What are you best tips for being more patient?

@trishaanderson oh that is an excellent idea. I'll do this today. Thank you!

@celia16 Yes hope. My husband was just diagnosed and went onto Lequembe. Where I fear side affects, I fear dementia worse. He seems okay, I'm the basket case fearful of the unknown. But I'm thankful he was diagnosed and thankful he's on these infusions. Yes, this does give us hope for the future.

When I find myself becoming inpatient, with my newly diagnosed MCI husband, I remember how much I love him, the day we got married, the things we used to do, and just how my beautiful handsome renaissance man is. I remind myself to do anything and everything in my power to help him and therefore, help me. In doing so, that seems to calm me down at least at that moment!

I’m going to try saying he can’t help it and also pretend he has not asked the same question many times before. Great advice.

@kjc48 Thank you - I will definitely try this. The good news is that I love my husband and would marry him all over again. I'm a better person than I was a few days ago thanks for the support of you and others in the group.

@mickey5455
It was frustrating to watch my husband try to figure out the tv remote. Now he doesn't even try. The thing which was most concerning to me was that he no longer could operate his iPhone. So I got him a flip phone with a built in "life alert" for when I used to go out and leave him for an hour or so. He was not able to work that either. Through educating myself on dementia changes in the brain I learned that people with dementia can lose the ability to sequence events. That means he can no longer do things in the order required to make them function. Using a remote or phone requires you to do things in the correct sequence or you will be lost on the device. He will sometimes put his Depends on the OUTSIDE of his pants, in the wrong sequence. Learning all I can about dementia has enabled me to adjust my expectations for what is possible given his failing brain. This has enabled me to see him as he is now and not expect him to be as he was. This has been a game changer for me. May God bless you and your husband in your struggles and help you to accept the things you cannot change and the courage to change the things you can.

I'm actually beginning to worry about a friend. I'm always saying to him, you need to listen, but now I think I'm experiencing his early symptoms of dementia. I just hope not such a nice and very smart man. I told him to have his hearing checked. I've noticed some hearing loss in myself, confirmed by my ear dr, mostly in noisy restaurants or stores, I have difficulty

@ocdogmom thank you for sharing your struggle and what you have learned. It felt so frustrating to have to show my husband the same process over and over again for him to accomplish something on the computer. Writing out the steps didn't help at all. Learning that sequences are particularly challenging for people with dementia helped me tremendously. I wonder how it is that he still drives his car without a problem but he did have 25 years of driving before home computers so perhaps that it is. Thank you for your good wishes - I wish the same for you. God bless you.

Yes, adjusting expectations is huge! I learned to expect anything. They do their best, but…..it’s very different from the norm. No one’s fault. It’s a new reality. It can last months or years.

I used to wonder why she couldn’t read a note that said TAKE VITAMINS. She could read it, but not process it. Instructions were worthless. I learned that after a certain point, a person with cognitive decline needs constant supervision. Their promises are worthless, because they forget they made it or see no point to it.

Often, falling or getting lost is not due to vision, but confusion. Even with light they are confused. A trash can may appear to be a toilet. The sink a table. Forward is sideways……their sense of direction is skewed, so they need help being led. Sleep disorders are very common.

Resistance to care…another biggie. Hours of begging to change clothes or bathe. Refusal to cooperate with anything you suggest. It’s exhausting.

Delusions of persecution…..Daddy was convinced the home health aid has stolen his electric razor charger! Or someone was stealing his money. I finally told him I’d buy a new charging cable and investigate who was stealing his money. (No one was stealing his money.)

A lot of energy goes into soothing fears and delusions. Agitation was a real problem at times. Meds helped.

I think expecting the situation to go smoothly is unrealistic. It can be high drama and very stressful. Help to get breaks is imperative, imo. I think being gentle with yourself is as important as being patient. I only hope that patients who are getting treatments will respond. My dad lived a long, good life, but without the dementia he would have had more quality time. There were things we still wanted to do.

My husband has not been diagnosed...he refuses to have the 6 month "let's check in" appointment with neurologist (his primary care doc referred him after I wrote letter describing my concerns) because he says he is okay, realizes he forgets but nothing major that matters and "it is what it is" and he's read enough to know nothing can change it.

I am sure he has MCI and see the decline. I know big changes ahead. Am working on patience and calm demeanor.

Appreciate being able to read these posts. Thank you.