What are you best tips for being more patient?

@cakbob thank you for your most valuable advice. Stop and take a breath, stop and take a breath. That's going to be my new mantra. I hope this journey with your husband will be as smooth as possible. Thank you again.

@shmerdloff thank you for taking time to help me - and my husband! You said this is an opportunity to gain a new skill and you are right. I've always been Type A and never considered meditation. I'll start there. Thank you again.

My husband has moderate dementia and no longer asks the same questions or any questions. He no longer can have a conversation as his cognitive processing skills have deteriorated leaving him capable of only one or two word answers to questions from me. If your husband repeats his questions there are two aspects of dementia to consider. The first is that memory is affected. Most of us know that. But there is also a second factor to consider. Cognitive ability declines with dementia. Just because he hears an answer doesn't mean he can process what is being said. If he doesn't process it, it's like not getting an answer at all, so he asks again. The biggest help to increase my patience and understanding of my husband's behavior was to learn as much as I could about his dementia. The Alzheimer's Association has many valuable articles that address this need. I have found that understanding the disease if very helpful but what I really needed was a program to teach me a positive way to interact with my husband, to learn to focus on what he can still do not what he no longer can. You can learn to still find joy in the little things. I highly recommend Teepa Snow's website: Positive Approach to Care. You will learn so much that will help you deal with this dementia caregiving journey. You have done a good thing for yourself by reaching out to others on this site who understand your pain and frustration. God bless you and your husband on this difficult journey. PS I have found that while my husband is largely non verbal still enjoys hugs and kisses and kind words. People with dementia can usually still interpret others' body language. I believe that expressing your affection is a balm for them as well as for yourself.

This website has been helpful to me. My husband has MCI which was diagnosed about a year ago. His main difficulty is memory and words but the thing that drives me crazy is not being able to navigate the tv with the remote. Every time is like the 1st time showing him where he is on the screen and the direction he needs to go to get to the shows he’s interested in. I wrote down the instructions for the TV but it doesn’t help. I do what some of you have said and treat each day as a new one and try not to get impatient. I sit next to him and help him with the buttons. We switched from Amazon Firestick to Roku because it seemed more intuitive. Speaking to the remote for the app helps, but sometimes he can’t remember the app or says it too slow. This is a very minor problem and I know most of you will wish this was all you had to deal with. Thanks for letting me vent. Feel better already!

@elliottw
Perhaps you could get your wife one of the simplified phones meant for seniors and others with cognitive difficulties. She could learn to press one to call you, 2 to call child, etc.
My husband uses Google a lot to bring up phone functions, look things up for him, etc. He says 'hey Google', and Google is there to help. Unfortunately, sometimes my phone also responds to his 'hey Google'.

I have notes and instructions posted everywhere in our house. And each time I get overloaded with the same question, I remind myself how very lost I will be when he no longer asks because he can’t.

I don't have many tips because I'm not patient either and my husband was just diagnosed too. What I do now, is that I love my husband and I want him to live a loving, dignified life. So I show him the same thing, how to do things a million times, and now, he fights me on it, argues, so I back off, and then go back at it again. One of the people earlier posted on this site, that we don't argue, we help, and we try to keep calm. Maybe it's God's way of helping us grow calm. I don't know but what I do know, is I'm trying to take one day at a time. I'm not sure I'm doing good, but I am trying, and I am trying to help my husband as much as I can while he still is self=sufficient and knows who I am. My blood pressure has been so high lately, so now I'm trying to figure out how to care for myself as a caregiver. For me, it's just the fear of the unknown. And now I'm worried about the infusions he's on and the potential side affects. I keep telling myself "you've got this." It's obviously not something we would have liked to gotten in our life, but yes, "we do have this." because we really have so little choice. We love our spouses and want to help them.......I chuckled when I read the person above who has boxing gloves. I might try that!

@wtr2026 You ask how you’ll ever be able to return members’ generosity—you have already done so by being kind and thankful in your answers and attitude. We so appreciate that on MCC because everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness! Thank you!!

@ocdogmom, very true! It’s amazing how the average person knows very little about dementia. I certainly didn’t. Initially, I thought I could make things better, help her understand, get things set up so it was easier……sadly, those things aren’t options. It’s bad and it gets worse. The only real help was keeping her calm and getting outside help to help lighten the load. Well, at least back in 2014. Now, there are actually treatments that can make a big difference. It’s very exciting! I’m hoping the new meds offer a lot of help. This gives us hope for the future!

Many many years ago I was a smoker, and when nervous I used to inhale deeply. I stopped smoking, but kept doing the inhaling, deep breathing. So when told the same thing for the 10th-20th-100th time, I just do my deep breathing. It was also my secret when doing a presentation or giving a speech, I would have cue card that said BREATHE. I think when anxious, nervous, frustrated, etc. I would hold my breath, then I learned to BREATHE, I found it really helps. When my cousin would call 12 times in a half hour to ask what day it was, I realized she couldn't help it, so I would just BREATHE, and I must confess after many many phone calls, I would stop answering an let my answering machine take the call, I did feel guilty, but in some ways it was self preservation.