Is this another step in my wife's progression?

Hello, @tunared Scott here and, short answer, yes we had to deal with this type of behavior.

I know everyone is different but I realized early on that travel was far too hard on my wife. Different settings caused not only confusion but when we got back home her condition often took a noticeable step down.

My wife, too, greatly reduced who she would talk to. She wanted no in-person visits and phone calls were often between me and the caller with her just listening ‘over my shoulder’. Her entire world shrank almost daily, and ss a consequence so did mine. I became aware that constant changes were something I had to accept and deal with in a manner that was as comforting as possible for my wife. This often involved redirection, false agreements, etc. when answering her questions. In her case, correcting did nothing but upset her and made me keep recalling my mantra of ‘broken brains are not logical and do not respond to logic as we would hope’.

Fire away with any other questions!

Sending Strength, Courage, & Peace

I have a loved one with dementia and my only solace is that they are much older and like the wrinkles on the skin, the brain ages too. They are still the same person; just much older and the degeneration that comes with it. Otherwise it's very difficult. What I do when they say something unintelligible, which they often do, I just say "Oh. ok" and then we move on. This is also something their professional dementia caregiver does too and we have discussed it as the best way to deal with it. Asking them to repeat what they said often leads to frustration unless it's something that we can at least partly understand.

In your case what is being said is intelligible so you may want to speak with professionals who knows certain proven techniques of dealing with it. Not that these will work for your situation but they may give you some ideas so you can discover what will work in your case. It can be very difficult but it is also very possible to manage it towards the best it can be.

Scott, thanks for quickly responding. I guess my problem is I haven't completely accepted "broken brains are not logical" and sometimes try to understand where she is coming from and make adjustments accordingly (and that is my problem). After I posted my request for help, I took her out for a "ride to no-where" for 2 hours and a coffee & pastry and she was back to her old self. This disease is soooo frustrating at times.
Thanks again and thanks for being there over these past few years.
Dan

Robert, I haven't had very good luck with "professional dementia caregivers" and have lost confidence in the ones that say they are "experts". Thanks for responding

You may want to speak with other professional caregivers that have had years of experience with dementia patients because in my experience most that I have spoken with can offer valuable, practical advice. Even those may not give you all good information for your particular situation but some things they say will work, or at least help you to understand.

My approach to the 'illogical' has been to acknowledge I heard what she said. But I only say, "I see." or "Oh." I don't ask for explanations or say, "That isn't right." But when she says, "Is your son married and have children?" Then I'll start a conversation and fill in the blanks. Then she'll ask, "What is your son's wife's name?" And I tell her and say, "They were here for Thanksgiving." And she'll say, "Oh, yes, of course they were, I don't know why I couldn't remember." I guess it is my version of simple behavioral training. I accept some parts of her brain aren't working, but perhaps she can make a new connections in other ways. (She can still speak three languages and remembers the lyrics to hundreds of songs). Small wins.

and it's a great approach! thanks

I've learned never to correct, it doesn't change anything
.....I just say "That's interesting" and change the subject