Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

Her original diagnosis was made by a neuropsychologist. My wife chooses to drink in the face of the consequences and is very defiant about not wanting to stop. She becomes very aggressive if I try to limit her drinking. Her reasoning is that if she has this terrible prognosis it doesn't matter and she thinks drinking is one of her only pleasures. We have an adversarial relationship that dates back long before her MCI diagnosis and I just cannot fight with her on this issue. She has been advised by her physician and the neuropsychologist to not drink alcohol and she made it clear she has no intention of quitting. I don't think I can force her without creating WWIII.

My wife always loved her glass of wine almost daily in the afternoon. Now, a half glass just wipes her out. I don't know if its related to the drugs she is taking or the cognitive decline.

I’m so sorry. It sounds like you are dealing with a very difficult situation. May you find peace & strength through your support systems.

Write any time!

I don’t always do so good with that. I know the right thing to do is just answer the question again. Instead, I say we talked about that last night, hoping to maybe get him to put forth some effort trying to search his memory bank on the chance something will come back. Instead I get responses such as we may have but I’m asking you for the information now!

It could be both a drug interaction (with alcohol) and the cognitive issue. It is very clear that my wife's symptoms (memory, depression, agitation) all get worse after even one glass of wine.

Alcohol does tend to exacerbate those issues. 😕

One of our together pleasures was a glass of wine together. Now my husband only has a glass once or twice a week. He has found some fun nonalcoholic beers- they are actually very popular.
As for me, I still enjoy a small glass at dinner or with friends. But I miss having it with him.

Reading this it sounded like you were writing about me.
I have to think about the years that this man made me so happy and how much he loves me he tells me several times a day. I just want to cry. But I pick myself up and try to make our lives better as much as I can. I know I might wake up one morning and he may not be here since he is 85 and I am 76 but nothing is guaranteed that he will go first. I think of being on my own waking up and not seeing his face, missing him pulling the drapes! Doing the dishes and making his coffee. Life has been so good to us I just hope I can be my best for him now, I know he would do the same for me.

You sound a lot like me - I don’t really have anyone to talk to about what is happening and I too was feeling so scared about it that I found myself crying a lot and feeling so sad and unable to fathom that this is really happening to my husband. It has helped me a lot to read these comments from others in the same position. I finally went to a therapist and just being able to get my feelings and fears out in the open helped me. We are happily married 55 years and my husband is still capable of taking care of himself - but sometimes his behavior and forgetfulness really gets to me. Not knowing what the future will look like is very hard. Take care of yourself!