Biopsy confirmed: I have squamous cell carcinoma

Thank you for that NY Times link. The woman mentioned started at about the same time as I did as a "picker"- 12 or 13, and came from a chaotic household. In my case a broken marriage due to an alcoholic father. Kids become anxious and find ways of coping. Especially as an only child, it becomes easy to blame yourself for the chaos around you. It's like, "What have I done wrong"?, and then you punish yourself for decades on end. I read somewhere online that the condition was thought to mostly afflict women, but newer studies had shown that the split is 55% women /45% men. Like I had mentioned, I let all this pass for decades as I helped to raise two children, then the Mohs surgery brought all these feelings of shame, anxiety and self consciousness out all over again.
In terms of recommendations, there is a Dermatillomania Support Group on Facebook, with some scary pictures, but also some good advice from people who have the condition and coping with it the best they can. Many are in therapy, and there are a range of anti-depressant drugs. My family practice doctor gave me a script for Lexapro, but I have refused to take it because of the myriad side effects, with sleeplessness being one. I already have sleep issues, so I take Ambien. Too many drugs being mixed isn't a good thing. Many doctors aren't up to date on drug interactions.

@jc76, @19sfca47, @bluelizard and all of us facing a cancer diagnosis of any kind, myself included - totally on board with the mental aspects that accompany such a diagnosis. It can become all encompassing.

There is a link through Mayo that addresses this: https://cancereducation.mayoclinic.org/depressed-mood/index.html.

I've gotten a lot out of the monthly Melanoma Support Groups offered through Mayo Connect held on the second Tuesday of every month facilitated by an LCSW on staff, open to all, not only people treating at Mayo Clinic. I'm going to add that link.

The application of vasoline is a great idea to cut down on the habit of picking, which can, at least in part, be caused by anxiety. Has anyone found any other forms of support to address accompanying reactions, including depression?

@19sfca47 I'm glad you found the NYT article helpful or at least were able to relate to it. That's a a big step to have insight as to the underlying cause of a BFRB - Body-focused repetitive behavior as noted in the article.

Antidepressants have definitely been an aid to many people, and Ambien can be a useful sleep remedy although my understanding of it is that it's used mainly on an intermittent basis. Is this how you rely on it to a get a good night's sleep?

There's also a link on sleep hygiene through Mayo: https://diet.mayoclinic.org/us/blog/2022/healthy-habits-for-a-better-night-s-sleep/ Have you found any of these methods to be beneficial?

@19sfca47 My dear ol'dad (and I say that most lovingly) used to say he'd look in the mirror and wonder who the old guy was gazing back at him -- when he was a spry 99! And lately I have to admit I've found that happening to me as well < >>

Grandchildren can keep us young but at 3 and 4 they're at an age where they can start learning some tact and sensitivity with what and how they say things. I speak from experience as my youngest one is also 4; my oldest is 14 so I've heard some rather stinging comments myself, also expressed innocently but can be hurtful as we see - and feel - ourselves aging.

I've tried to provide some guidance to my grandkids in how to speak to us elders using what I learned when working: the so-called "sandwich response" - framing what I'm saying between two positive comments. So in the case of when they notice signs of aging, acknowledge that with something like, "You've noticed I'm not young like your mom or dad anymore, even thought I often feel that way" then "When someone tells me these things look wrong when it's just part of getting older, it hurts my feelings, and can hurt the feelings of other older people who look like this" and ending with "I've become a lot smarter now that I'm older. What do you think you'll like when you get older?" I've actually found that helps them reflect more on what they've said, the impact it's has and how they'll feel when they'll inevitably age.

Do you see how that spin on things might help ease the sting?

@bluelizard Sleep can be tricky with an incision like that. From your other post, it also sounds like you have a good dr/patient relationship with your dermatologist and good network of friends in your community. I'm going to be traveling from Thursday through Sunday but will be anxious to hear how your follow up goes on Thursday.
Will you keep me posted?

I haven't had a decent night's sleep in many decades. I use 10mg of Ambien every night having started it in the last 8 months. It gets me to sleep initially, but it's fairly mild, so my sleep, at best, is fitful. Sleeping and waking repeatedly I probably get a total of about 5 hours. My mother used it every night for the last 15 years of her life. I inherited that nervous, restless disposition. Just too many things going through my mind to worry about. I've seen that Mayo sleep article before and practice some of the suggestions, but without much success.
As for grand kids that remark of hers was just a one off. The grandkids see how I get up out of a chair and walk on a knee replacement, so they know not to comment "Grandpa, you're so old"!. What makes me feel old in having a new heat pump put in the house where the thermostat can be set using wifi if you choose that option, The App set up on the Iphone confuses me to no end. I prefer the old fashioned way where the thermostat is operated manually, andI will just continue that way. Sorry, I know, this is far afield from skin cancer,
but. . .

@grammato3
I too lost track of how many BCCs I have had. The only number I remember is 1 for SCC. I never get out of a dermatology visit without burning off pre cancers or getting another biopsies.

I had been seeing one dermatologist at Mayo Jacksonville for years. Developed a good relationship and knew anything I was concerned with would be addressed including all my body check. I have a new dermatologist who I am getting familiar with but does a very thorough check of my body which impresses me.

Two of my BCCs left some visible scars. One on my chest which was the first BCC I had and had ignored it for years left a long scar. It was not MOHS surgery. The second is somewhat indent in my upper nose where I had MOHS surgery but only I see it.

I too are what I referr to myself as a picker. It is habit of scratching or picking at something that is raised on your skin. Don't even know I am doing it but then it bleeds. My dermatologist knows this now and burns them off. I try not to rub or scratch them but hard to do.

Any cancer (I was treated for prostate cancer in 2023) including skin cancer is something that is not just physical but mental. You mental health needs to be addressed and treated if needed just as much as your physical health. I found Mayo works as a team and I do see a pyschiatric medications specialist.

The one thing I found to help reduce picking is vasoline. After every biopsies and burn off was directed to use vasoline which helps skin heal from below and not form scabs. This helps prevent external feel of a scab. So wha I have been doing in conjuction with this is to apply vasoline to those scratches and spots I have a tendency to scratch as the vasoline makes it a smooth feeling and not something raised to scratch at.

I haven't had a decent night's sleep in many decades. I use 10mg of Ambien every night having started it in the last 8 months. It gets me to sleep initially, but it's fairly mild, so my sleep, at best, is fitful. Sleeping and waking repeatedly I probably get a total of about 5 hours. My mother used it every night for the last 15 years of her life. I inherited that nervous, restless disposition. Just too many things going through my mind to worry about. I've seen that Mayo sleep article before and practice some of the suggestions, but without much success.
As for grand kids that remark of hers was just a one off. The grandkids see how I get up out of a chair and walk on a knee replacement, so they know not to comment "Grandpa, you're so old"!. What makes me feel old in having a new heat pump put in the house where the thermostat can be set using wifi if you choose that option, The App set up on the Iphone confuses me to no end. I prefer the old fashioned way where the thermostat is operated manually, andI will just continue that way. Sorry, I know, this is far afield from skin cancer,
but. . .