I am a very sad caregiver who has posted on this site before…

Several of you mention getting comfort and understanding through these posts, and I do, too. But even better is finding peers undergoing similar challenges. I organized a group of five acquaintances whose husbands all have dementia, and our meetings every two weeks give us a safe place to vent, laugh and cry together. I think we all feel better afterward. Two women have to hire caregivers so they can get away, but it’s worth it to them. Find your tribe!

Sounds wonderful, @pierwell I wish I could have done this during my caregiving years but my wife’s anxiety levels and care demands wouldn’t have allowed it. It’s why I found Connect in the very beginning of our journey. Great that your community has come together like this!
Strength, Courage, & Peace

How did you find them, i found the dementia/Alzheimer’s meeting not very personable. I stopped going because there is 20 people and it only lasts 90 minutes hardly long enough to get to know anyone.

Do others of you just constantly have that nervousness in the pit of your stomach? I just got off the telephone with my 89-year-old brother who does have dementia - many health issues in the past, but overall doing quite well. We talk and see each other often, we are only 20 minutes apart in the same town. However, her conversations are disjointed and as it goes, her cognition is going downhill more so these past few months. she is still in a “independent living room however if I did not do her medicine, help her with appointments and other things she will certainly be considered assisted-living. I don’t even want to consider memory care down the road! The point being, anytime there is change with her. I get so worried - like my phone call with her this morning regarding her being so tired and bathroom issues as of this past week …anyway, as we say, I just keep trying to say the serenity prayer.
I really am not a downer type of person so excuse if these last posts I’ve seemed that way. I wish all a good day.!

Big groups can be overwhelming, but that’s where I found the 5 women whom I wanted to know better. Surely you know other caregivers (neighbors, church, etc.). Don’t be shy; ask if they’d like to meet for coffee and conversation.

I actually don’t know anyone who is a caregiver and the group I went to seemed to be very clicky.

Hi @karen8, short of living with your sibling, you can't be there 24/7 to provide support and guidance. Is it possible to get some in-home help for your sibling now? Either through a private or public program/agency?
My mother took care of my father at home until his dementia progressed to the point where he had to go into a nursing home. Then her own health deteriorated.
My mother-in-law went into a nursing home for health reasons, not related to any kind of dementia , and she thrived there because it was a social environment.
If you can find a good placement, you will have some peace of mind that your loved one is being cared for 24/7.
I've been caregiving for my husbnd with Alzheimer's for the last seven years. He still functions pretty well, but when I am no longer able to care for him, I know he will have to go into a care home, and I'm okay with that.

Hey!
Hang in there, it's so hard!
My husband and I cared for his parents until they passed away last fall. It got worse and worse over the years, they lived on their own for a while, actually in an independent living place before covid but then we helped them ESCAPE during covid or that fall, got them a little house and they could still drive and do stuff locally, but I would take them to far away doctor's appointments and shop for major things.
Grandpa had dementia and it got a LOT worse during covid, at their little house, he'd wander outside sometimes if grandma didn't watch him.... She got weaker and thinner and after getting her battery in her pacemaker replaced, she really got worse, in an out of hospitals many times, also she had no patience for him at the end. We had them live with us for a few weeks but then we all lost our minds and moved them back to their house- which was 8 min from us, then my husband, who had jut gotten laid off, was over there cooking and cleaning for them every day, eventually we hired a CNA to come and help, and my in-laws were ok at night after dinner, to just watch TV and go to bed (and wake up at midnight for ice cream!) until they weren't, when my mother in law ended up in the hospital one night- actually a few times, so they needed to be watched 24/7, a nursing home was too expensive because my in-laws had money- he was a retired doctor! so the CNA stepped in and said she could live there M-F and my husband did Friday to Monday! it worked for a while, I was the errand person, while taking take of our 4 children, homeschooling etc. My in-laws ended up in hospice care last summer and got worse and worse, they both passed away in the fall- 11 days apart!
Then in February my husband got diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer! a total shock with hardly any symptoms other than peeing frequently, but we thought that was just part of getting older, though he's young for having prostate cancer. he's 55. There's no cure, but they do what they can to make his life longer.... I told my mom in Denmark (I was born there) she was in a nursing home there and wasn't in good health at all, the news hit her hard that she was in and out of the hospital too and passed away 2 weeks later!
So 3 deaths within a year, a terminal diagnosis for my husband!
It's been tough, but we keep the faith and know it's all part of God's plan, I'll be ok as a widow, my kids are here, two are young adults, bills will get paid and so far my husband is ok....he's active and does stuff around the house, but he's weaker and a bit more tired but tries to push through! He's chemically castrated because of the cancer, so no sex life! and he's started chemo and hair started falling out, otherwise he doesn't look sick!
I don't know how many years we'll have, we always thought he had longevity on his side as his parents died in their 90s! We'll see, maybe this is "just" a bump in the road, a test of faith? To make us focus on the Lord?
Hang in there.....big HUG!

I also just read Viktor Frankl and found it a life saver! Uplifting! Thank you for sharing.

Well this is embarrassing- but I realize in my above comment “ …. Constant anxiety pit of stomach …”
I TYPED my BROTHER and I MEANT my MOTHER - 89 year old 🙃 !!! For Pete sake - ?!