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I need help to come out of a relationship with a narcissist... please

Posted by sibo @sibo, Jun 19 2:37pm

How do I come out of a relationship with a narcissist? It's proving hard,I failed a number of times ,I'm tired, drained and confused....just how do I do it

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shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | Aug 14 6:33pm

A person who has not developed a Self (knowing who you are and sure of your actions in most circumstances) is like a sailboat with no keel and no rudder. Whatever breeze hits the sail, that's the direction the boat will go.
With a Self (keel, rudder and command of the sails) a person can set a true course for herself, and not get blown off course by the unpredictable and dangerous "winds" of the narcissist .
So, in dealing with another's pathology, a person needs to find and rely on their own dependable and reliable Self to keep from being shipwrecked by the narcissistic storm.
And then drop anchor ⚓️. 🙂

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diverdown1 | @diverdown1 | Aug 15 7:26am
In reply to @rubyslippers "I agree. Married 30 years to a Psychopath/Narcissist. Three beautiful sons, l regret not having the..." + (show)
Profile picture for rubyslippers @rubyslippers

I agree. Married 30 years to a Psychopath/Narcissist. Three beautiful sons, l regret not having the strength to leave much earlier. I still have PTSD that crops up. Last person was absolutely correct... They do not change... theu will say they adore you one minute and abuse you in every way the next. Pathological liars. Crocodile tears when it suits them. Its a sliding scale psychopathy wise... Do not underestimate what they can be capable of if thwarted. Always play the victim and it is your fault. Do not like to take responsibility for their actions or words if accused. Needs to always be about them.. if you find yourself walking on eggshells wondering how she/he will treat you today... Leave sooner rather than later. I was so 'in love' with my long time boyfriend then husband all the gaslighting left me feeling less than. Trust your instincts. They truly lack empathy and loyalty. Take good care and keep sharing.

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Well said and I also believe that most mental illness falls on a spectrum, especially "personality disorders." All psychopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are psychopaths...although sometimes it is hard to tell the difference, at least in my experience. Thank you for your post.

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celia16 | @celia16 | Aug 15 5:46pm
In reply to @rubyslippers "I agree. Married 30 years to a Psychopath/Narcissist. Three beautiful sons, l regret not having the..." + (show)
Profile picture for rubyslippers @rubyslippers

I agree. Married 30 years to a Psychopath/Narcissist. Three beautiful sons, l regret not having the strength to leave much earlier. I still have PTSD that crops up. Last person was absolutely correct... They do not change... theu will say they adore you one minute and abuse you in every way the next. Pathological liars. Crocodile tears when it suits them. Its a sliding scale psychopathy wise... Do not underestimate what they can be capable of if thwarted. Always play the victim and it is your fault. Do not like to take responsibility for their actions or words if accused. Needs to always be about them.. if you find yourself walking on eggshells wondering how she/he will treat you today... Leave sooner rather than later. I was so 'in love' with my long time boyfriend then husband all the gaslighting left me feeling less than. Trust your instincts. They truly lack empathy and loyalty. Take good care and keep sharing.

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Wow, sounds just like my ex! The kind of person who stayed up at night thinking of ways to ruin my happiness. Would not let me have an enjoyable holiday, vacation, special occasion. It had to be ruined to make him happy. I guess that’s what struck me as the oddest thing. Even if his good time would be ruined, it didn’t matter. His joy came from making me cry.

Oh, and lying! The man would lie when the truth would help him. Lol

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mikayla | @mikaylar | Aug 16 8:33am

Don't waste anymore energy and life on this person. Leave now!

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mkwong | @mkwong | Aug 16 3:27pm

Both a therapist and attorney (if appropriate) could be of tremendous help to guide, plan and prepare a separation.
You must take steps with confidence to avoid returning to the same pattern.

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