Where to help

I would just add that when cognition is affected, difficulty using devices, lack of recall…..it’s not just those things that are impacted. It’s also judgment, reaction time, reflexes, etc. Driving is quite risky. People get reverse and forward mixed up. Continuing to drive could be a liability. I might consult with an attorney about it.

I'm so sorry. My husband too was diagnosed with MCI and is going for his first lequembe infusion on Monday to try to slow this horrible disease down. We have had a horrible few weeks, we had to move out of our house, rent a house, everything we own is in storage, and my poor husband and his forgetfulness; he's lost his duffle back 5 times with important things in it, lost the phone, can't remember one thing from the other, lacks logic reasoning, yes...it's all so very hard to watch their beautiful souls and minds just deteriorate. I've really tried to see him at his level, speak to him, at his level, try not to angry for the things he does. He yelled at me about being his mother, and he didn't need a mother. Yet later, he said to me, I'm always going to remember you. Wow, you just never know what they're thinking, what they remember. I bring up the lequembe because I don't know if you've looked into that with his neurologist. We're hoping that it slows down his progression. I pray for all the beautiful people that have this horrible disease and for us, as caregivers, never knowing from day to day what's next. My heart goes out to you, and all of us trying to make some sense to this all........and be there for our loved ones.

Me too, strength and courage and tenacity is what we need on a daily basis helping our loved ones. I love what you did with the Passwords; I did the same thing when my husband was hacked into last November and someone got control of his computer. That took us 6 months to get straightened out, but at least we have old accounts closed, new accounts with new numbers, and a password list that I also have. My husband is still paying the bills, but I'm going to get involved, most of ours are auto pay, but there are a few, and I can tell he needs help. My husband goes for an infusion treatment next week with a new FDA approved drug, Lequembe, so I'm a little nervous over that and if it will help. Anyone out there doing that with their loved one with MCI?

I am sorry you’re going through all of this, but it seems that this is one of the areas that go first with MCI. I’ve learned to accept certain things so I don’t question them anymore for example accepting a Venmo, depositing a check on his phone, using the remotes to switch from regular TV to an app. I assist him with all of that — sometimes I let him hold the remote and I just tell him which button to press so he knows he can accomplish it. I write all the checks and pay all the bills. The main area I have with him is his very short term Memory — can be Hrs, minutes or a couple of days. Otherwise he can help me cook set the table drive the car and he drives the car alone to play cards with his friends. When he go to the store for me, but I always give him a shopping list — Even when I give him a shopping list I get about two or three phone calls and even sometimes the items he brings home are not what I asked for. the other area for me is he doesn’t listen very well. I say something to him very clearly and in the next moment he asked me something about what I just said, not knowing the answer so I think he’s not paying attention. Does he get angry? sometimes yes, he does but I realize it’s not him speaking. He’s lost his patience a little bit especially driving in the car the minute we get any starts yelling at people the way they drive although he’s always been like that. It seems to be more pronounced. He is not taking any medication except for Xanax when needed for his anxiety and also Zoloft the lowest dose also for anxiety. one of the things we do at home as we play Scrabble or watch a Yankee game together or a movie together, take walks together visit the grandkids together, And cook together. These are all important things. Thank you for listening. One of the last things is that I hope you know you’re not alone. This is just the disease presenting itself. I do give him a lot of support nutrients for his brain and we eat a very clean diet and exercise a lot as these are all important. His neurologist told me not to bring up or say anything to him when he forgets because that could be stressful, and I’ve expressed this to our children as well. I hope you have a nice day.

About a year ago I learnt the hard way it is best to monitor anything to do with money or paying bills. I have always paid the main household bills and my husband just paid bills like his cell phone, car tax etc. I had no idea he was having any problems until he started complaining that his mobile phone provider had changed his phone number without his permission. It turned out that instead of renewing his annual plan online, he had signed up for a whole new subscription complete with new phone number. He insisted that this was not what he had done and complained that it was their website that was not working properly. It was a major tangle to sort out as apparently it could not be canceled. I now observe exactly what he is doing anytime he is paying any bills, and have made sure I can monitor all his individual accounts, including recently suggesting to him that I become a co-signer on his individual investment accounts which we have now done. I hope we have this aspect squared away, but I do wonder what is going to come out of left field next!

The always wondering what’s going to come next is so difficult. Thanks for sharing. ❤️

It sounds so similar to my situation. My hubby still can drive and gets groceries with a list but items are often missing from the list. He can cook meals but if it’s complicated he is anxious and the kitchen is a disaster. I help with the TV remote but as of today, he won’t let me help with his phone and passwords. I’m trying to monitor what’s important and not set him off into frustration. It’s an interesting balancing act. He’s working with a wonderful neuro psychologist and we have an appointment with a geriatric specialist later this month. Hopefully for some imaging. He’s on anti depressants which are helping a lot with the mood swings but nothing for the MCI. The comments on the forum as so helpful. Wishing you strength as well. ❤️

My computer was recently compromised as well and it’s a nightmare. I can’t imagine going through this with my spouses accounts. He is trying to update his passwords right now. I know how frustrating this can be without the challenge of MCI. I’m trying to be supportive during the process. I so admire you for working through it all. Big hugs.

Yes MCI has many similarities and differences as we are learning. I take 1 day at a time. And I try to keep him as happy as I can. I do things for myself too, like work part time, bicycle, rebounding and lots of proper breathing to help with my own stres, and I speak to a therapist every 3 weeks for talk therapy. I try to get some piano playing in as he likes to hear it. And he likes opera and oldies. He and I live alone in the home but our kids stay in touch as they are aware. We visit grand kids like 4x a week for an hour or so. I’m hoping he can stay where he is with MCI because all of these consistent things plus family, eating clean food, taking brain supplements is important.

Don’t know if you follow Brain Doctor who gives tips on reducing the effects of MCI, Alzheimer’s and dimentia but he is great. He has a practice too.
He’s on Facebook, IG and Tic Tok. Plus I am taking his Brain Supplements for myself too. Check him out - Dr Clint Steele. Enjoy your day!

You've figured out how to keep active; I feel like it's just my husband and I but we had a crisis in our house from the AC, had to move out, had to move everythign out, and we're in a rental. All while I'm trying to deal with his first infusion tomorrow. His one son is in denial I think, all the kids live a distance. It's a second marriage so you have the ups and down of a joined family. Our grandkids are so far away. We were supposed to go to Canada to see the one grandson icehockey. He's a goalie, but I had to cancel because of the infusion and whatever side effects tomorrow. I was afraid to fly with all going on. So for now, we're not doing Canada. My husband started Cerefolin, a brain supplment. I'll have to look at CLint Steele. the eating clean food is key, I believe in that too. I notice my husband's appetite isn't the same; that worries me. Everything worries me right now, It's just the fear of the unknown I think and feeling like we're gambling against time. THanks for your post. Quite helpful.