What are you best tips for being more patient?

Two things I can think of:
If you do not internalize the negative energy which manifests itself inside you as frustration and anger, then you do not need patience because there is nothing you are "bottling up."
It's like Tai Chi (a valuable daily practice). You don't plant yourself in front of the energy and do battle with it. You see it coming and dance to the side or up to get out of its way, just going on with your caretaking duties and letting the negative energy fly by with neither resistance or collection, both of which will exhaust you.
In short, you can't change the circumstances or the effort required of you. You can change how you think/feel about it and how you react.
The other is the power of love. My wife and I have devoted our lives to each other for more than 50 years. There is nothing either of us wouldn't do for the other gladly in gratitude for our lives together.
If that's not love, what is?

My husband hasn’t started to ask the same question over and over, yet. It will probably come.
When my Mom would sometimes she was like someone else’s person and would ask me if she had just asked the question a few minutes ago. I would laugh and say yes, but I didn’t change the answer! it just brought smiles to all our faces.
I was much more patient with her and my Daddy (he was just very elderly & frail) and I’ve often asked myself why I can’t be more patient with my husband. I try to tell myself when I get frustrated that his brain is broken. If his leg was broken I wouldn’t expect him to be able to walk on it, and the broken brain is pretty much the same.
Peace,
Cheryl

@celia16 "Bad is good when things get worse." I'm grateful that my husband can still handle his personal care and that he knows who I am. Before I found this amazing group, I doubted I could have the patience required. What a difference now. Could you please share more about medications that can help? My husband has refused to see a geriatrician or psychiatrist. Knowing that he might qualify for a medication that can help him could change his mind. Thank you for having such a positive attitude and sharing it here!

@nmrcdigman

Thanks for sharing. I, too, have been impatient with my husband because I am a sleep-deprived zombie and he pushes my buttons all day (and night) long--that is, I allow him to get to me even though he doesn't know what he's doing or saying a lot of the times.

I have been more patient, however, ever since reading the poignant post by bill2001 @bill2001 (See "The Long Quiet" posted September 1, 6:46pm). Repeated questions and repetitive behavior are preferable to me than long silences or being bed-ridden, which is what we could face with our respective spouses down the road, assuming we survive our caregiver journey.

My husband hasn’t started to ask the same question over and over, yet. It will probably come.
When my Mom would sometimes she was like someone else’s person and would ask me if she had just asked the question a few minutes ago. I would laugh and say yes, but I didn’t change the answer! it just brought smiles to all our faces.
I was much more patient with her and my Daddy (he was just very elderly & frail) and I’ve often asked myself why I can’t be more patient with my husband. I try to tell myself when I get frustrated that his brain is broken. If his leg was broken I wouldn’t expect him to be able to walk on it, and the broken brain is pretty much the same.
Peace,
Cheryl

@IndianaScott Scott, thanks for your comments because they brought me back to reality. my wife’s been telling me “she hates me “ and “wants me out of the house” all afternoon. i just left to grab a cup of coffee and read your comments. THANK YOU for bringing me back to reality. i know she can’t be left alone and cannot take care of herself but thankfully i have a son that steps in to help me with her. sometimes i feel so alone and lost 😞

@shmerdloff

I found your advice to be an extremely powerful reminder: Love is all there is. Being a loving caregiving, however, is daunting.

Face it: For many of us, life no longer seems like living, and it is difficult to be joyful, have fun or be funny when we know the inevitable. I miss our former selves and our prior life but my role now is to make my husband as comfortable as possible. That, however, hasn't deterred me from being Cruella de Vil.

Last night, I decided to picture myself as an usher at a wedding ceremony--ushering her Prince down the aisle to eternal rest and union with God.

I also found this reading helpful:

@wtr2026, sure, I’ll share what I know, but I think there may be some other threads that will help too. My understanding so far….the treatments that are available for cognitive decline and dementia depends on the cause of the condition. I believe the meds have been approved for Alzheimer’s. Please chime in if that is not accurate. So, if my loved one was experiencing issues, it would be imperative to know why.

When my cousin first got severe symptoms, I jumped in as her health care POA. I got her in with her PCP and then a neurologist to find out what was causing the problem. She was only 63 years old, but had severe vascular dementia. I wanted to rule out a brain tumor, vitamin deficiency, fluid in the brain, etc. For me, that’s why determining the cause was important. Sadly, at the time her doctors said the meds for symptoms were designed for Alzheimer’s and not vascular dementia. She didn’t take them and progressed rapidly. She lived for 6 years. Two of those on hospice.

My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He went on Aricept and Memantine fairly early. They were very helpful for him and we believe it helped him maintain much more function for a much longer time otherwise. With his doctor’s recommendation, (there aren’t studies that support the continued use if meds after severe stage is reached). I started lessening these meds once, but resumed after he seemed to do much worse. I resumed the meds and he went back to the same level. I let his doctor know.
So, I strongly encourage those meds.

But, my main excitement about meds are those that have recently been approved. I think that are intravenous meds and are quite expensive. I’ve read several posts around here about people getting those treatments! I hope and pray they work well. It’s worth a try, imo. Previously, there weren’t many options for people facing dementia. Now, there are and a possibility to delay progression. I’m hoping it turns out well!

This link describes the treatments, including the new iv infusion treatments.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alzheimers-disease/in-depth/alzheimers-treatments/art-20047780

@georgescraftjr thank you for recommending "The Long Quiet" post. I will read it after I finish this note - I appreciate your wisdom and will watch out for sleep deprivation. Let's take care of ourselves too so we do survive the caregiver journey. It's not easy, but with the support of this group, we can do it. Thank you again!