Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

I am so sorry. I’m 71 almost 72and I get that feeling from my grandkids too. When I think back, I guess I didn’t want to be around old relatives either.
My health has been deteriorating since I was 38 after giving birth to my second child. After I retired at 63, I had open heart surgery to replace a valve, then a shoulder replacement, sciatica, diabetes and other small problems.
If you have good friends, hang on to them. If you don’t, try to make them. Life can be very lonely.

Hi, it's hard to make new friends in such an unfriendly world that has lost communication skills unless it's on there phone or computer. My grandchildren simple prefer the other grandparents with money a beautiful home, and expensive toys. I'm sorry for your health problems as well. It's hard to get old...we don't realize it until we get here. And we seem to be a burden to these people we raised. It's sad all children are not like this, but some are makes it even harder....

I’m 66 years old and feeling useless
I still have my faculties and I can still think straight, but I have this paranoid constant feeling like I’m being pushed aside.
I’ve been told it’s all in my head and that I’m just grieving.
I love my family and all I want is to give my sister a beautiful sendoff.
I’ve already lost my dad and then my mom and now my baby sister and I cannot wait to be with them again. That doesn’t mean I’m suicidal. It’s just a depression I’m currently going through and I’m taking it out on my entire surviving family members.

I wanted to be part of and participate in her funeral arrangements but have only been assigned projects and asked for the ideas simply to humor me.
I feel alone, although not alone.

I read a certain Bible passage at my Mom & Dads funeral’s which was assigned recently to my younger brother. I had it all planned along with a eulogy about my sister and our life growing up.

I think that between all of this, losing my sister, not being able to assist in plans, I’ve been having manic episodes that I cannot handle any longer. Is there anybody that can help me? I can’t take it and I don’t want to lose it. These emotions get so bad that I hurt all over.

Dear Cathie-

Your feelings touch me deeply.
Your feelings of loss are complex, and probably won't have a simple resolution.
Perhaps you can find a few ways to reduce your suffering and make sense of things, a bit at a time.

A friend who could not join whole-heartedly with his family in their chosen memorial for his deceased brother stayed in the background during the family service, then later had a personal farewell service with two friends who, he felt, had known his brother in depth.

Shortly before my mother's death I had learned Thich Nhat Hanh's simple breathing meditation. I practiced it during the viewing and funeral, and for the first time avoided getting caught up in family dramas. ("Peace is Every Step" is his simple book, which helped me a lot.) People thought I was praying and left me in peace. Maybe you have a meditation, verse or prayer.

My experience at times like this is that it's best for me to let it pass. Fighting for control, and even just to express what is meaningful to me doesn't work out well with my family. I can feel very out numbered, and I believe that's what you feel, too. Please try to find peace for now, and know that over time you'll have the control to shape and express your love and grief for your Sister in meaningful ways.

Ed

Hi Cathie,
I'm so sorry about your sister dying. It's hard to cope with a loved ones death. My husband of 30 years died in July. I miss him terribly. In May my very good friend also died. Even the neighbor's cat who visited me a lot and just loved me moved away! Now here I am all alone except for one thing. I have God and Jesus and all the angels. I pray often and it helps a lot. It gets me through the day. Talk to God about all of your problems and ask for his help. He will. He has helped me a lot! I feel like you. I can't wait to join everyone up in Heaven that has gone before me; especially my husband. I'm not suicidal either.

What was the Eulogy you were going to give about your sister? If you feel like sharing it, I'd love to read it! Also what Bible passage were you going to read?

It sounds like your family is being rather insensitive. Just ignore them and do what you want to do. Don't wait for their approval. You don't need it. You lived for 66 years making your own decisions and it sounds like you still can with God's help. By the way, 66 is not old! I'm 78. That is old!
I wish you the best. I'll say a prayer for you.
PML

Greetings Cathie,
I will be 74 in June, and I have grown to believe that there are two things to think about when it comes to our personal beliefs (regarding our health and well-being as we age). One, what does our mind tell us we can and can't do, and two, what does our body tell us we can and can't do.
Physically, the "ailments" that come with age are a reality. But the manner in which we mentally "interpret" those ailments is often times subjective, meaning that we can CHOOSE to believe our ailments are debilitating, or we believe that they are simply factors that we live with in a functional and productive way.
If any of the physical issues that you are dealing with LITERALLY prevent you from certain activities (doctor's orders) that you enjoy, work around those restrictions and find alternative activities that you can enjoy.
But if you cannot do things that you used to enjoy because you THINK you can't, try believing that you actually CAN.
For me, I have been involved in fitness instruction (40 years worth) and now work with a group of retired professors from a University in Cleveland Ohio. We meet weekly via ZOOM and the group (all, senior, ages and fitness/health levels) is spread all over the country.
We enjoy each other's company as we exercise (virtually) together.
My point, I believe you are much more capable of of regaining your healthy self than you give yourself credit. Most important is finding a group in your area that can provide an active, healthy social network.
You CAN do it, and be much stronger and happier as a result.
Best wishes Cathie!

Think getting older ( suddenly I’m 78!) and reduced mobility or whatever just brings on that feeling of uselessness. Not good! I find I have to ZtAKE myself back. Exclaim that you are still you and want to live YOUR life in best way possible. Do not be on hurry to give it up!!!! Tho’ I get it! Start a new hobby like painting or writing to get back into yourself and take control as much as possible. Explain to family - challenging but worth it. Best to you!

At 78 I think 64 is a baby! If you can alter your perception it might open some doors. Try as very gentle PT or class… with others. Maybe you’ll meet others too. Have to work at connectionsp! I’ve had RA pain and too many other issues for decades but I make myself reach out. At 64 I was quite mobile and active - still ran my representative agency full time - I miss that! Still trying to stay in the world, still reaching out. Hard but necessary. Best to you !

sorry for your loss. best advice from Mel is "let them"

water aerobics helps me although they have to lower me into the pool with a hydraulic chair.