Managing Lifelong Mental Health as a Senior

Hi All, in response to John James's post, my safe place has to be believing that there is something bigger than this world that loves me! ME. When I had triple by pass surgery, I had an experience, and it left me with KNOWING that love is the most important thing in this life, and that I am LOVED!..truly, without exception, pure unconditional love....it has been the most freeing thing in my life. When the pain....physical or mental come on, I remind myself of how LOVED I am and it brings me peace. Tell someone you love them today and mean it.!!!! So to all here
I wish you PEACE & LOVE.....jj

To me, that sounds like the Holy Spirit. That's how I feel when I'm hiking. I feel love and I believe it's the Holy Spirit.

georgette- I will be writing more to you-tomorrow afternoon, I had eye surgery today and can see a little out of one eye. But I wanted you to know How sorry I'am for (all) your loss- I have loss good buddies from the last two wars-to suicide, but losing a family member is far worse and it never goes away, but I believe we can learn to live on with a life that will help others-as we try and find joy and meaning in the time we have left here on Gods Earth. We have suicide support groups in the Military- but it really comes down to one other friend( what we call a Battle buddy- to work with, have coffee together and hold each other accountable- plus have some fun together also. God knows in this world we need a real friend that we can count on- and who will love us unconditional. I know God loves me that way always, but as a human He made us ( I believe) to still need love from another human (S) while we are here-to help carry our burden. Thank you for sharing- that takes allot of courage and care for yourself and for others, If any of us can help-please ask ( you are not a burden and Colleen will help with the process) OK. in my prayers JJAMES

I have always wanted to feel the "knowing" that you express. I feel that might give me some peace. I know people have experiences while under anethesia and also at other times. If you feel comfortable sharing your experience, that would be nice. But, that is an awfully personal thing, i know. I am so glad that you can feel peace.....cherish it. Hugs

Gail, it takes a lot of guts to work at coming out of yourself.....especially BEING yourself. The inch worm method is a very creative idea. I have a different way. I just naturally trust someone until they give me a reason not to. And as we get to know each other, we share more and more. There have been times that trusting someone turned out to be a bad idea. But that doesnt happen much. My husband is the opposite. He trusts noone. Unless they give him reason to trust. The problem with that is if you dont trust anyone, then that doesnt give anybody a chance to trust you. They wont get close enough to even know you. So my husband is a loner and i am not. When i do have a bad experience with someone i have trusted, my husband tells me that i shouldnt have trusted in the first place. My answer is.......i would much rather have trusted and been burned, than not having trusted at all.

I just realized that in the previous post i talked about trust....not "safe". To me, trust and safe are not exactly the same. There are people that i trust and feel completely safe with....but then there are people i feel safe with, but dont trust them to deal with my emotions. And various aspects of that.
I dont think it is at all unusual to feel safe in a fox hole. Especially if your buddies are huddled in their with you.
In terms of where do i feel safe in a crisis. If it is my own crisis, i do not have a safe place. Well, i guess that's why my valium crisis happened.
Since my son died, i barely feel safe in my own body much less having a safe place in a crisis.
I am thinking there are a lot of possibilities on this topic to discuss.

@jjwest
I'm the only one of six siblings who hasn't had back problems and various kinds of surgery. I have idiopathic peripheral neuropathy - not sure if they call it idiopathic because that's easier than searching for a reason - but I do know that it's not diabetic. I fell around ten feet 5 years ago, and had 3 compression fractures in my lower back and broke an arm. I retired from being a pastor ten years ago, and over the last ten years of pastoring, I also painted houses. I have painted from time to time all of my adult life. It's possible that the fall and the years of going up and down ladders contributed to the nerve damage causing the burning nerve pain in my feet. I have an appointment with the pain psychologist next week, to get approved for implanting of a spinal cord stimulator. I'm really hoping it will help. I wore a heart monitor for two weeks, and it told me that I have supra ventricular tachycardia, so I'm starting another medication for that. It could help the neuropathy, as well, according to my pcp who talked about the heart problem today. Of course, there are interactions with other meds I take. I guess that's inevitable. It could raise the level of Cymbalta in my system, which would probably be a good thing.

What do I do, where do I go to find a safe place. .. Hmmm. I always sense peace and safety when I'm in church. In the summer, I spend a lot of time working in the yard and in the pasture. I enjoy doing that. Sitting in my recliner, reading or knitting or surfing is restful. Lately, I haven't felt completely safe. I think Georgette used the phrase, passive suicidal ideation. That's a pretty good description of how I usually feel. Lying in bed, next to my wife is a good place to be. Having Sadie curled up next to me and in my lap is therapeutic. (Sadie is my service dog.) Or lying with her snuggled up to me, with her head resting on me, holding and petting her.

I'm thankful for this group, where I can say what's going on in my brain without judgment or unsolicited advice. There just aren't solid answers to some of our struggles. Or maybe I should say quick or easy answers. In most settings, the quickest way to kill conversation is to use the word suicide.

Jim

What I did once- along time ago, was take a piece of paper and write down all the places in my past I thought of- as a safe place. Maybe you could think about doing that. But I know from experience that when I was all alone in the jungles of Viet Nam- I never felt safe-even when I was on our base camp. Now I have a small ( extra bedroom in our home-I turn into my office and all my military collections. I also put a lock on the door, for no real reason but at times I wanted to feel safe-when everyone was gone. I go there to think, read,pray and use mu computer. I think we all need somewhere in our home to make our own little safe place. Give it some thought and list for yourself ( from years past-what do you remember as a safe place just for you?). I pray more than one idea will come to mind. May God surround your room with His Peace.- I hope it's ok with you I wrote that, JJAMES

Boy- that sounds right on- couldn't agree more. Thanks for sharing. JJAMES

I was going to quit interacting with the group, but I had a thought that I want to share. Of course, I can only speak for myself. The last thing I want to do when I'm close to acting on the suicidal thoughts is to tell someone. I'm not going to call the suicide hotline or a friend or a counselor. I know they'd try to stop me. I'm not thinking rationally at that point, and logic doesn't mean anything. It also doesn't help to be reminded that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Or some other such statement. When I'm in a safe place, I'm thinking rationally, and understand all of the reasons for living.

The one thing that I can do when I'm in an unsafe place is to tell myself to wait an hour, or wait until tomorrow. I can now look forward to something that I don't want to miss, like seeing my granddaughter, and put off ending my life.

Jim