Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

You need to work on you without anyone else. I have similar issues with aging and I try hard to be occupied w my world. People are selfish but that shouldn’t hold you back from being productive

Personally, I make myself to happily do things while still able, however much or little.
Making joy simply in friendly, passing hellos with strangers.
Helping other people however and whenever I find I can.
Of course not doing all these things enough or perfectly, yet I make myself try.
That is the best myself can find to live out my retirement.

All the best 🙏 to 💚 you ! xpax

@xpax that’s my attitude too, at age 78. It is amazing how a smile can light up another person’s face, and I have always got a smile back, whether it is from complete strangers or friends, acquaintances and, of course, family.

For instance I was at a restaurant with my husband and happened to look over at a woman at the next time who looked toward me at the same time. I smiled, and immediately she smiled back. It was not fake - very genuine on both sides!

I love those moments!

Hi Sally,

I think you have had many good responses to your post- I hope you see that you are not alone. Isolation is easy in our society, we can fall into it-so we must be proactive about connecting with others-in person. I recommend visiting your local senior center. Sometimes you have to visit several before finding one that resonates with you. Hopefully you live somewhere this is possible. For now, go outside more, try to get some exercise if possible, and eat healthy whole foods, and limit online and passive actions like tv watching.

Best to you
M

your words speak to me directly I am almost 69 years old. I have a very loving family married married , children, five grandchildren from the outside. I should be a very happy and blessed woman, but I suffer with the disease of depression that takes hold of me and won’t let go. I’m dealing with my aging mother right now. I’ve been taking care of all of her health plans for over a year. She’s now in assisted living, but she’s almost 99 years old. The thought of losing her makes me so sick to my stomach and I also feel not needed like my purpose in life is over. I’m sitting right now next to my dog on the couch and I can’t move. I see no light I see no joy I see no reason to get out of the door even.

Always Remember: Moods Will Change.
If at all possible, get up and move, and your moods will start to move.
Water a flower and you will feel better!

This does indeed sound like a depression. What have you done to address it? Of course it is good you posted here--and I think you'll get some helpful responses. If I felt this way I'd first go to my PCP and get bloodwork done, thyroid checked, etc. Then I'd consider therapy and maybe medication--although I don't know if they are right for everyone. But if you trust your PCP they should be able to work on this with you. Maybe you've already done much of this? Do some things work better than others? Personally, walking in nature often helps me. I cared for my mother-in-law at the end of her life (having temporarily moved a thousand miles east) and every morning I'd take a suburban but pretty walk to a cafe and get some fancy coffee. Sometimes I'd cry or journal or just eat a nice muffin. It varies what works for all of us but I try to send a message of affection to myself when I'm caring for others. So passing that on to you and holding you in my thoughts as you are doing something so kind and important.

thank you for your response. I actually have been suffering with depression for over 25 years. I am on medication for over 25 years. My psychiatrist says I have a cyclical clinical depression. I can go months with feeling great and not even being able to pull up these ideas that are in my head now where I enjoy my job I enjoy my family. I enjoy my volunteering. I can be fine for months at a time and then for whatever reason ;built-up stress or at the end of a vacation or something and I just fall into this hole I describe it as a hole with a black cloud and no color ,my heart palpitates. I don’t want to get out of bed. I can’t eat. I feel like I have nothing to live for and when I get in these conditions, thats when I start to reach out for help, I do not have a therapist. I’m trying very hard to find one here in South Florida that I can meet with in person. Someone that is about my age who has gone through things that I have gone through raising a family elderly parents, etc. I’m looking for someone like that like a friend but someone who’s a therapist. I have not had luck finding that so far . I did learn a lot of tools to use to get me out of this hole. The first one of course, you must get out of bed and brush your teeth. The next one is maybe get out in the fresh air. Do an activity , connect with a person but right now my days are filled with visiting my mom because I’m afraid I could lose her any day and my five beautiful grandchildren who I helped raise , they all now go to school and have afterschool activities so that whole stage of my life has changed. I am married. My husband still works, but we do not have a very busy social life, which is very difficult. I just look at the world and feel like what’s left for me.?

I am struck with how much caregiving of others you have done and are still doing.
When I read your last line...'I just look at the world and feel like what's left for me'.
The word that immediately popped into my head is YOU!
Who will you be now. What would you love to explore or learn. What is your fantasy of the life you would like to lead. Where would you like to go. Do you keep a journal? Writing in it daily could give you some answers and insights. Keep it loose and free form ...no rules. Let the pen guide you. If you remember your dreams, keep your journal and pen close...write them down. Most importantly.. don't judge your journaling or dreams. The world is rich with possibility and you seem to be a woman with a wealth of experience and learning.