Suggestions | Help with Getting Her to Sleep

The repetitions! I think this is what bothers me most--for now. My husband has three topics: frisbee, his education (over 50 yrs. ago), and the bite he sustained from our Chihuahua (8 yrs. ago). And that's it. Oh, there's more. He tells me about every single thing he does. I'm going to the bathroom. I'm going outside. I'm taking the garbage out. I'm unloading the dishwasher. I'm going upstairs. I'm brushing my teeth. Add to that the endless reports on sports, whether it's tennis, soccer, basketball, baseball, or swimming. Doesn't matter what team, the important thing is the score. None of this sounds particularly damning, not nearly as difficult as what many here describe. But the constant drip, drip, drip of pointless information and old stories has shut me right down. I feel bad because I can't and don't respond to his every utterance with something like interest. You know those feeble smiles you get when someone does or says something embarrassing and you don't want to encourage them but don't want to humiliate them either? Like smiling at a precocious child who says something that is completely off the wall. The only relief really is describing all this to a sympathetic listener, which I assume I find here. So thank you one and all for your patience with me.

My husband with Parkinson's dementia was sundowning. He would get up in the middle of the night and go outside on our 23 acre property. Once I found him face down in the dirt and he had to go to the emergency room with hypothermia. I started giving him 10 mg of melatonin at 4 pm and another 10 mg at 9 pm. The sun downing stopped and he never did it again until one time when my son forgot to give him the first dose until 6 pm. Melatonin comes in quick dissolving, fast acting tablets that taste ok. You could try saying it's candy. Anything is better than trying to take care of a raging/roaming partner with dementia.

@raebaby thank you. What brand of tablets do you use?

Brand is important. Not all Melatonin is pure and effective.

Hi @raebaby, I think you posted about this before, and I keep the info you provided about melatonin in mind for when I will need it.
I have some questions, and I hope you don't mind.
When he takes the first dose of melatonin at 4 pm, what time does he go to bed and fall asleep?
Is he able to go to the bathroom at night or does the melatonin knock him out completely?
Is your husband alert during the day or does he spend most of the time sleeping? My husband doesn't sundown, but he does get up during the night to use the bathroom and to prowl for food. Since he needed a couple of surgeries and also was prediabetic recently, I've taken to locking the fridge at night so he can't snack. He's accepted it okay, though, without fail, at 6 am he wakes me up to open the fridge.
My husband is fixated on eating. I pushed our dinner time back an hour, making his bedtime about 8pm, hoping it would make him more tired and less prone to getting up.
So far, I just give him 5 mg of melatonin to calm him as without it, he talks a lot in his sleep. It's amazing his sleep talk is clear, and he sounds like he did when he was in his 40s (he's 81 now).
I subscribe to Consumers Lab, an independent organization that tests supplements and other foods for their contents and contaminants. It's well worth it. Not all brands of melatonin contain what they claim to have.
Thank you for your posts!

HI @lkelly8,
Weighted blankets are supposed to help with sleep. Also, grounding mats.
I use a weighted sleep mask that helps me tremendously. Regular sleep masks work too if she can't tolerate the weight on her eyes. I like cotton ones better than synthetic.
Also, the scent of lavender is supposed to be relaxing, and warm baths before bed, if that's doable. You can put some lavender oil in the warm bath, or put it on a cloth under her pillowcase or close to her nose, that she can smell during the night. Or make a rub with jojoba oil and a few drops of lavender oil to rub under her nose or on her wrists. You can put lavender oil in a diffuser for essential oils.
Chamomile and/or lemon balm teas, with warm milk, and eating a banana may help. You may be able to add liquid melatonin to warm milk.
If she'd tolerate Reflexology, pressure applied to certain points on the hands or feet, then the reflex points to hit for sleep disorders are Solar Plexus and Diaphragm, Brain, Thyroid and Parathyroid Gland and Spine reflexes. You can probably find some demonstrations on YouTube.
Can you involve your mom in any activities that may tire her out during the day?
I also remember reading that white noise machines may help sleep. There are also certain musical programs on CDs or that can be downloaded for better sleep.
Good luck! Please post whatever you try and the results.