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Driving-and when to stop

Posted by 2me @2me, Aug 5, 2025

Hello,
My husband is an excellent driver. I feel very comfortable riding with him.
However, he is diagnosed MCI, and I see more memory and some cognitive changes daily. I dread the day he loses his independence, and can no longer drive to familiar places. Cars have always been a big deal in his life, having gotten his first, a ‘57 Chevy, “back in the day”.

I think I will know when “it is time”, and his doctors will help with that.
Is there an automatic driving test or something if he should be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at his next neurology checkup? (His sister had Alzheimer’s and a cousin also, so I’m fairly confident we are on that path, tho I pray I’m wrong).

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joanland | @joanland | Aug 6, 2025
In reply to @sueinmn "@2me Depending on where you live, there may be a few options. Talk to your doctor,..." + (show)
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@2me Depending on where you live, there may be a few options. Talk to your doctor, your state counsel on aging, your insurance agent or even AAA to locate one.

Perhaps you can take the AAA or AARP 55 Alive or similar safe driver program (in person, not online). If you do it together, no stigma for him, but you will be able to see how he does recognizing new features like roundabouts and responding to multiple things going on at once.

If you have access to a clinic/hospital that treats a lot of trauma/TBI patients, they may have a "driving evaluation" program. There are conversation, observation, computer and field (driving) components.

If neither resource is available, check with your state DMV about how to refer someone for a mandatory driver's test.

In the meantime - here are a few things I have found helpful -
Two sets of eyes in unfamiliar places, heavy traffic or construction zones. Not to backseat drive - and let him know you are available to chime in if he has a question about which lane, exit, etc.
In these situations turn down or turn off the radio to limit distractions.
Having and using the best auto technology you can afford - lane departure alerts, adaptive cruise control that automatically maintains safe distance, side warning lights of traffic approaching in your blind spot.

How is your husband accepting his diagnosis? Does he accept that there will be a time he needs to hand over the keys?

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My father did not accept that he was loosing the ability to drive safely, yet he was very proud of the fact he had never hurt anyone. When my mother, who hadn't been driving for several years, became alarmed at my father's inability to remember to "turn R at the next street", for example, I suggested that he have his driving ability checked by the Department of Motor Vehicles. Nothing happened. Finally, realizing that somebody needed to step in, I wrote to the DMV in the town where my parents lived. They called Dad in for a re-evaluation. He would be required to retake the knowledge part, i.e., the written part, of the driver exam. He relayed to us that he couldn't remember the question when he was to pick out the correct answer from multiple choice. He failed the test. He had three chances to pass it. He failed a second time, and said he was not going back again. My mom called me and asked me to come get their vehicle because Dad would forget that he no longer had a driver license if the car was still in the garage. I went that weekend and picked up their car so it was not a temptation for him to drive. He lived for seven or eight years after that with ever declining memory issues.

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judimahoney | @judimahoney | Aug 7, 2025

Just the driving test at the DMV. There are safety driving classes that AARP sponsors.

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