What were the first dementia signs you noticed?

That’s where I am, too. I bite my tongue a hundred times a day because I know it’s the disease I’m mad at, not my dear husband.

Hi, my first red flag was my husband offering his alcoholic sister a glass of wine. Then he laughed upon hearing that his sister had to put her dog down (started having inappropriate reactions to information).
That stare someone else mentioned that just looked so vacant and emotion-less.
Also, my husband stopped doing things around the house and stopped outdoor chores like mowing. He now has to be asked to help out, no self-direction anymore and no higher-level executive functioning, and trouble figuring out what I think are simple tasks.
I know he's just going to get worse and my heart breaks for both of us.

Talk about timing! A few days ago, I drove my husband to where we used to live (3 hours one-way) for a lunch with all the guys who used to play racquetball with him. A few family members also showed up. Of course, lots of pictures were taken and that kind of vacant look in my husband's eyes (and in the eyes of one of his old friends who was sitting next to him, which makes me wonder if he's having trouble) was so obvious compared to the others in the picture. I'd never really been consciously aware of that before seeing it in a picture in comparison with others.

Wondering if anyone else is seeing this—my husband hums, sings a line or two of a song over and over, or simply babbles nonsense words when he is in the room with me, but now that it's nice weather, he sits on the porch in silence. I'm wondering if I make him anxious with my presence or if he thinks he should be communicating since there's another person present or …??? I know there's no point in asking him because he's probably not even aware that he's doing it, and I know he'll take it that I'm complaining about him humming, babbling, etc.

@trishaanderson I saw this dementia “mask face” as they call it, episodically years before we knew my husband was having silent strokes. Now after 7 strokes, including 2 bilateral last week, he has the blunted flat affect, apathy, disengagement, and void look, like nobody’s home, much more first thing in the morning and then later now with some sundowning. He has Vascular Parkinsonism. Like others mentioned, had always been meticulous with self care and extremely neat, so leaving drawers, closets open and the toilet seat up were clear signs as his short-term memory has declined. Always a math wiz and suddenly couldn’t figure a tip. His morning shave and evening shower started taking twice as long, and with these 2 strokes, he can’t do self-care, remember how to use his phone, other tasks. Looks at light switches like he has some sense of an old habit then leaves it on. Now becomes glass eyed and anxious as the sun goes down, afraid of the dark, childlike. He was a 3rd degree black belt, instrument rated pilot, and computer wizard. So tragically sad.

I saw many of these early signs everyone is mentioning but didn’t realize until more time passed. My husband has always been decisive and started having slower thought processes and less focus. Always a voracious reader then just stopped. Known for his lasagna, then overwhelmed following recipes or sequential tasks.

I saw this dementia “mask face” as they call it, episodically years before we knew my husband was having silent strokes. Now after 7 strokes, including 2 bilateral last week, he has the blunted flat affect, apathy, disengagement, and void look, like nobody’s home, much more first thing in the morning and then later now with some sundowning. He has Vascular Parkinsonism. Like others mentioned, had always been meticulous with self care and extremely neat, so leaving drawers, closets open and the toilet seat up were clear signs as his short-term memory has declined. Always a math wiz and suddenly couldn’t figure a tip. His morning shave and evening shower started taking twice as long, and with these 2 strokes, he can’t do self-care, remember how to use his phone, other tasks. Looks at light switches like he has some sense of an old habit then leaves it on. Now becomes glass eyed and anxious as the sun goes down, afraid of the dark, childlike. He was a 3rd degree black belt, instrument rated pilot, and computer wizard. So tragic to see this happening.