherone - do you have a friend or relative you might alert you are going through some of these symptoms with going off of the medication, or who might help with finding you a new psychiatrist?

@lisalucier so I went to my doctor today. I called her yesterday and she told me I can come. My visit tool less than 5 minutes. I just asked for the prescription, there were no space to discuss anything, like the problems I have with withdrawal symptoms. By the way, is it common that her daughter is there with her? She is around 10 or 11 I guess. I mean literary sitting there and listening to her discussions with the patients? For me gt was not possible to open up and talk about what I should talk to her. I just asked for my prescription and left.

@lisalucier so I went to my doctor today. I called her yesterday and she told me I can come. My visit tool less than 5 minutes. I just asked for the prescription, there were no space to discuss anything, like the problems I have with withdrawal symptoms. By the way, is it common that her daughter is there with her? She is around 10 or 11 I guess. I mean literary sitting there and listening to her discussions with the patients? For me gt was not possible to open up and talk about what I should talk to her. I just asked for my prescription and left.

My wife knows about the difficulties I've experiencing but nobody else knows. I didn't want to bother anybody. It's always harder and harder for me to open up to somebody. It is not good, I know.
Hopefully, there symptoms will stop now when I have my medicine.

@theotherone we are all here for you. Society seems to place such a stigma in people sharing their heartfelt emotions when in the throes of depression. It feels like there are no safe places. We care
Ginger