Managing Lifelong Mental Health as a Senior

Hi JJ I really really appreciate your opening up as I have some things similar to you. I would loose my medical
benefit if I were to marry. Yet this weekend and over the last 19 years. I decided that I would be in disobedience
in the eye's of God and its something I know God can not bless, living with someone. I know as Believers in Jesus Christ God's word
says that my purpose is to glorify God. I am in that tough spiritual situation that you speak of and I so much
can relate and thank you for sharing. I decided this week after much prayer (talking to God about the matter)
that I would remain in my home alone except when I choose to go out, then the issue is, if I am seen with
another man, it is considered adultery.........so. It is me and God walking this life. He did not make us to isolate
ourselves from others. God himself made man to communicate with. All must make their own decisions
and deserve the love of others. David Jeremiah.....this week " God loves you, He always has and He always will."
Eliz

No worries, Tallygirl. Connect shouldn't be another chore to add the never-ending list. We'll still be here when you're ready to write.
Rest well.

jjwest- thanks for sharing what's on your heart and your mind- I wouldn't worry how you say things, just say what's your feeling in your spirit and your heart- I think we have to honest with ourselves and others first ( even if it sounds bad-) to work our way up, to a positive outcome. Make sense I hope? You know all of us, who are hurting with loss or disease, need a friend daily to talk with and to be completely honest- no matter how it sounds- to me that's a true friend, not judging, not telling me how I should act or talk( if it is off color- I will hear that myself as I share and begin to chance my own behavior. I'm really sorry about the loss of your husband, we never forget some one we love ( like a spouse, child, Sister or Brother-or a really good friend. yes, it will get better with time, but time won't stop the memories, it will just help us deal with them better and they will become less disabling). Parkinson's you ask about- I have had it three years now, there is many side affects- but it also depends on the person. I don't shake as much- but I have a real problem with balance, falling once in awhile, eating, a dry and burning mouth-at times. There is much more, look at the Parkinson's site under " The National Foundation for Parkinson's" they list many-many side affect and things we need to be aware of. Hope that's a little help-Gods Blessings and you are in my prayers. jjames

HEY TALLYGIRL,...give yourself a break girl! all will happen in it's time. Making a list is wonderful, but try not to become a slave to it. One baby step at a time and let yourself celebrate each step, even if it is two steps forward and on step back. rest lady...and come back as soon as you feel like it.
PEACE & LOVE...JJ

hopeful, just read your post 🙂 now tag you are it. 🙂 I don't go to church anymore, I don't have the courage to see judgmental faces or hear remarks about living with someone and not be legally married. I used to have a Stephen Minister when I was in Austin, but here in this very little town, there aren't any that I have found. What is NAMI?? I have not heard of it. You are right once a Stephens Minister you always are, the skills you learned helps you in so many ways, and sometimes I realize I am using them and not be aware of it. I remember the folks in my life that I have interacted with and all the teens who still till this day call me mom,when I see them. But I find myself hiding from them. I have lived with fear for so long and some days I just say the h..with it I am going to do something and not to worry about it. I do it every so often, but then crawl right back in my cage. I cannot seem to stay with anything for very long, I play the keyboard...sometimes, I paint with acrylics....some times, I play the guitar...sometimes... I do read a lot, and I sleep a lot. Cannot sleep at night so I end up sleeping in the daytime, and that makes my angry with myself. I would love to have a passion for something,,,that seems to be something I would really enjoy. Thanks for "Listening" it's nice to find someone who has a clue.
PEACE 7 LOVE ...JJ

johnjames, you are a treasure young man. You are younger than I am 🙂 Thank you for the very kind words..Keep sharing....it's wonderful
PEACE & LOVE JJ

@jjwest Thanks for your reply! You asked about NAMI. NAMI stands for the National Alliance on Mental Illness. NAMI is a nationwide organization that offers educational opportunites and support groups for folks who suffer from mental illness as well as their family members. Wonderful group of people. They usually have educational meetings where they have speakers in the area who discuss mental illness and talk about new developments in treatments and research being done for mental illness conditions. If you google "NAMI" you can find a support group in your area. One other thing that NAMI does is educate churches on mental illness and how their congregations can support those with mental illness (isn't that great!!). A group came to our church and the Stephen Ministry opened the meeting up to the entire congregation. It was wonderful. Hope this is a good day for you. Blessings to you! Teresa

Hi, @jjwest. I'm a retired minister, but please don't stop reading what I write just because that's my label. Lol. I have learned over the course of my 66 years lessons from both sides of the pulpit. My father and grandfather were also ministers, but again, please don't hold that against me.

I've known other people in your position, and I don't believe there's any reason to kick you out of the fold. One of the things I've learned is that there are critical, mean, judgmental, hypocritical, holier than thou people in every group of people, connected with a church or not. At the same time, as you know, there are nice, accepting, loving people in each of those gatherings of humans. I can tell that you have certainly been one of the good ones.

I don't remember a lot of my childhood, but I do remember my father admonishing us to look for the good in people, usually after we've just said something negative about someone. I've not always followed that code, but I do try to remember it from time to time.

Maybe 20 years ago, my sister was living with a man not her husband. It was complicated. Her prior husband had cancer, and if they got divorced, he wouldn't have insurance, so she put that technicality on hold. When he died, she did formally marry. But neither she nor her husband liked the arrangement, so, they talked with our father, and he performed an ecclesiastical wedding ceremony. It wasn't a binding or legal marriage, but she and Gordon felt better. (And I think it made our parents feel better, too.) It's something you might consider, if you can find a minister agreeable to it. It's unfortunate that government regulations force us to do things that are contrary to our conscience.

Do you feel guilty or shamed because of your depression and any other mental issues? I know that can happen, even though the guilt is undeserved.

Jim

Thanks hopeful,johnjames,&jimhd.....thanks for caring...sounds kind of canned doesn't it? But it is meant sincerely. I have convinced myself that I am not depressed, but when I look at how I feel and think, and sleep all the time, I am wondering. I don't think I feel guilty about ever being depressed,not now, I did when I was deep in its hold. my cardiologist put me on Zoloft, and it has helped like a miracle. I don't cry all the time, or get down about dying. There are so many things that contribute to depression, loss, getting older, being disabled,PAIN, children are too busy to visit, Most of the time I am able to handle things pretty good, just every once in a while it all seems to pile up all at once. So far I have been able to fight it off, mostly. I got on this site because I hoped to find a group of Seniors who are struggling and they would share with me how they cope, and how they "feel" about things. I believe I have found that place., now if I can give as much or more, that will be awesome.
PEACE & LOVE....JJ

@jjwest I understand your hesitancy to go to church based on the judgmental attitudes of some. Churches can be very tough on folks. They miss the compassion of Jesus. Try to remember that not all churches are judgmental, there just might be a healthy church for you nearby. Teresa