Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment

Posted by rhongirl @rhongirl, Aug 23, 2022

While I was diagnosed in Dec. 2019, chemo, cancer surgery, and four more surgeries took place over the next 2 1/2 years (one of which was a second cancer surgery). I'm 6 weeks out from my last surgery, feeling somewhat normal physically, but wading through the emotional aftermath. "What just happened to me?" I told my husband that I've spent the past 2 1/2 years trying to stay alive - and I'm exhausted. Exaggerated emotions with up-and-down mood swings. . . I find myself yearning for that sense of emotional equilibrium I had before this all began. I'm doing my best to give myself time for this part of the healing - but I find myself weary. Family and friends look at me like I'm fine now, and the trauma has passed - but the truth is, I am not fine on the inside. It's as if my body is trying to reboot emotionally, and its short-circuiting a bit. I am so goal-oriented. . . if I just had that "magic" date of when everything would be normal again, I could focus on that; but it doesn't work that way. I have to be patient with this portion of the healing - and I'm finding that hard. What are others' experiences with this? How long does it take for your emotions to settle from the trauma of breast cancer?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.

Profile picture for lznielsen @lznielsen

I completely agree with the cancer PTSD. I had IDC in 2021. I was told it was caught very early and that my chance of recurrence was very, very low. I was told to be thankful, and I tried. Fast forward to 2024 and I was diagnosed with bone mets. Stage IV cancer is rough, its lonely and treatment has become a full time job. Although I grieve the life I no longer have, I am thankful for every additional day I am given.

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@lznielsen, fellow members have written about PTSD and cancer in these related discussions too:

- PTSD and learning to cope living with cancer https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/ptsd-learning-to-cope/
- Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/facing-cancer-recurrence-ptsd-acknowledging-mental-health/
- Likely metastatic lobular cancer: How do you deal with fear, PTSD? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/most-likely-mbc-ilc/

I believe grief and gratitude can co-exist. I'm glad you're here to share your experience.

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My emotions have been all over also. I had so many shocks, or surprises as I went through the phases of diagnosis and finding it aggressive enough for chemo. Didn't start out that way. The AI drugs, I think, have an emotional effect on me too. I have very recently confided with a trusted friend and have talked with a psychologist. I plan to continue with that for a while. I felt better after the counselor visit. You aren't alone. Don't hesitate to reach out for some help.

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Profile picture for clh71 @clh71

I also had a huge hematoma. I felt horrible. It took a very long time for it to go away. I think depression and sadness goes along with it all. Your body goes through a huge change. Be kind to yourself. Honestly, I think the only way I got through it was because of my husband and friends. They were like my cheerleaders. My surgery was in 2023. My risk of getting breast cancer again is high. Do you have a very good friend to talk to?

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In addition to my husband, who has been very empathetic and encouraging, almost all of my friends at the gym are guys, but a couple I've shared my bad news with, including the owner of the gym, have been encouraging as well. Oddly, the few female friends I usually chat with are sympathetic to a degree but seem like they don't want to talk about it.

I'm wondering if anyone here can advise me on how to scout out a counselor who might be helpful. Where should I begin my search?

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Profile picture for lisman1408 @lisman1408

Hoping you can read the article below that I posted, by just clicking on it. If not, try a copy and paste into your browser.

I’m glad you’ve joined us on this website message board. We’re all in this together and the support from everyone is wonderful!
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/10/176194/life-after-breast-cancer-survivor-story

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Thank you, this article is perfect. I am currently in the middle of chemo for my 2nd round of cancer (did not have to have it the first time, only (only!) a mastectomy and radiation) and I'm having a hard time with it. I'm saving it so I can pass it on when I feel up to it.
Thanks again.

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https://www.breastcancer.org/research-news/many-women-have-ptsd-symptoms-after-dx
It took three months before I had answers about what was going to happen to me. My first encounter was with a nurse practitioner who was new and very nervous, she picked at her shirt the entire appointment. She scheduled the biopsy the next day without asking and without a pre-approval from insurance. When I asked for a pre-approval it was 2-4 days. The biopsy was a horrible experience. I was put in the machine compressed for a long time, they then realized I had not signed the consent and pulled out of the machine. I was wheeled over to sign without my glasses and too far away to read. Then put back in the machine and compressed, they called the DR. twice, no show. The tech then went out into the hall, twice, to find the Dr. I was compressed the entire time. By this time I'm sobbing as it hurt like hell. This was my start of a really bad experience into breast cancer. There was a surgical mistake made and indifference by not only the surgeon and the clinic.

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