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Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment

Posted by rhongirl @rhongirl, Aug 23, 2022

While I was diagnosed in Dec. 2019, chemo, cancer surgery, and four more surgeries took place over the next 2 1/2 years (one of which was a second cancer surgery). I'm 6 weeks out from my last surgery, feeling somewhat normal physically, but wading through the emotional aftermath. "What just happened to me?" I told my husband that I've spent the past 2 1/2 years trying to stay alive - and I'm exhausted. Exaggerated emotions with up-and-down mood swings. . . I find myself yearning for that sense of emotional equilibrium I had before this all began. I'm doing my best to give myself time for this part of the healing - but I find myself weary. Family and friends look at me like I'm fine now, and the trauma has passed - but the truth is, I am not fine on the inside. It's as if my body is trying to reboot emotionally, and its short-circuiting a bit. I am so goal-oriented. . . if I just had that "magic" date of when everything would be normal again, I could focus on that; but it doesn't work that way. I have to be patient with this portion of the healing - and I'm finding that hard. What are others' experiences with this? How long does it take for your emotions to settle from the trauma of breast cancer?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.

Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | May 4 3:31pm
In reply to @lznielsen "I completely agree with the cancer PTSD. I had IDC in 2021. I was told it..." + (show)
@lznielsen

I completely agree with the cancer PTSD. I had IDC in 2021. I was told it was caught very early and that my chance of recurrence was very, very low. I was told to be thankful, and I tried. Fast forward to 2024 and I was diagnosed with bone mets. Stage IV cancer is rough, its lonely and treatment has become a full time job. Although I grieve the life I no longer have, I am thankful for every additional day I am given.

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@lznielsen, fellow members have written about PTSD and cancer in these related discussions too:

- PTSD and learning to cope living with cancer https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/ptsd-learning-to-cope/
- Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/facing-cancer-recurrence-ptsd-acknowledging-mental-health/
- Likely metastatic lobular cancer: How do you deal with fear, PTSD? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/most-likely-mbc-ilc/

I believe grief and gratitude can co-exist. I'm glad you're here to share your experience.

REPLY
ksue3 | @ksue3 | May 5 5:29pm

My emotions have been all over also. I had so many shocks, or surprises as I went through the phases of diagnosis and finding it aggressive enough for chemo. Didn't start out that way. The AI drugs, I think, have an emotional effect on me too. I have very recently confided with a trusted friend and have talked with a psychologist. I plan to continue with that for a while. I felt better after the counselor visit. You aren't alone. Don't hesitate to reach out for some help.

REPLY
nakedreader | @nakedreader | May 14 10:01am
In reply to @clh71 "I also had a huge hematoma. I felt horrible. It took a very long time for..." + (show)
@clh71

I also had a huge hematoma. I felt horrible. It took a very long time for it to go away. I think depression and sadness goes along with it all. Your body goes through a huge change. Be kind to yourself. Honestly, I think the only way I got through it was because of my husband and friends. They were like my cheerleaders. My surgery was in 2023. My risk of getting breast cancer again is high. Do you have a very good friend to talk to?

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In addition to my husband, who has been very empathetic and encouraging, almost all of my friends at the gym are guys, but a couple I've shared my bad news with, including the owner of the gym, have been encouraging as well. Oddly, the few female friends I usually chat with are sympathetic to a degree but seem like they don't want to talk about it.

I'm wondering if anyone here can advise me on how to scout out a counselor who might be helpful. Where should I begin my search?

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