Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

Yes, I do .... I'm 80 and in good health with the exception of a knee replacement and I had a small lump removed from my breast about 9 months ago. My kids are all grown, I have moved down to be near them but since they work I rarely see them, I no longer have a car (accident which totaled it), live in a less-than-desirable senior apartment, cannot find a church which "fits." I do a lot of reading and walking and I'm starting to do an aerobics tape I did several years ago. Otherwise, I feel like I'm just biding my time til it's over. I know that is awful to say, but it's true. I do see a Psy.MD for depression and anxiety and take meds., but it doesn't take the sense that I'm sitting in a corner somewhere watching the world go by without me. Barb

Other countries like Japan, South Korea, and the American Indians (sorry if that's a mis-nomer) Revere their elderly .... here in the states, they seem to just set us aside with no usefulness and not even asking us questions about things we have in our "wisdom box." It is sad, but that is what our country has become. I am reading a book right now about an Amish family, and they build what is called a Dawdi Haus onto their main house, especially for their elderly parents to reside in. It was attached to the main house where the children were and easily accessible for help and life's questions .... they had a lot of wisdom and the family knew and respected it.

@amberpep, hi Barb, I was saddened by your post and thought perhaps you might need another perspective on your life. I’m sorry that you feel that life is passing you by, it really isn’t, you have been blessed with reaching 80, I know that I won’t get to that age…you also have good health which is amazing, this enables you to get outside and make friends to talk to, our families are a gift but often they are not going to have a lot of time to spend with you. I stopped relying on my family for pretty much anything so if they seek me out I’m always happy. I believe that we’re better off finding others that can relate to you and understand your feelings. Perhaps you can look into social gatherings and find a hobby or even learn something new. It’s a tough world today and easy to get lost but you’re a survivor and I think that you will find your place when you want to.

Your feeling is mutual.
If it wasn’t for taking care of my dog I would feel useless.
I think you have to have a purpose in like to feel happy.
As we age we are not able to do the things we use to do and it will make you depressed, so you have to find things you can do and do that.
Remember the song by Cat Steven’s “Cat and the Silver spoon”
Listen to that and you will understand why we are in this situation of feeling alone.

I like your choice of song, big fan of Cat Steven’s, the words in this song always brought tears to my eyes, sadly it’s true what he wrote, 🙁

I definitely don't feel like I need to have a purpose. I'm 76 and have never felt that way.

You’re a very fortunate person, 🙂

I understand how you feel as I feel the same way. I am a senior woman, married but with no children. Through the years, I have monetarily helped one nephew in particular and one of my sisters. I am having terrible anxiety/depression issues with no help in sight. He never even calls to see how I am doing. I am very isolated with no friends.

Hi Dorothy,
I'm so sorry that you are feeling depressed and anxious! That is awful about your nephew that you helped not coming around or calling. I am a lot like you as far as being alone and with almost no friends. My husband died in July of lung cancer. All of our friends are already dead and up in heaven. My last friend died just before my husband in May. I haven't seen or heard from my son in 30 years. What I've done to help with the loneliness is talk to God and tell him my problems and concerns. It helps immensely! Just talk to him like he's your best friend and he is! God has answered many of my prayers and I'm so grateful. I don't feel as lonely as I did. The Mayo Connect website has helped a lot too! There are very nice people on here and they are very caring.
If you want someone to communicate with I'd be glad to do so. I envy you having the name Dorothy. I love that name! The Wizard of Oz was my favorite book as a child. In fact, I read all 23 books about OZ!
I wish you the best and will say a prayer for you.
PML

Thank you so much for your kind words. My husband feels the loneliness and isolation, too, as the male friends he had in our neighborhood who organized the “guys’ night out” get togethers have passed away. My husband has one friend left who is 95 years old but he doesn’t live nearby. Both my husband and I are extreme introverts so we just can’t go out and make friends. My anxiety is at such a heightened state that every little task I have to do makes me feel ill. I have a therapist I can talk with and have told him everything about my life as an abused child. I don’t have the strength to make it to some of my appointments as I am frozen with fear. Thank you for your prayer. Yes, I would like continue to communicate with you.