1. < Aging Well

Cannot die in hospital even if you beg to.

Posted by slkanowitz @slkanowitz, May 11 6:37am

I recently went to hospital by ambulance because of intractable 10 level pain and I have had so many severe illnesses I had just had it with life and wanted to die. I’m DNR status. I begged everyone to let me go but they wouldn’t and ended up overdosing me on opioids for the pain to point I saw the tunnel of light but couldn’t go through it. They reversed the opioids with Narcan. The hospital staff determined my destiny and here I am. It’s their job to keep everyone alive no matter what you want or how terrible your quality of life will be. I guess my work here on earth is not done yet. Just consider this information if you’re ever in this situation as you will have no control of your fate in a hospital. I have seen this happen to others and it is sad we can’t make these choices for ourselves. Who knows what outcome is best. Perhaps God? Just want to plant seeds for thought for anyone in a similar situation.

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rashida | @rashida | May 14 5:29pm
In reply to @kayraymat "Well, I guess often, someone who is close to death does not want to eat or..." + (show)
@kayraymat

Well, I guess often, someone who is close to death does not want to eat or drink, so their response would be different.
It just seems forcing a person to eat when they don't want
to seems cruel.

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@kayraymat unless the patient has specifically refused sustenance - and even then the person may not be in the right frame of mind to make the decision, or afraid to eat/drink because of dysphasia - they could be fed intravenously.

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1 reply
standinginfaith | @standinginfaith | May 17 3:33pm

I had a DNR which the hospital here in Oklahoma advised me to do years ago.. then when I was in the hospital in Arkansas they asked me if I had one and I said yes..and they were appalled!!.. and asked if I'd like to revoke it.. they even sent in the director of the hospital into my room to really push revoking it..and so I revoked it..they said "what if we're doing surgery and you just quit breathing and then we can't do anything ..but we could have saved you.. ".. they were mad at the hospital in Oklahoma that had talked me into it..my precious husband had to get one when we were at the VA in Fayetteville AR before they would put him on hospice.. he was on hospice for 21 days.. and I took care of him 24/7 they only came once a day and if I need them and they had already come.. wouldn't come back.. it was very hard .. he had made me promise not to let anyone see him.. so he passed in the living room..me and him and Jesus..I've been really ill for about 5 years (stomach issues) and almost passed several times.. I go to the hospital in Arkansas now because they are soo bad here..even the ambulance driver said .."don't go there.." I wonder if I should get another DNR..I don't want the hospital director to get mad at me...I've learned NOT to make medical professionals mad.. just go away quietly..I can still see my husband in the bed in the living room..15 years later.. hardest thing I've even done..but so glad he went first...because I loved him more than I love myself..(later hospice said I should have overdosed him on his morphine..I didn't know you could do that...shocking!! I accounted for every med they gave him when they came back after he passed..I wouldn't think you could do that..it might be illegal.. but that's what they told me)

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2 replies
rashida | @rashida | May 17 4:39pm
In reply to @standinginfaith "I had a DNR which the hospital here in Oklahoma advised me to do years ago....." + (show)
@standinginfaith

I had a DNR which the hospital here in Oklahoma advised me to do years ago.. then when I was in the hospital in Arkansas they asked me if I had one and I said yes..and they were appalled!!.. and asked if I'd like to revoke it.. they even sent in the director of the hospital into my room to really push revoking it..and so I revoked it..they said "what if we're doing surgery and you just quit breathing and then we can't do anything ..but we could have saved you.. ".. they were mad at the hospital in Oklahoma that had talked me into it..my precious husband had to get one when we were at the VA in Fayetteville AR before they would put him on hospice.. he was on hospice for 21 days.. and I took care of him 24/7 they only came once a day and if I need them and they had already come.. wouldn't come back.. it was very hard .. he had made me promise not to let anyone see him.. so he passed in the living room..me and him and Jesus..I've been really ill for about 5 years (stomach issues) and almost passed several times.. I go to the hospital in Arkansas now because they are soo bad here..even the ambulance driver said .."don't go there.." I wonder if I should get another DNR..I don't want the hospital director to get mad at me...I've learned NOT to make medical professionals mad.. just go away quietly..I can still see my husband in the bed in the living room..15 years later.. hardest thing I've even done..but so glad he went first...because I loved him more than I love myself..(later hospice said I should have overdosed him on his morphine..I didn't know you could do that...shocking!! I accounted for every med they gave him when they came back after he passed..I wouldn't think you could do that..it might be illegal.. but that's what they told me)

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@standinginfaith what they said you should have done was not only illegal, but very unethical of them!

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1 reply
standinginfaith | @standinginfaith | May 17 5:36pm
In reply to @rashida "@standinginfaith what they said you should have done was not only illegal, but very unethical of..." + (show)
@rashida

@standinginfaith what they said you should have done was not only illegal, but very unethical of them!

Jump to this post

Thank you!! It never occurred to me to do that..I was stunned!! (and if I'd done that..I'd have murdered my husband.. how could I explain that to GOD..???)

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yrm | @yrm | May 17 11:36pm
In reply to @kayraymat "Yikes! Was that some religious group?? Yes, our life should be our decision." + (show)
@kayraymat

Yikes! Was that some religious group??
Yes, our life should be our decision.

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UC San Diego Medical Center. Not only was I a patient, I worked there off and on over 20 years as an RN.

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kayraymat | @kayraymat | May 18 7:56am

The world is over populated already & yet society ( some groups) don't
seem to want human choice to matter. It may not be that way anymore, but I was told that in a Catholic hospital, if there was a choice of "save the mother or save the baby" it was always the baby that got saved. We were brought up
Catholic but as I matured I realized how devalued women were so I could not continue. (it is Sunday morning & I seem to be on a soapbox....)

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kayraymat | @kayraymat | May 18 8:03am
In reply to @standinginfaith "I had a DNR which the hospital here in Oklahoma advised me to do years ago....." + (show)
@standinginfaith

I had a DNR which the hospital here in Oklahoma advised me to do years ago.. then when I was in the hospital in Arkansas they asked me if I had one and I said yes..and they were appalled!!.. and asked if I'd like to revoke it.. they even sent in the director of the hospital into my room to really push revoking it..and so I revoked it..they said "what if we're doing surgery and you just quit breathing and then we can't do anything ..but we could have saved you.. ".. they were mad at the hospital in Oklahoma that had talked me into it..my precious husband had to get one when we were at the VA in Fayetteville AR before they would put him on hospice.. he was on hospice for 21 days.. and I took care of him 24/7 they only came once a day and if I need them and they had already come.. wouldn't come back.. it was very hard .. he had made me promise not to let anyone see him.. so he passed in the living room..me and him and Jesus..I've been really ill for about 5 years (stomach issues) and almost passed several times.. I go to the hospital in Arkansas now because they are soo bad here..even the ambulance driver said .."don't go there.." I wonder if I should get another DNR..I don't want the hospital director to get mad at me...I've learned NOT to make medical professionals mad.. just go away quietly..I can still see my husband in the bed in the living room..15 years later.. hardest thing I've even done..but so glad he went first...because I loved him more than I love myself..(later hospice said I should have overdosed him on his morphine..I didn't know you could do that...shocking!! I accounted for every med they gave him when they came back after he passed..I wouldn't think you could do that..it might be illegal.. but that's what they told me)

Jump to this post

One of the goals of Hospice is to alleviate suffering so that sounds very plausible to me. You have reminded me to check on my own DNR. Thank you.
Sorry about your spouse. I just lost mine also.

REPLY
1 reply
kayraymat | @kayraymat | May 18 8:05am
In reply to @rashida "@kayraymat unless the patient has specifically refused sustenance - and even then the person may not..." + (show)
@rashida

@kayraymat unless the patient has specifically refused sustenance - and even then the person may not be in the right frame of mind to make the decision, or afraid to eat/drink because of dysphasia - they could be fed intravenously.

Jump to this post

I would think that if a person had a DNR, that makes their wishes known ahead of time.

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1 reply
standinginfaith | @standinginfaith | May 18 2:06pm
In reply to @kayraymat "One of the goals of Hospice is to alleviate suffering so that sounds very plausible to..." + (show)
@kayraymat

One of the goals of Hospice is to alleviate suffering so that sounds very plausible to me. You have reminded me to check on my own DNR. Thank you.
Sorry about your spouse. I just lost mine also.

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I'm so sorry ..hugs and prayers for you!!

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kb2014 | @kb2014 | May 18 3:28pm
In reply to @kb2014 "Thank you to everyone for the wake up call." + (show)
@kb2014

Thank you to everyone for the wake up call.

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I did what I said. Changed my advanced directives. I am a DNR. I am not suicidal abd actually pretty positive and goal directed. However reality is what it is.

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