Aging Alone—Finding Strength and Connection

Hi Robert,
That was too bad about the problem that you had with your computer that cost you $100! I have had my computer for many years and it works perfect. I bought it from Puget Systems in Auburn WA. They offer free tech support for life with every computer. Plus they mail you the computer at no charge. They make them so good that they hardly ever have to be repaired. When you do have a problem they can usually fix it online. I haven't had to have my computer repaired in over 8 years and I use it constantly! You might want to consider them for your next computer. Just do a Google search for them.
PML

I understand completely. I am alone and do not seem to make friends though I am not difficult, but too well read for many and not interested in gossip or the usual chatterings. No patience for fools, I suppose, I like sardonic, smart humour and words, walks and brain power. But I also look a bit strange due to surgery years ago that left my face slightly unpleasant and just a bit offbalance. People can't get past an aberration, and either embrace it or repel it.

I understand completely. I am alone and do not seem to make friends though I am not difficult, but too well read for many and not interested in gossip or the usual chatterings. No patience for fools, I suppose, I like sardonic, smart humour and words, walks and brain power. But I also look a bit strange due to surgery years ago that left my face slightly unpleasant and just a bit offbalance. People can't get past an aberration, and either embrace it or repel it.

If you live in or near Ventura, perhaps we could walk and talk. Jim

I understand completely. I am alone and do not seem to make friends though I am not difficult, but too well read for many and not interested in gossip or the usual chatterings. No patience for fools, I suppose, I like sardonic, smart humour and words, walks and brain power. But I also look a bit strange due to surgery years ago that left my face slightly unpleasant and just a bit offbalance. People can't get past an aberration, and either embrace it or repel it.

You are very kind. I'm wondering if I wrote that late at night when I couldn't sleep. I recognize it, but it's just a day later, and I'm in a better place. I appreciate your suggestions. I have planned to visit assisted or senior living facilities, but I have a very low house payment and I would like to pass my house along to my son, at least until I am forced to sell it to qualify for medicaid for nursing home if I have to.....I make a few dollars more than the medicaid allowance for Arkansas which is a very low income state. A friend had to move to Denver to qualify for a medicaid senior housing, because the income level is higher. I did get out more before arthritis made walking so painful. I still try to run one errand a day just to leave the house. I went to a senior enrichment class for a few years, too...but it started so early and with sleeping problems and digestive problems, I had to stick around the house early till I'm sure gut issues don't arise. (Sounds like excuses but this is what aging does). Morning church is not possible. I have gone to a Presbyterian Church book study group, but again, the arthritis pain in my hips sitting in a folding chair...even with a cushion became uncomfortable. This sounds so negative....but actually, my grandson called me this morning and asked if I wanted to go out to lunch or brunch. We did. He was so sweet....eating out costs me sometimes more than I need to spend and he doesn't realize that. But it was so worth being with him. So even though I am often as sad as I sounded in what I posted, a good morning like today makes it worthwhile. Because my son is going through his second divorce and is stuck in a house he hasn't been able to sell and isn't suitable for me, I am sticking here until something changes for him. We may have to combine homes (despite the fact I only have a 2 BR) One day at a time...sometime a good day and sometimes not so good. Thank you for your encouragement. Blessings to you for caring for your dad and condolences for the loss of your brother....TOO young. My son is 62, and I do worry about his health. Maggy

I am an introvert. I like weekly scheduled walks with a friend and scheduled get togethers every week with family.

And you have us! Hugs

Hello Marilyn I think I’ve identified with you several times before on this site. Wish you were my neighbor!
I’ve talked about this with you and others one other time.
I hate going to some ladies event where you hardly know anyone. I’ve left depressed, and never want to go back.
I’m only 81! I love saying that now!
It’s part of my new attitude.
Well anyway, we have a ladies group that meets once a month here in my HOA neighborhood.
I left early the first time feeling so sad. Did not go back for a year.
I’m not really shy but seems like I am with new people. Do not know what to do to start a conversation.
Finally one day I signed up to go again. Sat at a snack bar with like 6 other women. Just sat and listened for a while and then if I could chime in with a comment, I did. Eventually that helped me, break the ice.
At the end of the evening, I told the ladies that I did not want to come here tonight right up to the last minute!
And then I told them I was so glad I did. I got lots of hugs from them instantly and they were so happy that I said that to THEM. Made them feel good that they helped ME!
So I’m going to go again this week,
I’ll let you know how I did and what I did to make myself feel comfortable there.
I’m guessing others don’t know what to say either😘

I went to a place today that has a group that knows me but I'm not really part of it. They're very decent people but today they all kind made it clear that that I'm definitely not part of it. Then about a half hour hour later they dropped that demeanor and I could see they felt bad about how they treated me. That's groups for you. I'm not that big on them but when I'm part of one I try to make everyone feel always welcome and I never forget the older ones over any new members.