Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

Yes I didn't feel that way till I turned 69. It's horrible. It doesn't help that my part-time job is a caregiver for Visiting Angels puts me in touch with people that are really old and I see what happens and what's coming for me it really really sucks I cannot give you any good advice all my friends around the same age say you accept it and move on the best that you can

Amen!

Beautiful. I wish so much I had your strength. I'm busy dying.

Hi,
I'm so pleased to hear of your having faith in God and Jesus even with all of your physical problems! You are so right! God is always there for us. Sometimes it's hard to remember but all we have to do is ask.

I'm sorry you are twice widowed. That is sad. I am 79 and my husband died in July, 2024. However, I know that eventually in God's time, we'll both be with our husbands again in Heaven. My husband and I had no children together. He had three boys from his first marriage who didn't like me. (I wouldn't let them use the "F" word in our home.) They knew their father had cancer but didn't come to see him. I have one son from my first marriage whom I haven't seen in 20 years. But like you said I have God and Jesus and that's what keeps me going. I talk to God everyday and read the Bible every night. I'll say a prayer for you that your physical problems go away and you feel good again.
I wish you the best.
PML

It helps to be around younger people once in a while. When my 23 year old granddaughter visits I feel uplifted for days.

Welcome to Mayo Connect where we have many people in various stages of life, who are willing to chat about what is going on in your life.
You say "I'm busy dying. " Do you want to talk about it?

Both physical and emotional slide down a slippery slope. Usually together. For when one goes so does the other. I am disabled but not to the extent you have. Looking at yourself as a “bent freak” screams volumes that your state of mind. Back issues are terrible. Painful to get around. Hard to sleep. Some mechanical means to help out might be a walker or cane. You can leverage possibly helping your posture in the process. PT or back exercises can help with facet joints and muscles stretching. Injections can help though personally I never had much success with this. Good for the short term but wears off quickly. Getting old before your time is a difficult situation. Arthritis and stiffness are part of the equation. Aspirin or what ever OTC pain relievers that are available may help some. But the degree you’re going through I do not think they would be much help. State of mind and staying positive thru adversity can be challenging with any chronic condition. There are support groups out there that are geared for this. Mental health providers. Resource personnels. It’s a big world. You don’t have to face this on your own. .

Please note, all posts are seen by all members who are active in this discussion. If you wish to contact a member privately, please use the private message. To private message a member, click their name and send a private message. See more tips in the Help Center https://connect.mayoclinic.org/help-center/

Please read the Community Guidelines (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/) These 12 short rules of conduct keep the Mayo Clinic Connect community safe, supportive, inclusive, and respectful.

Note guideline number 2 and 4.
2. Be inclusive. Not everyone shares the same religious or political beliefs. Don't impose your beliefs on others.
4. Stay on topic.

Some posts have been removed. For members who wish to continue the conversation about spirituality and healing, please see this discussion:
- How Spirituality Can Help Stress & Healing https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-spirituality-can-help-stress/

Simple kindnesses can help make someone's day, such as smiling.
Yet in this big city, people going everywhere find traveling security in having no passers-by have anything to do with them, even a suspicious smile.
You were blessed to find someone receptive to a smile, sad 💔 to say.
Random kindnesses can be hard to get well received without suspicion of weird intention.

I feel old and useless at 72. I have chronic pain problems--migraines and spinal (scoliosis and degenerative disk disease) issues. I try to ignore the feeling that I'm just sitting around trying to idle the time away while hoping to die of my father's massive heart attack (I take heart meds). I've fought anxiety and depression for probably all my life. My anxiety is paralyzing. It prevents me from taking any steps at all, physical or mental. I feel very much stuck and frozen and worried all the time. My husband is 5 years older than I. I have the feeling that if he died before me, I would end my life the next day because I do not do "solitary" well at all. I'm not resilient like a particular friend of mine, who's made it clear that she will not be of any reliable help should my husband predecease me. There's so much byzantine paperwork on top of the crippling grief--I just could not survive that. I realize that some people might find this a drastic mindset, but to me it feels reassuring. I don't want to crumble away and lose my mind and health and faculties and functions. I don't want to die slowly, in pieces. I dread that with all my being. I worry so much about finances. Heck, I can't afford to be in my 80s, forking over $8,400 (or so) in out-of-pocket medical expenses every year (I read about this just recently in a reliable publication; this was an estimate for women in their 80s) just to stay alive and alone and unhappy. This just seems to be my fated life scenario, and there's nothing I can do about it--I can't work, don't drive... I know I'm overdependent on my husband, and that scares me very much. I have no family of my own nearby--I have 2 sisters, both in states 2,000 miles away. It just seems that life is a real gamble, and that one loses every single time. While I know that psychotherapy might be useful, I simply cannot afford it. No psychotherapists around take Medicare, if Medicare even covers mental health. Heck, no psychotherapists around take insurance of nearly any sort. And I can't afford $120 and upwards for individual sessions... I have worked hard all my life, and I feel humiliated and poor. The latest national budget steals from me to give to the wealthy and greedy. Our country is losing compassion by the minute; it's becoming a nightmare, and, frankly, I see no silver linings whatsoever...