Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment

Hello ksue3,
I can relate to all of the posts on this thread and I certainly understand your feelings. I think I can help with your bra issue. When I was 70 I had ILC in one breast and IDC in the other breast so I had a DMX (without reconstruction) in March of 2023. I had spinal compression fractures from osteoporosis just about the same time. I am on tamoxifen instead of an AI due to the osteoporosis and that med has made the arthritis I had worse so I just felt like the old me was gone and the new me was dealing with issue after issue. Like you, I found the breast prosthesis uncomfortable, heavy and hot in the summer. I started hunting online for a better bra and prosthetic solution. I found a great mastectomy bra company online. Their bras are soft and comfy and they stay in place. Their breast forms are lightweight and you can use them for swimming too. They are very helpful online and get back to you within a day or so if you ask questions about their products on their site. They have single and double forms. You can find them at bustedtank.com
I hope this info can help you and others in our situation. I have a fatty sensitive area in one armpit since the mastectomy that is bothered if a bra rubs on it so I turn that area on the bra down and stitch it on my sewing machine so it stays away from the sensitive area. The bras are soft and so you could hand stitch it if you don't have a machine or maybe you know someone who does. Their products have made a huge difference for me! They have single and double breast forms and you can cut them and trim where needed. The bras and forms are machine wash and dry, another plus! I hope these bras and forms will make a difference for you too. Sending love and healing wishes to you and to all on this site. ❤️

You are not alone❣️ I have had dozens of conversations with breast cancer survivors that have all of the elements of “ah geez” and although our journeys are all different, our reasons for frustration are uncannily similar.
Too much cancer treatment, in my case young when starting, all causing a lot of collateral damage after the fact. I still get a little irritated when I remember my doctor telling me “you will have roughly a year of treatment, then your life will be able to return to normal”. Yeah, and God laughed when I told him my plans.
I am just a few years younger than you, but I am guessing I started a little younger. Too much chemo, and a fair bit of radiation. Multiple surgeries, multiple endocrine therapies.
Every single day, my silver lining is that I am spending the day enjoying this life with my husband whom I cherish beyond moon and back. I get to go to the barn and play with or brush my horses and remember to just breathe and live in this moment.
I might get to have lunch with a friend on the weekend who won’t judge if I can’t remember something or if I get lost in the middle of a sentence.
I can’t tell you what to do, but I had to get some better living with chemistry to get my mind heading in the right direction emotionally. I also had to remind myself why I have opted in for these treatments every single time, and then be grateful I still have those things in my life.
After all the treatments, are you cancer free now? What are the reasons you opted in to all this chemo?

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm only 3 weeks out from a lumpectomy (I was stage ZERO!) but am on an emotional roller coaster. I'll turn 78 in a few weeks, go to the gym every day, don't eat crappy food, and always considered myself to be in the best of health. Nonetheless, I was diagnosed with breast cancer by my last mammogram less than 2 months ago. It's common to hear the saying, "laughter is the best medicine", but on the 2nd night following my surgery, I watched a Woody Allen movie (Manhattan Murder Mystery) that was SO funny that I literally laughed until my sides split -- at least my stitches did, and I wound up with a big hematoma and my breast looked like I'd been to a body-painting booth at a street fair: every color in the rainbow, and it filled up with blood until it was a couple cup sizes larger than my other breast. And the pain, once I got up from watching the movie, was excruciating. I'm thankful that the cancer was caught so early, but in addition to the physical pain I'm still experiencing, at times I feel overwhelmed by a deep feeling of sadness and depression. This is totally unlike me. I've been having nightmares at night and have been combatting them with sleep meds and Tylenol. I feel like I've been walking around on under a dark cloud. I've started going back to the gym on a daily basis but, also unlike my normal self, feel like I want to withdraw from others and not socialize as I would normally do. I'm just wondering how common this depression & sadness hangs around and the best way to overcome it. Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated.

I'm the total opposite. I am over weight and don't exercise. I'm 77 and just went for my first mammo after lumpectomy and all is clear. I think the best thing to do is not stop your socializing and continue as though nothing has changed. You will come though this like hundreds of other women have. It's not a death sentence anymore. Best wishes to you.

I also had a huge hematoma. I felt horrible. It took a very long time for it to go away. I think depression and sadness goes along with it all. Your body goes through a huge change. Be kind to yourself. Honestly, I think the only way I got through it was because of my husband and friends. They were like my cheerleaders. My surgery was in 2023. My risk of getting breast cancer again is high. Do you have a very good friend to talk to?

Wow! I am SO glad I am on Mayo Connect and learning from all you women!
May 12, 2025 is my bilateral mastectomy. Because of many other health issues, including heart disease I will not be having implants done. Cancer caught early, Thank God, but in both breasts...& I am high risk for a reoccurrence so off with both breasts. Of course, I am mourning the loss of my breasts. I was shocked to learn I had BC...always so focused on my heart health. When I saw pictures of women who went "flat" I was initially shocked! I feel better now but I am wondering how I will feel emotionally post surgery & I look in the mirror. My goodness...how could you not feel hit by a ton of bricks?? Yes, the cancer is gone (pray so). My surgeon told me in 2-3 yrs. my stage 0-1 would metastasize...I was thinking a DMX was overkill but she set me straight. 4 lumpectomies were not reasonable & PLUS b/c of my heart disease I could not take the chance of scar tissue from radiation affecting my heart. My heart is already damaged. I am 70 years old, with total support from my husband, son and friends. I have so much to be grateful for. Thanks ssmab for that heads up re: prosthetics, I will look into bustedtank.com. Health & Peace to All!!

I just reached out to a counselor I have known for many years. One hour long phone visit helped and I will continue on with him to find ways to cope better. I am weepy a lot, so tired, and don't have any family near. I got to the point that I felt my friends didn't particularly want to hear anything else about this journey of mine with breast cancer. I was given Anastrozole after chemo, with side effects. Switched to exesmestane. Yes, side effects but less so. I don't feel normal. Other health challenges have crept in too. Aging stuff. (I am grateful for so much though.) The drugs can affect mood so I suggest finding someone with whom you are comfortable to have a talk to pour out your feelings. Friend or counselor. I hope those of you checking into Bustedtank can find something that you like. I am almost 85, shrunk to 4'11" and have lost my waist. Therefore bras with a band just roll up and are uncomfortable. They also ride up too high under the front part of the armpit and rub and annoy terribly. There was a hint posted to sew down the armpit area. I had a single mastectomy. The search for bras in still on!

There is no answer to your question, I’m afraid. I found my lump March 2021 and 4 years on I can still get emotional even when I see other people with cancer, never mind myself. I’m due , 12 May for my 4th mammogram after breast cancer and I feel sick just thinking about it. Like you, on the outside, I’m feeling and look ok so my family think I’m ok. But inside, I’m not ok. But I am better than I was. I had counselling from July 22 - oct 22 and this was a game changer for me. I was becoming isolated and was suffering badly from panic attacks. I still get these attacks but I can control them now. Xx

Hi @rosa1935 - Similar to you, I have experienced a wide range of emotions during breast cancer diagnosis and treatment.

I definitely grieved. Also, I found it emotionally and mentally challenging to make such important medical decisions so quickly and also accept that my life and health had changed so profoundly.

Most helpful was an oncology social worker who was part of the hospital system where I was treated. We did telehealth almost every week.

And, I was inspired by the women on this site. Also my local Gilda’s Club offered helpful webinars.

Be kind to yourself. I also realized that accepting my feelings was easier than fighting against them. I journaled every day. I use the Waking Up app for meditation, which helped ground me.

(Antidepressants were also helpful!) All hands on deck for help!

Best wishes! You are not alone.

P.S. I went for my post op diognostic mammo and blood work. Had my surgery in Sept. Everything looks good. All clear. I'm going to believe it stays that way.