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What about Me?
I am so tired, tired of dealing with all the groaning, moaning all day, every day even through meals which is making me not want to prepare meals or eat with H.
I understand he is scared as he has some understanding of what is happening to him mentally, but geez, it is not my fault. He gets mean and yells at me, publicly, like I am a child!
Friends are kind, but as others have said, we - him - are just not fun any more. I know some are afraid this will eventually happen to them. People we really don't know have tried to take advantage of him.
Heck, his middle daughter tried to get him to change his will to her favor when he was in the hospital last year. This daughter he really hasn't seen in almost a year, no birthday card or Father's Day card to him.
I understand the Calvery is not coming, but darn, it sure is difficult as more and more things go on. I am feeling very lonely.
Keeping up the house is difficult. We are just $300 a month from being eligible for various assistant programs.
The above-mentioned daughter has now started lying about me to her sister and brother. I have always had a good relationship with his eldest daughter since her and her father reconciled (over her changing religion before I met her, which no one in the family understood). The last few times I have talked to her she has been frigid at best. Seems the middle daughter is putting things out there that I am stealing their inheritance among other things.
This just floors me. I have had enough and don't need this with his family on top of everything going on with him daily. The door is starting to look pretty good right now and I can guarantee you that none of his adult children will help him out. None of them has done anything for us in the, oh, last 31 years, whether we needed help or not. His son has hit us up for $$ over the years, and the middle daughter's sons always have their hands out.
The truth be told, when I married their father some 31 years ago, he had a decent job but really had nothing. I had a house that was over 50% paid for, a paid off car, furniture. At that time he had just finished paying child support for his youngest son, who came to live with him after the child support stopped.
These people are starting to scare me. Right now I know what his will says, but I am afraid that if he gets enough pressure, he will cave to them.
This is part of me dealing with being his caretaker. It scares the begesus out of me. I did talk to a lawyer but I can only do things with items that are mine. It is not like we have a lot, just the house, the 8 yr. old car, and my furniture with a few pieces added.
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@celia16
There is only so much a lawyer can do if he changes his will. And all that would take is for the one daughter to catch him at the right time and sweet talk him.
Keep in mind that we are talking about adult children that, when their Mother passes, didn't want to come up with the funds to bury her! The oldest daughter didn't have enough funds so H and I picked up the tab to bury his exwife. While we were taking care of that (from out of state) the middle daughter was on a plane down to FL to check out what the Mother may have had of any value (jewelry, knicknacks, etc) that she could sell.
@celia16
And in our financial situation that was quite an expense.
Oh, for the love of Pete!!!!
Sounds like you could use a REAL 🫂!!!
Such a terrible, awful situation, on your hands there. I can only imagine the stress of it all. Friends, family, your husband even. Gosh what a position you find yourself in. I would say I will pray for you (if I still prayed) , just know there is someone who has read your terrible story and hopes you find a place that brings you peace . . . SOON!!!
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2 Reactions@suppiskey2surv
Thank you for understanding. As I read your post I started to cry, someone really gets it and understands. No platitudes as they don't help as you well know.
Oh my. I didn't mean to make you CRY! But, sometimes a good cry is EXACTLY what a person needs, isn't it? I probably live too far away to give those kids of yours a good kick in the pants but if I lived closer . . . and you needed me to . . . I would.
"What about me?" . . . Exactly . . . .
And here's another one of my attempts to make you giggle, if even for a little bit . . . .
When I was in the hospital, not too awfully long ago . . . having one of my three foot surgeries . . . my husband was sitting across from me in one of those little rooms before they take you in. You know the kind, I'm sure. Well, anyways . . . after the nurse hooked me up to my IV . . . and my husband was sitting there in THE chair, across from my bedside . . . . I couldn't get my pillow behind my head propped up properly. He was just sitting there, watching me try to adjust it . . . just WATCHING . . . never even attempting to help until I asked him. Part of this, I realize, is a gender thing . . . but part of it, also, should be a "soulmate" thing, don't you think? Helping out, when you can, to help the other, without having them having to ask? That's what, at least I thought, was a two-way street; but, I've since learned that when the tables turn, if /when they do . . . I will be completely on my own. Honestly! A friggin fluffing of a pillow???? Really????
So, yeah . . . when the shoe is on the other foot . . . . let's just say we're "BAREFOOT".
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2 Reactions@kartwk , in most states, you can’t disinherit a spouse. But, before it gets to the point of inheritance, the decisions about finances and assets might best be in the hands of your duly appointed agent. Hope they are on notice to step in if you need help.
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1 Reaction@kartwk I can only imagine the extra stress of the family vultures coming out to claim materialistic things. I don't have that. I have my brother whos is my power of attorney because I haven't been stable and if he feels my decision making is off he will challenge the other person in court but he isn't after my assets
@celia16
not sure that i agree with his overstepping This post to kartwk He thinks he knows eveything
@kartwk
Im sorry. We have no children but reading this sounds like a shit show and some of these things like burial fund happened in my family too, nobody wanted to pay for a relative so my parents did but the wealthy ones in the family all had excuses
@suppiskey2surv
I always used to pray but I am so burnt out and now my cousin is pissed at me for being upset with God when it isnt the creators fault that she went and blocked me
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